I'm sorry this is so long, but would really appreciate your thoughts, obviously there is more but its too long already…
My relationship with my sister since our teens has been difficult, one issue has always been her telling lies; awful, farfetched frankly bat-shit crazy lies.. Some examples from years ago as the recent ones are outing but they are along similar lines:
- Claimed (openly to friends and family) that our Dad wasn’t her biological Dad, there was no basis for this other than her friend had recently found out the same. I offered to do a DNA test, but she refused.
- Didn’t respond to my texts or calls for 2 months because she thought I had called her out on not meeting an obligation, when she finally spoke to me she couldn’t tell me what I said or done to make her think that but she "just knew" (at this point I was so used to her being unreliable I was indifferent - I honestly hadn't expected her do what she said she would)
- Claimed to be "barren" for years only to fall pregnant 4 months after I announced I was, her BF was horrified as he's always been very clear about not wanting children and she always said she was happy to be child free.
- When her DS was born I wasn’t allowed to meet them for two weeks (she allowed her next door neighbour, friends and other family round the day she came home) as I'd said I didn’t agree with her previously breaking lockdown rules (which she did frequently and openly)
- When we lived with our parents they asked us to pay a small amount of rent once we were in work, she refused and said she didn’t ask to be born and it was their job to look after her. At one point I was approached by a mutual friend who told me how unfair it was that Dsis was having to pay more rent than me and that we should pay the same even if I am "the favourite". Then her BF at the time told me that she would often be in tears when he dropped her off home as she didn’t have the money to give our parents and her bags would packed and on the step if she didn’t produce the rent so he would give her money (which she pocketed)
I've been seeing a lovely counsellor who has been helping me put boundaries in place and recognise how awful and unhinged her behaviour sometimes is; so I do push back on the lies and stand up for myself now which isn't going down well. I also don’t react to her ignoring me, I know she'll speak to me eventually so I think she's struggling with losing the power in that respect. It's also hard as she can be very Jaeckel and Hide, sometimes she's great, we can have a lovely day together and she does nice thoughtful things then totally blindsides me with some awful behaviour.
Recently a relative came with their DC to stay at ours (I had always offered this as we are near an attraction - that they could use our house as base once their DC were old enough to go)
They came for the weekend and after a few drinks he brought up DSsis visiting them a few months before (the visit was strange, they live very far away and they had never been close previously - he admitted he'd asked her why she was even there) It turns out she has told some awful lies again and said horrible things that just aren't in remotely true. She made a very serious allegation about another family member who I have regular contact with and other lies which, interestingly, are more of a reflection of her behaviour but flipped so I'm the one in the wrong, some as bonkers as the examples I've given.
In hindsight she has probably been doing this sort of thing for a while as Ive had strange reactions from mutual friends and family at events but thought I was being paranoid.
I feel like it’s the last straw, it's been over week, and at first I was angry but now I'm just upset, I've had enough. I can't let this go and allow myself and my family to be treated like this but I don’t know what to do next? Do I confront her? Does she even deserve that? I honestly never thought I would contemplate going NC with a close relative and I know I'm being stupid but I'm heartbroken, we are sisters very close in age, we have DC close in age.