Feeling sad father of my child didn’t get me card or present from her

[Mamandhercub22]

This is my daughter’s third Christmas, I got her dad some really thoughtful presents from her - i don’t even receive a card from my daughter. It was my birthday a few weeks ago and again I don’t even get a card from my daughter - this is the first time he’s deliberately not got a card from our daughter. The previous 2 years - despite not being together - he still bought card and present for , Mother’s Day, birthday and Christmas from my daughter for me. This year, we are not on great terms - he cheated on his girlfriend with me (I thought he was single at the time) and once I found out he had a gf I messaged her to tell her about it - he now hates me, had threatened me with court, and refuses to even get a simple cheap card from my daughter for me. I am so upset, despite not being on best terms I still got his incredibly thoughtful gifts from his daughter - he’s her father and even though things aren’t great between us, he means a lot to her and I’ll always make sure she can give him a card and present. However I now feel like he must think I’m the worst mother in the world if I don’t even deserve a card from my own daughter.

Girl, stop.

Stop doing anything for him. Maybe you can give her some money to go shopping for you with someone in your family so she can surprise you with a gift if that feels important to you

I don't get why you're surprised. You messaged his gf to tell her you and he fucked. He's hardly going to make much of an effort for you is he?

Regardless of whether you thought he was single or not, why did you sleep with him? He's an ex and the father of your child. It's already a tricky situation, why blur the lines so?

I don't know if you need to move on from him specifically or if you need to get comfortable being single and realise you are enough and a relationship is just a nice thing. Either way, do some work on yourself. You deserve to know your worth.

All this present from an adult under the guise of gifting from a child is nonsense!

There's no difference from you buying someone for yourself and writing from your child on it!

What the hell? Stop this nonsense! Ask yourself…why do you want this? Like, really?

I agree
Move on

Thank you

Nuts. Just stop with this creep.

It’s not a card from your daughter. It’s a card from him with her name on it.

same as all the “thoughtful” presents for him are you putting the thought and effort in. Not your daughter.

but yes, dump this idiot. Once a cheater always a cheater. If he can cheat on his gf with you, you are now the gf he can cheat on.

WTF are you playing at?

It sounds you still have feelings for him. However he has moved on. You should move on too, in my opinion. It's never easy. I would say take this card and present incident as means of finally breaking up emotionally for good. I am sorry you are so upset on Christmas day. You have a beautiful child, try to put this story behind you. Maybe consider some counselling in the new year. I hope it helps

On the off chance this is even vaguely true...You expected someone who hates you to do this? At three (or almost) you could get DC to scribble you a drawing on a piece of card, which would then be them doing something for you.
A shop bought gift and card from any ex is not from DC, you've just decided it is.

Stop getting him anything. Go to a shop and let her choose something for you then you can wrap it together and put it away for Santa. Also get her to make a card .

Boundaries. You need some. Until children are old enough to buy them (teens), gifts are from adults really. You two aren’t together, never mind the weird blip when you shouldn’t have been having sex. Buying gifts for each other is blurring the lines. I’m happily married to my Dh and we do help the kids to choose birthday and mother/Father’s Day cards, but the gifts are from each of us to the other. The dc don’t have their own separate gifts. If we weren’t together, we wouldn’t give each other gifts, unless maybe dc asked and it was just a token one with their spending money. Send the card they made at school, done.

Why are you surprised? You threw a grenade into his life by messaging his gf, you really think he was going to give you thoughtful gifts after that?

Not condoning what he did at all but you seem far too hung up on a man you've not been in a relationship for years.

I was with you until you said you were not together.

Your expectations are not reasonable. You slept with him, his relationship blew up, and now it's a mess.

What he did previously is irrelevant because the situation has now changed.

You need to step back and have a think about how casually you were prepared to get involved with him. Did you stop to think through the risk that if it went wrong, it would impact your co-parenting relationship?

Hmm.

He's an arse Sleeping with him after splitting up was stupid.

Forget the Christmas present/card situation - you're focusing on the wrong thing.