People from ‘big’ families

[Gggggggg2]

Do you like it? Just a curious question as it’s Christmas too so a family time

im from a small family. Married with 2 kids and would love a 3rd in the future I think?? As I’ve always been from a smaller family I’d ideally like 4 but I’ve had 2 c sections so want to be realistic and also I think 3 would be enough chaos haha!

But I just wondered those who are one of 3+ kids and have cousins aunties uncles etc - do you enjoy it? Are family gatherings nice?

My daughter has a HUGE family on my ex-husband's side and hates going to family gatherings as they're loud and chaotic. I quite enjoy it but my daughter much prefers going to my parents where it's just us and my parents (and sometimes my brother). Not sure why 🤷‍♀️

I love it, we don't always all get on, but at the end of day, in a crisis, everyone is around. Christmas is great fun but we tend to be in smaller groups of 10 or so now at Xmas, as people are spread out. Have a big get together at New year tho, with almost 40 - it's chaos & you need to be loud!

Massive family we don't tend to do Christmas tbh but weddings, funerals, significant birthdays / events were there for. I have over 50 first cousins though.

Love it. 6l5 siblings, 40 first cousins, 4 kids. Partner has roughly the same. Always fun going on, but like to escape to quiet time too.

My dad was the eldest of 6 siblings and there was 18 grandchildren spanning 25 years. Sometimes there could be 50 people dropping Into a party over the whole night!
absolutely loved our chaotic family gatherings when I was younger but the family has now split apart abit as the older generations die so it’s no longer the same
I now have 3 and would love more but it’s not to be but I’m hoping to recreate those old days when they get older

Both my PIL came from large families (6/7 siblings each).

My DH is an only child by their choice.

Both say growing up with so many siblings was bloody awful (lack of privacy, being expected to parent their younger siblings, chaotic household, no space to have friends play, very little time/support from parents at key points in their lives etc). All their siblings have 2 children max and 4 are child free by choice.

I'm also an only and their tales from their childhoods sound total unappealing.

Ironically their parents were adamant about how happy their large families were until their dying day.

615 siblings?!

DH is from a big family and they all love within a few streets of each other. I found Christmas at his mums overwhelming but I'm from a small family so used to a quiet Christmas. In his house it's 10 people for Christmas day dinner, people dropping in all day all the time, going out to see all the family. Just doesn't feel relaxing. But I'm really introverted so it's my worst nightmare.

I am one of 3 and myself and my siblings each have 3 dc. DH was one of 5 and his siblings have 3, 1,3 and 0 children. I live in a small village as do my parents and 1 of my siblings the other sibling is just a few miles away. Our large extended family is well respected in the area and this gives me a lot of confidence, and my kids too I think.

Typo - myself and my siblings each have 4 children not 3

My family is huge but due to the age gap some of my siblings are 16/17/19 years older. Plus my half brothers are also much older than me and live in America and Hong Kong. I also moved for work twice so live nowhere near any of them. DH has a Norwegian branch of relatives. DH sister also lives in Spain so for last few years we have a dinner with her at our house in the UK a couple of days before Christmas. We did this two days ago.

It was less chaotic as the age gap was so huge but all of us had one or two children except one sister who had an accidental 3rd PG.

My Mother relocated a lot in her life as well including living overseas, one of my sisters was born in South Africa and my Dad was an immigrant from the commonwealth.

I would say I have a lot in common with three of my siblings and the rest it’s just purely an accident of birth. There is no falling out or anything they are just very different to me.

I am one of six. As a child, it was miserable. There was never enough of anything. No money, no privacy, one bathroom between eight, endless hand-me-downs, no affection, no assistance, no support, excluded from activities and all school trips because as a family we were on a low income. I couldn't wait to leave.

As an adult I see my siblings about once a year. I am close to two of them. I chose to have only one child, so I could be sure he had a better childhood.

My advice would be make sure you aren't overstretching yourself.

I think it could mean 6 / 5, ie 5 or 6?

I have 5 siblings, I hated it

My husbands family is big. He is 1 of 6, before his mum passed (she was lovely) , I think she had 48 grandchildren and 2nd grandchildren. We have a family party the 1st weekend in December and it's lovely.

My Dad is one of 6 and hated it. My grandad was one of 7 and loved it. Consequently, we have huge extended families on both sides and I absolutely love it when we’re all together. Christmas with some of my 17 cousins was always amazing and I’m trying and failing to recreate that magic for my children whose cousins all live abroad. Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas unless you’re crowded round a table with no elbow room.

Reading the comments here, I’m surprised that so many who came from big families didn’t enjoy it. It’s interesting reading their perspective as I always thought people with big families mostly loved it.

I come from a family of four siblings and our family gatherings with all my nieces and nephews and their partners and children can be around 40 people. If we have extended family over then it’s even more. It’s hard work at times with a lot of children running around and groups of people in different rooms chatting about different things and a group of us in the kitchen and lots of tidying up to do but we do really enjoy the family get-togethers.

The cousins love seeing each other and we always have a lot of fun. It can get chaotic but I think that’s part of the appeal.

They are amazing, so much fun. We had 16 people in the house Christmas Day 😊

I am one of 5. I hated it when I was a child but it is nice now, although chaotic as there are so many of us. It's difficult to get together to eat in the winter as no-one has a table big enough. Summer obviously we can just sit in the garden.

When I was a child there was no money and not enough attention. I was the eldest so did too much parenting myself. The age gap between us 5 was small.

I have only 2 kids myself. Although may have had a third if finances had turned out differently and I'd been better at pregnancy! We live in the South East where houses are very expensive.

Youngest of 6 married to youngest of 5. We have 4. Family gatherings are always big, fun and noisy on both sides.

I’ve got four siblings. I would never admit this to anyone in my family, but I wish I didn’t. Growing up I had no privacy, no space, no quality time with my parents, there was no money, I couldn’t have hobbies or friends over or any of the normal things my friends had. It’s put me off having more than one child. I never want my child to feel the way I felt growing up.

As an adult I live overseas and I am not close with my parents or siblings - my parents seem to have the attitude that everything has to involve everyone so I can’t just call one of them, it has to be a big group call and that means it’s so surface level that I just don’t bother.

Funnily enough, I enjoyed growing up with a large family on an aunt/uncle/cousin level - I love my big, close extended family.

I am the eldest of five with each generation having five siblings. Gatherings are loud and messy and overwhelming. Half the family don't speak to each other after my great grandmother died and we have nothing to do with my cousins as there's so many of them you couldn't spend any quality time with them as kids, so no proper relationship was built. I chose to have only 1 kid and my siblings all chose to remain childless.

I'm one of six, really like it. Close to all my siblings.

Umm sibs and I love them all sooooo much. We only have one or two kids each not by choice, and we try to get cousins together to make up for lack of siblings.
Amazing support from cousins randomly spread across hundreds of miles.
By agreement we don't have very many big gatherings which would be overwhelming.
We were raised with an idea of affluence- you don't need two shirts on your back.

I’m one of three although big age gap (12 years) from youngest to eldest.

I like having two siblings but we get on well as adults. We sometimes had issues as kids but I wouldn’t be without them. My parents has enough room and time for us all though and didn’t expect us to parent the littlest.