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The loneliest time of the year to be sad

6 replies

runningonberocca · 25/12/2024 12:11

It’s been a pretty awful one. My mum died earlier this year so this Christmas was always going to be difficult. But now my DP is very unwell and is fully reliant on me for all care needs ( he was well and at work 4 weeks ago). We went to A&E last week- not admitted but things have got worse. I can’t lift him myself. My family and his all live in another country except for 1 of my brothers ( who has a dodgy heart and can’t be lifting either) . My brother meant to come to us for dinner today . I want my DP to go to hospital but he “doesn’t want to let everyone down at Xmas” - even though he is in so much pain. He is crawling to mobilise. He’s nauseated from the painkillers . My brother really doesn’t mind if we cancel - he understands but I don’t know what to do.
I’m exhausted. I took emergency annual leave from work end of last week and beginning of this. I thought things would be better but they are getting worse instead. I’m due in work Friday ( NHS)
I feel completely broken . Im scared for DP. I really miss my mum. I have amazing friends but I’m not going to call them in tears over Christmas. I don’t know how I can realistically cope at work and care for DP . The mental and physical strain is immense.
Dont know why I’m starting a thread. Just want to get it off my chest I suppose

OP posts:
madaboutpurple · 25/12/2024 12:18

Sorry to hear about your Mum O.P. It was bound to be a difficult time and now your Beloved is also ill. I wish for a speedy recovery for him.I wonder can you get leave due to the circumstances or sign off due to stress might be a solution. I really think you need to look after yourself first for a change.I am sure any GP would sign you off for a few weeks.All the best to you and your family.

NovemberMorn · 25/12/2024 12:19

I hear you.
Losing your beloved mum is one of the worst blows a person has to deal with in life, I am so sorry for your loss.
Maybe your husband should go to hospital again, at least get some medical help if he can.

I have no advice other than try to look after yourself as much as you can.
I send my good wishes out to you, and a cyber hug. x

ChaosHol1 · 25/12/2024 12:22

Get signed off work, plenty of people rip the piss with sick leave but you sound like you genuinely could be doing with it for stress and to care for DH. Where is his pain? If its more exasperated today than it has been I'd agree he needs to be seen. I'm sorry you're having a difficult time and hope your dh health can improve.

DanFmDorking · 25/12/2024 14:23

I'm sorry you're going through a bad time.
May I invite you to try and take your mind of things with the Christmas Puzzle
Let me know how you get on

EachandEveryone · 25/12/2024 14:25

I would go to a and e with him as hopefully it won’t be as busy today.

SometimesCalmPerson · 25/12/2024 14:45

If you really think you need to go to A&E then go. i hope things get easier for you.

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