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Original poster

Does anyone else have a perfect sister in law!?

64 replies

wildfellhall · 28/12/2024 10:17

Now I don't want to get a kicking from the usual meanies; I just wonder if there's anyone out there with a superstar sister in law that you love and who loves you but you end up feeling the inevitable deflation at the comparison others must make.

Please don't tell me I'm insecure and/or jealous. I'm looking for genuine empathy - not for the stating of the obvious!

I don't want to ID us so I will not describe her glories. Suffice to say - you know if you have one!

I will get over it by tomorrow.

OP posts:
JetskiSkyJumper · 28/12/2024 12:43

I have both! One's a nightmare, one is fine and we get on well and the other I love but we don't get to see each other often.

leia24 · 28/12/2024 12:46

Yes she's beautiful and lovely and we adore her

afaloren · 28/12/2024 12:49

Me. She’s thin, beautiful, very successful lawyer. All the things I’m not. Funny, clever, nice so you can’t even hate her!

But she also lost both parents at a very young age. So.

dpbarbie9 · 31/12/2024 18:11

yes my sister in law is definetly the favoured one. Better looking and can do no wrong.
Mother in law buys her better presents for xmas (something my husband has also noticed the past few years)

She is constantly talking about herself how great she looks and how she is basically a better mum than me because she can breastfeed and i bottle fed.

Just on boxing day, my mother in law turnt to her and randomly said 'you looked bloody amazing on your wedding day' She has never said anything to me about how i looked on my wedding day. The sister in law even offered to do my hair and make up and i accepted because i didnt want to be rude yet she let me down one week before our wedding day!!!!

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 31/12/2024 18:15

I met my DH because I was friends with one of his sisters She had leaving drinks before going travelling for a year and he asked me out that night.

A year later she came back from travelling to attend his wedding and nearly died of shock when she realised he was marrying one of her old mates!

That was 40 years ago and we are still good mates now.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 31/12/2024 18:29

My SIL is one of those over achieving super people. She can do a very stressful high powered job and bake without a recipe and it will be perfect. If she gets tired or stressed she does a 10k to clear her mind, so she is slim and fit too. She will discuss politics or philosophy at a high level and then play nerf guns with the kids. She has written and self published books, she is a active on twitter, she can ski to a high level and trained as a yoga teacher. She plays multiple instruments and is good at lego, she remembers birthdays and manages everything for an elderly parent and checks in every day. She knows about every kids show or trend, tik tok dances or video games, she volunteers with a charity and has worked overseas and is party of a humanitarian lobby group, she has a natural sense of fashion, is beautifully groomed and sings in a choir, sometimes solo, she even recorded a song. I swear to God, my friends think I made her up.

SnakesAndArrows · 31/12/2024 18:35

All my sisters-in-law (including the ones that are technically DH’s SILs) are lovely.

My exDH’s brother’s wife, who is now my SOL (sister out law) is one of the best people I have ever known and I still meet up with her now.

nodramaplz · 31/12/2024 18:37

wildfellhall · 28/12/2024 11:14

This is very positive thanks. I do almost always just see the positives.

There's no way you'll find any positives in mine!

AmazingGraze · 31/12/2024 18:37

I had two. One has died and the other one I haven’t seen in years.

LeaveALittleNote · 31/12/2024 18:39

I like my sister in law, but we’re not particularly close. She’s good fun, intelligent and interesting. However, I’m under no illusion that she’d really have my back if anything went wrong between me and my husband. Also, I’ve got a jealous, interfering MIL, and that is a dark cloud in my life.

brawhen · 31/12/2024 18:41

I have 7 SIL. No bad 'uns, but some I know much better than others, due to geography and life stage.

One is a lovely, fun, great person, a patient mother and feels like a real sister. But she looks like a film star - she gets agency people giving her their business cards while out shopping! I do not share this quality with her...

Another is a nun, and is almost literally saintly (in a positive way). So loving & giving.

PermanentTemporary · 31/12/2024 18:54

I have 3. I don't think any of us are very high end or glamorous. I do have affection for them all but for various reasons we're not close.

buybuysellsell · 31/12/2024 18:54

When I was in mental health crisis I felt that I could end my life and my children would actually be better off being looked after by my very maternal sister-in-law. Now I am well again I realise she could never replace me in their eyes. That was quite helpful to our relationship! We're very different people and I do admire her but no longer feel any sense of competitiveness.

