Amount of time socialising

[Onemoret1me]

What do you feel is a reasonable amount of days a week/month for your partner to go out alone socialising?

Trying to determine what a normal level is.

does it bother you when your other half goes out with friends?

You need some girlfriends. We can't get all our needs met by one single man in our lives.

I have girlfriends thanks.

would it not bother you if your partner was out every single night?

I am out two nights he does two nights and we do one night together. We usually spend the other nights out with the boys doing activities.

So yep we are pretty much out 5 nights each, three each at adult events, usually music, comedy, play, film. We usually go to the gym three evenings also each and then do a game of pool, cinema etc with the kids.

What's the background here?

DH and I work a lot but try to have at least one chunk of time each week to do something individually, just for us. It's important to have a balance of things in your life, including socialising, exercise, interests.

Maybe a couple of times a week. I'll give it to mine though, if he goes anywhere I know I can always join him - sometimes he invites me anyway, others I only have to drop a hint and I'm invited. I only go 20% of the time and luckily his friends and colleagues seem to be very sociable and accept me.

Wow you must be exhausted and broke? 😀

No limits here OP - we might each go out once a week.

Different things work for different couples. Some people would be fine with their their partner going out most nights. They'd enjoy having the house to themselves. Other people won't like their partner going out once a month.
I'm happy for DH to go out two or three nights a week. We do have kids so I feel he should be here sometimes to see them and help drive them around.

Entirely depends on if that leaves the other person with increased responsibilities at home. Are there shared children? Then socializing needs to be limited.

No, I feel more energetic being out and about. I just like to be out socialising. To be honest after COVID I decided to get out and about a lot more and get out and not waste my evenings watching TV and sitting down doing nothing productive.

It can be as cheap as you want. I book amateur dramatics, free comedy gigs and then ask for vouchers for theaters at Xmas and birthday. We use our family gym membership three times each so it works out good value.

To be honest I always was out at least once a week with friends even when children were tiny. I find spending time out with my sisters, cousins and friends good for me. I am lucky having great friends and they are similar.

I reckon id we stay in we are only making more housework for ourselves 🤣🤣

We have no limits. We don’t live together. We spend 4 nights together. Sometimes more or less depending what’s on. Typically out with our own friends one night at weekend.

he runs twice a week and I gym twice a week

No kids? Do you live together?

I'd probably be ok with seeing someone 3 /4 nights a week if not living together

Living together I'd want at least 3 nights a week together

If we had kids - babies /toddlers I'd say one or two nights a month. Older kids once a week.

You have girlfriends? So when was the last time your organised a night out for you all?

But yes, I agree with you, it's not worth having a partner who goes out every night - thats pointless, might as well be single.

It really depends on the circumstances. Whether you live together/have kids etc.

DH is lovely but has no friends & no family locally. He goes cycling & will occasionally go to the cinema on his own if there’s a film I’m not keen on. I go out with friends but everyone is so busy, it certainly isn’t every week. In 2025 I really hope to remedy this!

If there's nothing in the diary we are both free to go out, and do, either with friends, or to the gym, bike ride, running, allotment (summer). We don't often both stay in of an evening. Go out together maybe once a week, separately several times. Adult DCs at home, they come and go too.

A lot of what we do is only out for a couple of hours though, so that is still quite a lot of evening time at home (neither of us goes to bed till around 11 or later).

I don’t go out socialising but DH goes about once a month to stay at a good friends house and then maybe about 3 times a month with friends. I wouldn’t mind if he went out more but then he never comes home steaming drunk or really late. I think that might bother me if it’s a regular thing.

DH goes out drinking with friends once a week. He also meet a friend for coffee or breakfast etc at a weekend

i occassionally go out with friends for a meal. I tend to socialise more during the day on days off from work.
I also work with people if class as friends so guess I feel like I socialise at work daily whereas DH mostly works alone.
he wouldn’t mind if I went out more regularly but I feel I’ve become a bit of a recluse. Maybe I should make an effort to get out more

One child’s at an age where she can fend for herself the other still requires looking after but she’s 8 so I guess when one of us is out the other isn’t left with massive caring responsibilities

Doesn't sound like he socialises too much at all I'd say that's fair

Neither DH nor I socialise with friends and that suits me. Means he's always around to help with the dcs in the evenings and weekends, we have 2 dcs and it's easier for one adult to do bedtimes with one child each, than for one adult to deal with both kids, and it's nice to eat dinner as a family every night and play games together.

I can be out up to five evenings a week, sometimes none. I sing so can be out rehearsing, performing, as well as socialising. DH will tend to go for a whole day or weekend rather than individual nights. We have different hobbies, different friendship groups. I work on my own and need social company, DH is the complete opposite. We do lots together as a couple and with DS too, although DS is 16 and does his own thing too.