My 7 yo just asked if santas real ...

[Tinselskirt]

He said he thinks we are the ones who eat the food we leave for santa. What do i say to him?! He's my eldest so haven't had this before! I'm not bothered if he has worked it out but i don't want to ruin Christmas for him on xmas eve.

He has autism and ADHD and takes things very literally.

Ask him what he thinks and take it from there. Personally I wouldn't lie and would just talk about how it's nice to pretend so you can still leave food out etc.

Loads of pp will now come on and say I'm 'spoiling the magic' but I think you can enjoy the magic while knowing it's pretend.

Totally agree with the pp .

I get what PP's are saying but I lied my arse off to get another couple years of magic.

Did your kids have Autism though?

Ask him what he thinks? Go from there. It's one thing playing along while they believe but I wouldn't outright lie when asked a question.

My son who is 7 and also has ADHD has asked the same thing tonight.

i didn’t know what to say to him, i avoided answering the question, i didn’t feel that Christmas Eve was the time to explain that Santa wasn’t real.

i just turned the question back on him asking why does he think he’s not real etc.

he then asked the Alexa, but wasn’t entirely convinced she was telling the truth

Just one out of the three of them.

Yep I did this with DD1(5) who asked me outright if Santa was real a few weeks ago and said she didn't believe. She isn't one for being fobbed off with 'well what do you think?' type discourse, so I said 'Do you really want to know, or would you rather believe whatever you want to?' And she said she really wanted to know so I told her. Totally unbothered and is just as excited for Christmas as always!

I'm comfortable with the Santa when it's vague and I don't have to come up with elaborate stories to explain away the quite massive plot holes in the whole thing, but we always said that we wouldn't lie if asked outright. It doesn't sit right with me at that point but it's a personal thing.

DD1 is NT by the way, but she's like my husband, a very logical thinker and can spot holes in stories or any hint of doubt about something a mile off. She actually seemed almost relieved to know.

But I don't think whether Santa is real or not is really linked to the 'magic' in any way anyway. The pretence can be as strong as the belief - make believe is such a powerful play tool for children. I can take DD1 to something in real life and she doesn't get much more fun from it than playing the same thing make believe at home with her sister.

We've just put out the milk and biscuits for Santa and she took part happily, although did say at the end 'will it be you or Daddy who eats that biscuit'?

I would distract at this point of Christmas.

"I do like a good mince pie, could you help me carry this."

It's one of those things that he could be "oh good you told me" but equally well could be utter devastation which spoils his Christmas Day.

I seem to remember one of mine asked on Christmas Eve once, and I just said that I was too busy to answer Santa questions at that point, and ask me on Boxing Day, and that was sufficient for them to go away happy. Then then forgot to ask me anyway.

your gonna have to be honest .Personally i always said father christmas is coming but i never said who they were or what i let mine assume.

So when my daughter asked about this i asked her how christmas made her feel ,when she said happy excited .I said thats the point its not so much a person its a game played by so many to make christmas special.To have fun

4 DCs here. When i get the question while they're still quite yound i always say ''He's real as long if you believe he is'' with a knowing smile!

They then tend to have a think for a few seconds. I feel that if they still 'want' to believe then that gives them permission to do so without feeling silly.

As for ''when does he stop?'' i tell them when you go to secondary school he doesn't come any more as if he came to ALL the kids in the world he'd have so many to see he'd never make it round in one night.

IME they stop really believing way before that anyway. Maybe at 7 or 8 ish - and after that they know we know they know and it's just nice make believe for a few years 😊

Just tell the truth.

My son is on the waitlist for assessment and he turned around and said to me the other day 'I don't think Santa's real, I think you and [DP] wrap the presents for us and pretend they're from Santa'

He's seen me wrapping presents from us so it's not too wild an assumption. Santa brings all his gifts in tartan wrapping paper and I'm very careful not to leave that one lying around. I told him Santa only brings presents to children who believe in him and he very quickly changed his tune because he really wants the present he wrote about in his letter to Santa.

I fully expect next year to be his last year believing but he has a nearly 2 year old little sister so I'll rope him into being her Santa to keep it going for her. He's such a loving little soul that he'd find that job super fulfilling ❤️

I'm not going to lie to him - it was more how to answer him on Christmas Eve without potentially ruining his christmas!

Thank you for all the suggestions and answers. His adhd brain jumped onto the next question before i could really answer it, and he's gone to bed at least pretending he believes so at least I'll be more prepared with how to tell him the truth tomorrow if he asks again!

I've found the whole Santa thing really stressful to be honest so I'm pretty relieved this will be the last year of having to remember how I've explained all the plot holes in previous years. (I also have adhd with all the memory problems that go with it!)

I told him Santa only brings presents to children who believe in him and he very quickly changed his tune because he really wants the present he wrote about in his letter to Santa
this is a good example of what not to say IMO .

Channel Sir PTerry:

just because you know how it’s done doesn’t mean it’s not magic.

Totally agree.

I couldn't do that. He'd probably have a meltdown at thinking he wouldn't get any presents.

I'd tell him the truth. My dc is also 7 and doesn't believe in santa, tooth fairy or the Easter bunny anymore and finds the whole elf on the shelf thing creepy and asked us not to do it. He's had his suspicions since he was 6 but this year said "Logically it doesn't make any sense". 😂

He is also ND, like me. I've always felt uncomfortable lying to him and relieved we don't have to pretend anymore. It hasn't spoilt the magic. He's not bothered.

Assuming he's asleep but I'd go with St Nicolas was a real person absolutely and the spirit of Christmas etc aka fudge it for another few years if possible.

I talk all sorts of crap so dc5 is pretty well tuned in for working out what's real or not real. I would advise to say something even more ridiculous and unbelievable and let them work it out