Do you think this could be classed as trauma?

[Birdbox181]

When I was 16 I was diagnosed with crohns disease. I had 6 years of hell with it. I came out the other side but no medical professional or my parents offered any kind of mental health support. I'm much older now and reflecting on those years. I don't really know how bad it was in relation to other people's trauma. To summarise:

-I had 12 months undiagnosed where I lost so much weight I was skeletal. No one suggested IBD to me, I thought I was dying
-I could eat or even swallow food without being sick
-I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy at 16 without sedation
-I started to have accidents. I was doing my a levels at the time and would have to change my underwear before college started
-constant pain and nausea
-my bowels would make the most horrendous noises, I would have to sit through lectures/exams with the noise and people sniggering
-I started to lose my hair. I remember sitting in the hair dressers and it was coming out in handfuls as the hairdressers brushed it.
-the medication made my face balloon, I didn't recognise myself at all
-meds also made me flush, I would go puce/scarlet, people would comment
-rumours in college started that I was anorexic
-I developed a blood clot and glandular fever due to low immune system
-was in hospital on an adults ward at 17, very very poorly with parents only allowed regular visiting hours.

There's more but that's the worst of it.

Yes, that sounds pretty traumatic all round, and very difficult for you to cope with, so it would be highly likely that you are still suffering from the impact of it.

Have you ever had any counselling to help you come to terms with things?

Sounds like you could do with some counselling to help you process the experiences you went through.

Yes - friend had similar at a similar age, and is definitely traumatised. It sounds horrific.

“I don't really know how bad it was in relation to other people's trauma”

Other people aren’t relevant here - what matters is your experience and how you were affected. For the record, this absolutely sounds traumatic. And it’s understandable to want other people to validate that. But it’s enough that it feels like it to you. Other people don’t get to tell you it wasn’t.

Thank you everyone. It was over 30 years ago now but it's never really left me and of course I've still got the disease.

My parents never really acknowledged what I'd been through, I expect it was incredibly traumatic for them too, it must have been so worrying but I hid so much of what I went through from them.

No health professional ever asked me how I was, how I was coping, did I need support of any kind, nothing. I was so scared and vulnerable and embarrassed.

My dad's recently died and he barely acknowledged any of it, his whole life. Not even in an 'I'm proud of how you've coped' kind of way.

I got through uni, I've had a good career and family. I don't know how I did it really.

Sorry, this is very self indulgent.

I was listening to a podcast episode this week that really reminded me of your story. You may find it helpful. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0024w8m?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

I've been looking into some trauma related therapy recently. I had a thread on it. Someone suggested sound baths which sound v interesting and don't require lots of talking therapy. I'm all for counselling but it's not the answer to everything necessarily.

It's really not and what you went through sounds horrendous.
DS1 has a genetic disorder and the effects on him are at the milder end of the spectrum but still significant.
He was referred to the pain clinic at the hospital and had a YEARs worth of sessions with a fantastic psychologist. I think hopefully the attitude now to conditions like crohns takes account of the effects on mental as well as physical health.

Your comment is interesting. Is it self indulgent to ask for perspectives and help on this? I'd say not. Were your family the brush it under the carpet types? Grief is a very funny thing. I've been extremely reflective since losing my Dad. It makes you evaluate your life and childhood and brings up all sorts of stuff.

My dad literally never acknowledged it. My mum was more supportive. A different generation I suppose, they werent big on hugs or declarations of love or pride. Sad really.

I don't suppose there's actually anything they could have done to help me, it was just something I had to go through. They were doing something right though as I did get through it without any kind of mental breakdown, I was certainly resilient.

Not self indulgent at all - it was definitely a traumatic experience and I too would be feeling aggrieved that it wasn't properly acknowledged. I have similar feelings but from a very different experience. You were a child at the time and have clearly done really well to overcome it. You are very much allowed to feel how you are about it.