Any empty nesters who blew off Christmas asap?

[JimHalpertsWife]

I have this sort of whimsical daydream idea of, once the kids have flown the nest, just taking off, me and dh for the festive period.

I don't intend (in fact will actively avoid) becoming the annual host of future adult dc Christmases. I'm totally on board with my dc just telling me if and when they want to see me, if its not the Main Day, im fine with that too.

Tiny log cabin, wine and cheese with dh? Yes.

City break away somewhere together? Bring it on.

Does it ever come true? Or do we all as mothers just become hosters of our adult dc and their kids for time immemorial?

Do what you want and what makes you happy, I'd say.

My last one leaves home in January. I would love to never celebrate Christmas again.

This sounds amazing. I think DD will make me do Christmas stuff for everyone though

My mum stopped doing the big Christmas when we had all left home. For years she’d had both sets of grandparents often other relatives as well. I don’t know how she did it for years. It was exhausting for me so must have been a lot of stress for her.
I prefer a low key Christmas in my own house so do my siblings. We all live near each other so can pop in Whenever.

As soon as DS stops believing I'm not bothering with Christmas. I bloody hate it.

We're home alone this year.
Tbh I tried to persuade DH to not do Christmas dinner but he wants to.
Apart from that it's a child free week adult or not.

One of my best Christmases was on the other side of the world with one other person 20 plus years ago

With zero pressure or commitments
( Other than a call with my mum that was lovely, but also slightly sad to not to be seeing her)

I hate to break it to you but my teenagers still love Christmas. Not believing in Santa didn't seem to make a difference to how much they enjoyed it. So it might not be so easy to drop it.

It does get easier when they're older though and you don't have as many Christmas activities to either have to go to because of school or feel you need to do like visits to Santa etc

Your last paragraph is my life 🙄

You can do what you like, and be happy doing it! To be fair you’ll be saving your kids and future SIL/DILs a lot of hassle with the their side vs my side bollocks every year!

We had this discussion with our teen DC only yesterday 😄. We have made it quite clear that they’ll be no hideous guilt and pressure to spend Christmas with us and dh and I are more than happy to spend it on our own 😄. I think dh was slightly too enthusiastic about the idea 😂

That was my plan.
Instead stuck with elderly Mum. If I outlive her, first Christmas I am off to somewhere hot and sunny, I tell you!

Well I am not going to stop having DM and DFIL for as long as they are around now, and my DC for as long as they want, but I am determined I am not going to keep DMs husband after she has gone (but he has been coming to ours for 20 years and has no family 😐). Might have been different if he had offered to wash up or make tea once in a while over those 20 years.

Oh God. If only.

I'm still hosting DCs/partners in their 20s and 30s. And my bloody Octagenarian parents. And my siblings.

I'm so fed up with the whole thing, but every one of them LOVES Christmas the way it's always been done.

Oh yes, I had this dream too. But the first proper year both my DCs left home our first grandchild was born so the last thing we want to do is bugger off together for Christmas! I wouldn't change it though. Also we get invites to their homes now which is rather lovely to just turn up with a pavlova and eat all their turkey dinner and Quality Street! Definitely recommended.

While I absolutely love the idea of going away for Christmas with DH, I suspect this will be our reality. Also at least while DPs and PIL are still with us.

Funny, ive been thinking this way. We are empty nesters of 3 months...this is the first Christmas when our kids are visiting us...they dont live with us now. Its sad and it changes things. I could do with a xmas away from everything.

We have no parents alive now either.

Do as you please OP! There's no rule to say you must host forever more.

I left home when I was 19 and I think I've maybe spent 5 of the intervening 22 Christmases back 'home'. I often visit in December but it's rarely over Christmas itself. My Mum & Stepdad do whatever they feel like for Christmas.

Our DC live a four hour drive, a 12 hour flight and an 8 hour flight away from us. Christmas is different but lovely. It was odd last year just the two of us but in a nice way, no running around, no stress, no spending all day in the kitchen but we do miss the DC. The house is quiet and isn’t filled with noise, we have time just for us and it’s taken time to get used to that. It’s lovely having a lie in on Christmas Day then getting up at a leisurely pace, opening gifts and doing our own thing.

We were invited to spend Christmas with each of them but we felt it unfair as they all offered and didn’t want to say yes to one and no to the others.

We’re having a big family Christmas next year when I’ll be hosting them all again and I’m not quite sure if I’m looking forward to it or not!

No. My children host me for Christmas now. As they should.

I’ve been hosting, very happily, for nearly 30 years. My parents are still alive but after their parents died I took over.
It’s not set in stone though. They’re away this Christmas and were last. We’ve been away a couple of times. And I anticipate christmases becoming more and more varied as the dc all at home this year leave home and start their own families.

Of course it can ! Me and DH went away most Christmases for about 20 years once DC had grown up. Australia, New Zealand, Carribean, South Africa, Canada, all over and plenty of different styles of holiday. All sorts of different trips and loved it. DC were fine as they had their own lives / families and we always got together either pre Christmas or in the new year. DGC liked it because they got more presents !