DramaAlpaca · 31/12/2024 19:00

Yes. DH's brother's wife. It's a good job she's really nice and I love her. When my in-laws were alive it was just so obvious she was the favourite DIL and I couldn't compare in any way, but she's so lovely I didn't mind. I did produce the first grandchild, though, so that was something Grin

I've actually been lucky with SILs. I have a few of them and get on with them all.

alloutofcareunits · 31/12/2024 23:57

My sister in law was (and still is) one of my best friends before she met and married my brother. We were work friends then she started doing some consultancy work in my brothers workplace, she didn't make the connection that he was my brother and already liked him before she realised who he was. I encouraged him to ask her out, they were married within a year during lockdown. She is truly lovely

katseyes7 · 31/12/2024 23:59

My current one, yes. She's genuinely lovely, kind, thoughtful and supportive.
My ex one - 'perfect' so far as my in laws were concerned. On the face of it, yes.
Away from them, not so much. Certainly not towards me.
Unfortunately my ex husband thought the sun shone out of her.
Even his mother said we'd married the wrong brothers. I think she was right.

Turophilic · 01/01/2025 00:00

I have one who is honestly an absolute joy of a woman. God knows how my brother deserves such a partner; she’s ace.

On the other side, I have one who is the whipping boy of my idiot FIL. The fact that I don’t give a flying fuck for his opinion delights her and we get on very well.

amipretnant · 10/02/2025 08:20

My sister in law is one of the most annoying people I know sadly, the kind of size 6 who will call herself fat to you in a gorgeous outfit when you are postpartum;
The kind who will literally buy the same outfit as you for an important family event when you struggled to get something nice cos you are pregnant which I should take as flattery but it was extremely annoying to be heavily pregnant have to scramble for a last minute outfit. I never share with her what I'm going to wear now sadly
The kind who edited a full body photo of me and her and only edited herself to look thinner and me to stay the same and posted it online, as she's obsessed with followers most people I know she has followed and therefore follow her and I was so embarrassed I had to tell her to take it down I couldn't get over it
The kind who on holiday will treat me (the other young female) as if I'm there as her photographer and keep dragging me off the sunbed (my last holiday before becoming a mummy) to take photos of her a million times
She has no long standing adult female friends, any friends she does have is for the asthetic to be honest and so they don't stick around.
The kind who will have woe after woe with men but then is actively seeing someone's long term boyfriend when she doesn't really like him that much.

She's also really sweet in many ways too, but her problems really do make her unbearable at times.

Basically she has body issues but it is deeply annoying at this point sadly

pootleondown · 10/02/2025 08:24

I don't think anyone is perfect including me - but I have two very lovely sisters in law who I have a good relationship with. I probably have more in common with them than with my actual siblings 😂

Chuchoter · 10/02/2025 08:25

My brothers wife is lovely and we are very good friends.

Gettingslimmer · 10/02/2025 09:06

Mine is horrific. She was never great but for the last decade it is unbearable. She has early onset arthritis and is now obese, which has caused her pain. But she bullies everyone, shouts, says horrific things to your face, belittles you, and is constantly angry. And we all take it. Because if you stand up to her, she goes and goes and goes, she will rip your jugular out. I know, I did it once. Never again. She won’t stop attacking. I’ve genuinely never seen anything like it. The fury and twisted face.

in calmer moments she will say how angry she is all the time. But I suspect a lot of the problem is we let her get away with it, we all just look the other way or agree, pretend it’s not happening, appease her. Her husband gets the worst of it. He just gets drunk or goes to work/plays golf so he is out the house and away from her. He comments on how challenging it is now for him to live with her.

it’s getting to the stage I don’t wish to be near her. She’s a horrible horrible person. My husband is the same, he is struggling with her abuse, but we also don’t wish to break the family apart. So we are stuck that when we do see her, we need to put up with it. She starts off nice, but within an hour, she’s abusive. And it escalates.

so give me a perfect one any day of the week, and I will swap you with the utter horror we are dealing with.

recklessgran · 10/02/2025 09:11

I have a brilliant SIL and we really love each other and are best friends. She used to be married to DH but they divorced and she married his younger brother. The 4 of us get along like a house on fire, go away for weekends together and stay with each other a lot. We're SO lucky and judging by most people's reaction when they find out the set up, a bit unusual.

GameOfJones · 10/02/2025 09:13

One is perfect (in that she is lovely and we have a great laugh together.) The other one is a complete misery guts, sullen and spoiled although but I don't see her very often so it's fine as I stay well out of it.

user1492757084 · 10/02/2025 09:17

I love all of my SILs.
I love meeting up - they are generous, funny and kind.
Their kids are great and my children are really comfortable to spend time with them, and their uncles.
I feel very lucky in respect of extended family.

I hope I am good enought to them; that I often worry about.

GoldMoon · 10/02/2025 09:18

Dh has 2 brothers , so technically , I have 2 sil , but I barely know them . The brothers are not close , don't send birthday / Christmas cards , don't phone , one has moved abroad , the other far away here in UK .
They could be lovely , I just don't know .