Do you know someone who is "hard work"?

[BiggyJ]

Spending time with family over Christmas, and there's this one person who is really hard work.
They're hard to please.
Nothing is ever good enough and in the end, I just stop bothering to interact.

Anyone else have someone like this in their life?

By the way, in my case - it's not an in-law! 😂

My entire family! 😂 Anyone non-blood related I've cut off/keep at arms length if the relationship takes more effort than it's 'worth'.

Yes exactly how you described! I end up snapping back and feeling horrible afterwards , but I hate feeling like I’m walking on eggshells trying to please them. Glad I’m not alone!

Yes, a step child.

They are hard work! Really hard work to get on with.

Yes, my boss. But thank goodness I don't have to spend Christmas wuth them.

I work with one for whom a simple question like ‘how was your weekend?’ Is never simple. Same applies to ‘how are you?’, ‘how was your holiday’, ‘how are the kids?’ Hard. Work.

My DM.
She doesn't like neighbours garden lights reflecting in her mirror,doesn't like animals,nothing I ever did was good enough.Gets both my d bro s to sort things out for her.
Constantly forgets to reorder pills then rings surgery to say it's desperate.
She is elderly now.I do bare minimum as she is soo draining.
I think she is a narcissist.

One twixtmas she told me that if I didn't book a guest house to travel to our dgms (her mil she hates )funeral then I wasn't going to hers!!
The dcs have had 2 weeks off snow days too no way was I taking them out of school for more days.

Yeah my mum. She used to be great to be around but now she is older (69 so not really old) but her hearing is bad and if she hosts she gets so anxious and is constantly on and people about where they are sitting, what they want to eat etc. It's totally draining.

Every time I tell myself not to bite but it ruins the atmosphere how she behaves.

Next year I will make sure we arrange all Xmas days at mine so she doesn't get to host/interfere with everyone.

I feel so shit as our relationship used to be so good but I find her hard to be around now. I feel sorry for her also as it must make her feel like crap also. I just wish she would relax.

Thanks all, @Butterflysunshine01 you are definitely not alone!

That's just it.
They just go around with a massive chip on their shoulder, like the world owes them or something 🙄
I just think what the bloody hell is wrong with you!

I don't know... I always feel it must be hard work being like that. I just think life is so much easier when you're a nice person.
Maybe I'm just being naive 😢
It does make me sad.

I know a woman - she might not be hard work, exactly, but I find it so hard to "read her". We are in the same hobby group, so I meet her quite often.
She always looks so grumpy! She never looks happy. She doesn't sound happy either. But then, after a hobby meeting she can say that she really enjoyed herself and had a great time! And I think she means it. She just never look happy.

Yes, my SIL. Going to see her and rest of family tomorrow - there’s always a faint sense of dread before arrival but over the years have slowly learnt not to bite - not easy though!

We have one, they actually aren't difficult in person when talking once you've learned the topics to avoid but present buying is tricky and they can get very offended by things you can't predict.

More than one.

Not a relative but a person I used to play a sport with. Everything a fxxking drama. I always thought she was bi polar. Turns out she was recently (in her 40s) diagnosed with adhd.

Yes a few!

A relative of mine. She is angry all the time, about everything and everyone.
Her moods are up & down so you just never know how she is going to be.

This means that you can’t ever have a smooth conversation with her.
She can blow up (and I mean blow up ranting, raving, viciously nasty) over absolutely nothing.

I was talking about Yellowstone a couple of days ago and she just started ranting about how she thinks it’s absolutely utter utter shite, the acting is crap… on and on and ON she went, ripping it to shreds. She only watched one!!! Im a fucking loser dickhead with nothing better to do apparently because I watched it all and enjoyed it.

She is an extremely fussy eater and rants about how dog shit most foods are and what pigs and animals we all are for eating… cake! She hates with a passion fat people, they disgust her. (I’m big so that’s fun!)

The whole atmosphere drops to below zero when she enters the room.
The epitome of hard work.

That's me to a tee . But inside I'm happy .

My mum used to be very hard work. She mostly repeated herself and only had one topic of conversation: how wonderful her golden child son is (reader, he really isn't)

Yes - a colleague at work. Normal conversations or interactions will be had and then she will pick up on some random part after the event when everyone has moved on and go over it in minute detail in a sort of monotone with a stony expression, conveying her deep displeasure at how it made her feel. It will be over something so innocuous but it’s got to the point that people are reluctant to speak to her because they don’t know what she’s going to come up with after their conversation (it’s never anything serious - that would be dealt with immediately obviously). She’s a challenge, that’s for sure.

Yes - my sister.

Just 2.5 hours of her "company" at my dad's Xmas day reminded me why I moved out of home - and the country! at 18 to get away from her and my parents enabling her behaviour.

I've told my (adult) ds he can do what he wants next xmas but I'm going away for a few days!

Oh yes, my MIL's sister, she is THE most selfish person ever.
I decided on Christmas Day that I would speak to her if she spoke to me first. I'm still waiting
It's not so bad now that I've decided that's what I'll always do, if anyone picks up on it I'm more than happy to explain too.

Yes - me!

Yes, my brother and his gf... always been hard work but getting worse. Recently, he was so utterly vile over the phone to me, saying undeserved insults from nowhere... I told him I don't want to see him or hear from him again.

He clearly has a drink problem, I followed up with a text asking him not to call me while drunk and get some therapy. I've put up with him for years and at Xmas it's always a nightmare, he behaves like a man child (aged 47) and acts like a belligerent teenager!! Life is just too short to allow myself to be treated like this a moment longer!!

The thing is, everyone is ‘hard work’ for someone at some point, including those who think of themselves as ‘easy to get along with’, ‘go with the flow’ types.

My mother is spectacularly hard work, because she is too much of a people-pleaser to just say what she wants when asked, and frequently gets it into her head that the other person wants what she would want in their shoes, and assumes they’re just telling her what they think she wants to hear. For instance, we asked her this year what time it would suit her and my dad to come to ours for Christmas dinner, and agreed on two o’clock. No sign of them at 2. 2.30, 3. We phone. She says they’re on their way. By 3.30 we decide to eat as young DS is starving and we’re all hungry. They then showed up at 4.15, my mother cross because she thought we’d really meant we were eating at four, and were ‘just being polite’ by asking them to come earlier.

@NobleDeeds yes you see this is my thoughts on it - I think I AM hard work, but people seem to have different ideas of what this means? I'm a carer to disabled DD21, we have issues with housing and money problems, its not great, but if anyone asks how are things I say something like "yes its been very difficult with DD because she needs X Y Z and I've had to write to the doctor or appeal for funding for something or other, but we went to the park at the weekend not very exciting but it was interesting area got us out of the house, how about you what's new with you" etc

To me, I think many people would class that conversation as "hard work". (Edited to add an @ to @TinkerTiger as that seemed like a similar example - so not people being rude or unkind, just people who aren't full of joy and don't have a big tale about drunken weekends or holidays to tell about)