Can anyone please share how you got your sh*t together?

[InTheWaitingRoom]

It would be great to hear any stories of how you improved your life and what made you want to do that. Did you have a plan and how did you stick to it.

I am 36, single (although I have dated, I have ended relationships before becoming serious) for 8 years, I am very overweight, I've got huge spots on my body, I get wind and stomach aches all the time, I've got 2 sons (one has AuADHD), I have few friends who very much have their own lives, a segregated family, I own a house which I really dislike which has had lots of issues. I have a masters degree in the area I work in, but lack self esteem and confidence so I'm still in a entry level junior role, although I am on secondment right now in a role 1 step up from substantive. I think I am lonelier that I want to accept, I think I'm only just realising how overweight I am and the impact It is having (painful hips and knees even after walking only 20 mins with the dog). I used to ride mountain bikes, go the gym evry week, I wasnt as afraid as i feel now. We had an incredibly difficult few years which have completely destabilised us. I don't want this to be how it is for us, I don't want to accept this, but I seem to be choosing it everyday.

You’ve got a lot to change and that’s overwhelming, so you break it down and do one thing at a time.
I was on a thread where we changed/started one thing a month in the hope it would stick, and perhaps that’s what you need to do.
Think of one thing you can actually achieve that you can do every day/week so it becomes a habit. Maybe commit to drinking a pint of water every morning( that was one of mine) or walking for 30 minutes every day.

Writing it down is a good start, well done.

you are the star in your life, make it count!

at the beginning of the year I was hanging with a friend who had lost a dramatic amount of weight, she’d always, always been overweight. I finally asked her story and she told me, on her 50th birthday, she went to the doctor and asked for a gastric sleeve. He wanted to know what she had tried. When she said noting, he encouraged her to go hard out and see what she could achieve in a couple of months.

well, it’s not just the weight, everything else follows. She’s dressing well, her skin is fabulous, she is so much more confident

she did an online programme for ladies, got all the good habits aligned and has taken off

invest in you, start now, like right now

start with breakfasts. Yogurts, frozen berries, nuts, chia seeds, delicious and such a great way to start the day

get your arse down to boots! Get some salicylic acid on that spotty skin, buy a hair mask, a face mask, nail kit, teeth whitening kit

go hard out on a pampering night, write lists, make 2025 amazing, show your kids that a great life is possible!

I did the programme after her, lost 10kgs and am taking hair and skin supplements. Never felt better. Cold turkied on the sugar (sadly back on it now) but it made such a difference

Don't go down the gastric surgery route for God's sake it wrecks your body causes vitamin and mineral deficiencies and is invasive surgery. I'm on mounjaro and it's changed my life. After my hip collapsed I realised I had to tackle my weight.
Once the weight started coming off I felt 100% more confident and began getting out, exercising and generally feeling great.

@nzeire sounds fab! What programme was it?

I accepted that the only thing within my control was myself behaviour and took full responsibility for my actions and the good and bad that flowed from them. I meditated and learnt to ignore my critical internal voice, instead I challenged myself to be more present and push myself, especially in my career. I'm still a work in progress but I'm now in a better place than I've ever been.

Edit to add: Yes to Mounjaro. Another journey in progress but so lovely to be moving towards a healthy weight

The first thing I'd say is that at 36, you have plenty of time to make a great life for yourself. Also, you've done well so far, with a masters, a job and a house. Well done, that woman!

Weight - stick to protein and veg, berries not fruits. My diet allows a small banana or apple daily and that's it for fruit. Find a way of eating that really suits you. Abandon scales, weight-loss clubs and schemes etc. Stick to simple foods. Make food a background issue. Your weight will sort itself without being watched all the time. You'll probably find your skin improves, too.

Walk. Any walking you can do is great. If you can't get out, walk in the house. March on the spot while washing up. Look online for stretches and gentle workouts.

House - one tiny bit at a time. Have an ultimate aim to sell, years down the line, and think of everything you do in the house as working towards that. Tidying. Blocking a tiny gap. Repainting a shelf. No matter how small, it's progress.

You're a mite young for Swedish Death Cleaning but decluttering is a good discipline. Look at things (as you come across them, don't make work for yourself) and ask 'Why am I storing you?' If it doesn't give a good answer, throw it away. Yes, one can go too far. I recently threw out most of my nightclothes because I never wore them. Immediately, we had a cold snap and I remembered what they were for. On the positive side, I have two cosy new nightdresses and a fluffy hoodie I wouldn't have invested in otherwise.

Take the panic out of it all. You can do this.

Healthier diet needed by the sound of it. That's the easiest one to start off on. By that I mean an increase in fresh vegetables and fruit especially...and some books that are readable and inspire you to enjoy cooking with ingredients - quick and easy meals, nothing fancy and overly time consuming as it needs to fit into the rest of life.

That should benefit on weight, skin, wind, stomach ache and general positivity.

Then look at exercise. Walk the dog slightly further, longer it more often each day.

These are small, achievable and beneficial steps to begin with.

Thank you for your replies. I do think weightloss will really help lots of aspects of my life, including my confidence and also I think it'll make the boys not proud as such, but show them I can stick at something.

It's just one thing knowing I need to do something and another doing it. I struggle to stick to anything that involves looking after myself.
@DustyLee123 can you remember the name of the thread? Sounds great.
@nzeire thank you, what programme did you use?

You're not going to like this and I don't intend to be unkind.
People who have their shit together tend to be life's 'doers'.
How many threads do we see on here about keeping your home clean for example? There are usually multiple every week, someone is sat in a dirty, untidy home posting about it on mn....unfortunately the only way the house will suddenly become clean and tidy is if the OP gets off her backside and cleans/tidies.
I think for some people, not necessarily you @InTheWaitingRoom feel like they have achieved something by posting on mn, in reality I am sure you know deep down that sorting your weight out will make a massive difference for you (I am overweight too, I get it, I really do). With regards to the spots, there are multiple products on the market to help get rid of them, if they are really bad then you need a trip to the GP.
If you go to the GP mention the wind and stomach aches but is there a good chance it is related to your weight? Are you eating a lot of unhealthy fatty foods? Again, been there, done that, suffered the consequences!!!
Personally I am not worrying about my weight over the festive season (bad time to start a diet) but once January kicks off I will be back on it.
I don't think you need advice as such, this is all stuff you will already know, you need a kick up the bum and telling to get on with it!

I’ve done this before but 20 years later I need to do it again.

Start by writing a list of what you want to achieve eg lose weight and see friends more often and then break it down into smaller steps.

Would you consider weight loss injections? I have been exploring them and they’re not necessairly a quick fix but seem to make things easier.