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Is this a sign of puberty?

2 replies

ASign · 26/12/2024 16:08

We had a great Christmas day since we kept it small with just me, DS and some close family. DS (who’s 11) was extremely excited and happy all throughout the day until it got to bed time. He started getting upset and welting up because he said he felt guilty about getting presents when some kids aren’t as fortunate. I just thought he might be tired but this emotional feeling has happened again today. I’m not sure how best to handle the situation. I have been reassuring him that whilst yes, it’s unfortunate that there are kids who don’t get presents, or aren’t in good homes, that doesn’t mean he should feel guilty, but I was proud of him for thinking about others, and said we can look up charities to donate to. I’ve noticed that lately, he is getting sentimental and emotional over certain topics, like this one but also even smaller things like his kermit the frog teddy’s eye is coming undone.

Are his emotions a sign of puberty? I’m panicking because I don’t feel like I know enough or know how to deal with male puberty. I grew up in a very conservative family who never spoke about these things. It’s my duty to support him, but I am questioning myself like what if I teach him the wrong thing? What if I say something that negatively impacts him by accident? I know puberty is inevitable and I should be ready for it but I selfishly avoided the topic and now I’m panicking.

OP posts:
GreyAreas · 26/12/2024 16:15

He might be ruminating, over thinking, getting anxious or low about himself. Often when we show altruistic sentiments it gets praised and reinforced, but it's important we enjoy things and live well ourselves too! I'd be telling him that his happiness and we'll being is important, and it's the thing he can most control, so live a good life full of enjoyment. Explain that there will always be both good and bad in the world, happiness and suffering, and we can only really look after ourselves and our loved ones. And try to help him switch off from overthinking.

ASign · 26/12/2024 16:21

GreyAreas · 26/12/2024 16:15

He might be ruminating, over thinking, getting anxious or low about himself. Often when we show altruistic sentiments it gets praised and reinforced, but it's important we enjoy things and live well ourselves too! I'd be telling him that his happiness and we'll being is important, and it's the thing he can most control, so live a good life full of enjoyment. Explain that there will always be both good and bad in the world, happiness and suffering, and we can only really look after ourselves and our loved ones. And try to help him switch off from overthinking.

See that’s the thing, I think in some ways it’s nice he’s thinking about others and being altruistic, however, equally, I don’t want him to start neglecting his own enjoyment of life and beating himself up on things he can’t control. So there’s almost like a fine line you have to run in. He has always been a sensitive soul but lately it feels like things are impacting him more and I wonder if that’s hormonal.

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