Fucking shit life, everyone goes shit

[Marksanchez]

When you're on the floor, it is so difficult to get back up. I used to live in Asia with my wife, happy, then as usual ran out of money, having to return to the UK to work again.

Uk is the shitiest place to be. Me, no money, I miss my wife, my father fucking useless parent, my mother suffocates me, I often think about suicide.

I try to stay positive, but no work here that pays anything, and everything so expensive.

I want to work, but even finding a job is difficult.

Everything I try seems to fail. I'm not stupid, I'm intelligent, but why DOES EVERYTHING FAIL THAT I TRY.

Fuck it, I've had enough, fuck this life, fuck trying.

Enough.

Were you trying to live in Asia without working?

How old are you? What jobs have you had in the past? What are your qualifications?

Sorry you're going through such a tough time.
What kind of work are you looking for? Trying to find a job before Christmas is usually tough.
Hopefully, the new year can bring new opportunities.

Ring the Samaritans and talk to them.

Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen

We had an income as we worked on line. Beginning of September the profit dryed up after more than a year making profit.

“As usual ran out of money.”

It sounds as though you weren’t working there. You can’t not work and then be shocked when you run out of money. There are plenty of jobs in the UK. If you had to come back here then that means you’re from here? So, you went to school here and had the option of university funded by bursaries and loans like everyone else, so you could have got qualified and got a job and worked up a “career.”

You won’t get money for nothing. You also won’t have piles and piles of disposable income because you do have to pay to live. That’s life and it’s life for the majority of people. Working to pay the bills and just stay afloat, but there isn’t enough to go live in Asia with no job and be surprised when you’ve got no money.

Get a job, set up life here, and live it. Or get a job in Asia, set up your life there and live it.

I actually did email them, spoke to someone called Jo, it did not help.

I'm sorry, maybe you just didn't 'gel'. It might be worth trying again, they are trained to listen, not advise, I suppose it depends on what you need.

Why do you miss your wife, did she not come back to the UK with you?

My wife is still in Asia, she has a UK passport and will hopefully return next month. However I have to find work, get a place, save money, pay for her air ticket, survive etc. it's a tough thing, it's the fact that whatever I try, seems to work for a while, but not for long. Life is a complete bastard, because it is so tough to accomplish anything.

Don't get me wrong, I have tried all sorts of things, I'm not stupid, I try and try. Just seems that the fucking Almighty is always against me.

What do you mean by saying you’ve tried all sort of things? And why do they go wrong?

Are you being fired from every job? Or have you just been in industries with a lot of redundancies so you’ve been made redundant a lot? Why is it proving so hard to hold down a steady job?

Or do you mean you just do online stuff and hope it will make some money, but you don’t actually have a job?

You need to get a job, any job, to bring money in. Then, you can spend your free time deciding what career you want, if you need to take any extra qualifications or if you can start applying for those jobs. Then you stay in that job and work.

I mean, most people do live month to month, it sucks, but at least it’s steady. Why is it you struggle so much to keep a job?

You do have something positive in your life, you have a wife.

It's ok to have a pity party now and again, goodness we all do, but there comes a time you need to pull up your big girl pants, hoist yourself up and get back on with your life.

What job can you do?

You can contact them as many times as you need.

If you feel you are a danger to yourself, please ring 999. Someone will help you.

What age are you? What skills and qualifications do you have? Could you not work in Asia?

How old are you? Why would your parents have this much impact on you?

Keep looking, January is the best time of finding new job.

My father was out of my life for 40yrs, then we reconnected and I gave him a chance to be part of my life. He lives in Australia so we just have a video phone chat. He doesn't offer any advice, doesn't offer any help, he says he wants to be a father , but he's just a face on a video call. He just wants to be called a father but not act as one.

As for working in Asia, believe me when I say I am looking for a job out there.

What kind of work are you looking for?
What was your previous work?
What skills and qualifications do you have?
This forum is usually excellent for practical advice, if you'd find that helpful.

If you’d actually engage with what people are asking and saying, you might get some help.

I think, if you're in your 40s, then it's probably not reasonable to expect your father to dig you out of this hole you're in. Especially if you were estranged from him until recently.

How long were you living in Asia? What sort of work did you do prior to the online work?

I'm not expecting my father to dig me out of any hole. He's the one who says he wants to be a father, however he's not. As for being estranged, he walked away when I was a young kid, so I never really knew him. His choice, not mine at the age of 7.

@Marksanchez

Mumsnet can be a really useful hive mind particularly when it comes to jobs and how to be more strategic in applications.

If you want us to give advice, please tell us:
Your experience?
What jobs you are applying for?
What's your old salary and your salary expectation?
Where do you want to live in UK?

There are probably more important questions but let's start with the above

Where were you living in Asia - just asking as some places can be more expensive than others

I would like to say thankyou to all of the replies here. I didn't mean to come across as rude, and I wasn't seeking answers, as there are none. Sometimes life just gets you at the lowest point, and it's hard to get back up again. I wish you all well.

Good luck @Marksanchez

Sorry life is giving you a shit sandwich at the moment particularly when the people you love are far away.

Keep plugging away. Come back again if you need us - Mumsnet has helped me in my last 2 job moves. Practical advice but also confidence building

Ditto...hope things are looking a little bit brighter today.
Sometimes it's good to get things off your chest, be it to a friend, a stranger online, or just writing stuff down.

Life changes, what can feel like the end of the line one day, can reveal a glimmer of hope the next....count your blessings, and I am sure things will get better for you soon. x