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Help me I feel I'm going to a bad place

30 replies

LollypOPz5 · 26/12/2024 07:57

I can feel myself getting really down and lost. Overwhelmed and tired. I have had a few awful months. My boyfriend ended up relapsing onto drugs and got involved with someone who basically took over his life and our relationship. I basically didn't see him for 2 months and knew he was lying left right and center. He's not the same person anymore. He's medically unwell. He has so much mess around him now. I did withdraw from the relationship and ended it as it was at a point of no return for me. I then made the mistake of getting involved with someone I've known a long time who was also coming out of a relationship. He did a disappearing act after a few times together. I get it before people point this out. You don't rebound or get involved with others. You learn to be alone for a while. I get it. I'm over that anyway. It didn't bother me for more than 3 or 4 days.

Work is driving me crazy. I took on a part time job of seven hour days 4 times a week whilst my kids are primary age. I start at 7 am and get home for 2.45 in the afternoons. My boss has been messaging constantly pestering over the Christmas period. I'm already doing 5 shifts in a row over new year instead of 3 in a row. But she has asked me to work Christmas day which I said no. Then she woke me up at 5am asking if I'd do a shift today. My kids are here and I have planned my Christmas around my rota. So it's a no. But I have been unable to turn off my brain for my 2 days off and I've felt irritable snappy and Overwhelmed.

I'm not one to complain about being tired. I'm usually OK. But I'm tired. My body won't stay asleep past 5am. My sons up by half 6. I can't ever lie in. The tiredness has really caught up with me and it's awful.

I've woken up this morning. I feel so Overwhelmed. I need to tidy up after yesterday. I need to take my mums birthday cards round. I want to be with my kids but they will go back to their dad's later as I have work for the next 3 days. Although I will see them after work. I feel like there's so much to do and the worst part about it is I feel sad 24/7. Its mild. But it feels like abit of depression. It's not like me. But it's there all the time. I'm always worried about work and how people truly feel about me. I'm always worried about being alone forever. I'm always worried how ill afford to survive one day because life is so expensive. I am renting. I feel vulnerable and like I have no real security.

Also why is it whenever I think I'm safe talking to a male at work etc they always always try push it into another category. One of my colleagues has been with his partner 15 years. Because of this I thought he was perfectly mature and safe to be friends with. I told him about the first paragraph in this post and now he's testing the waters. I cannot cope with it. I just can't stand people at the moment. I just want to scream!

OP posts:
MiraculousLadybug · 26/12/2024 10:19

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You could try RTFT or even the update where she said it again, SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM.
Stop having a pop at OP.

BigSilly · 26/12/2024 10:26

Go round and see your mum! Is there a where nice near her to go for a walk to clear your head a bit?

Lilactimes · 26/12/2024 10:41

Hello @LollypOPz5
Im so sorry you feel like this. I am a lone parent and have worked full time and I totally get it. It’s hard. It’s also a difficult time of the year and can add to loneliness and general crap feeling.

First remember this at all times - YOU are bringing up your kids and you’re managing to to work. Bloody well done. keep hold of this.

Two. You’re being pulled in all directions - remove boyfriends and men from your life for at least 6 months. It doesn’t sound like you have good self worth, so you’re attracting men who aren’t helping you but are adding to low mood. So you need to work on yourself. maybe you don’t have enough time for men just right now - you need to work and get yourself feeling better and cutting men from the equation will reduce the amount of directions you’re being pulled in.

Three. Help yourself feel better. Go to doctors you may need a short course of meds. There are lots of free things - meditation, yoga, exercise on YouTube… get yourself feeling better. Read some self help books? Build your own self esteem and try and calm your mind - meditation helps me. This isn’t over night fix - but just small first steps can feel good and constructive.

Four. Get as much love, cuddles and enjoyment from your kids. Lie with them and watch a movie - leave cleaning the house for now.
play with them - don’t worry about seeing a boyfriend.. I am a HUGE believer that good time spent with kids and good play can really calm a house as sometimes they pick up and feed off your unhappiness.

Is there a way you can try and have a rest or sleep if your kid’s father looks after them an extra shift just so you can have a sleep. For me everything is easier if I’m not so tired.

This is like your emergency triage - then once you’ve stabilised - hopefully you can look at longer term plans to bring more security into your life.
Good luck Op. xx

MyNimbleViewer · 26/12/2024 14:24

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MyNimbleViewer · 26/12/2024 14:26

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