If you ever think this in relation to an autistic child whose mother has disclosed is violent please don’t assume that the violence has been accepted and that no attempt has been made to stop it.
Autistic children who melt down (not all do) do it in different ways. Some may cry and hide, some are bolters, some are violent. It’s not a choice.
My son was violent. It was awful but one of the worst things was other people’s reactions as they blatantly judged my parenting and assumed I was being a lazy mother and not bothering with disciplining my child. At the point of meltdown discipline is futile, as pointless as trying to discipline a child having a seizure.
This would come from fellow parents of autistic children whose children’s meltdowns were not violent, and in those times you’d really hope that they’d have a smidge of empathy, but nope, the worst judgement tended to be from them - “My child is also autistic but I’d never let him/her attack me”. Well lucky old you.
My son is no longer violent. Thankfully he grew out of it. Others aren’t so lucky.
Something happened today that brought it all back, and the fact that as parents of violent children you already have a really difficult life, but people seem so keen to stick the boot in and make sure you know how crap you are.
In the spirit of Christmas and love and kindness and all those warm and fluffy things I thought I’d share this, and maybe some will remember this and not ruin another mother’s day by suggesting her parenting is not up to par.