Stuck in a job I hate

[LondonSnog]

I'm in my mid 30s and have wanted to progress my career for some time. I've outgrown my job and have wanted to move up the ladder for ages. I'm so bored and fed up at work.

A couple of years ago, I decided to stay put in my role whilst TTC first baby in case I got pregnant (something I now bitterly regret). Unfortunately, we struggled to conceive for a long time whilst staying in my job and I did eventually get pregnant.

I am still on maternity leave and due to return to work in February. However, I've unexpectedly found myself pregnant AGAIN with second baby. I am delighted to be pregnant again and appreciate how lucky I am.

However, by the time I am able to leave my boring, tedious job, I'll have been in this role YEARS too long.

I'm seeing so many much younger and childfree colleagues progressing onto new things with better pay and opportunities, whilst I feel so stuck because of TTC, pregnancy and maternity leave.

My DS is amazing and I love being his mum and I'm sure I'll feel the same about this new baby.

I've decided to do some courses whilst on my next maternity leave (if I can find the time with 2 small children), but I'm dreading having to tread water for even longer. It feels like I'll never be able to escape my job and I'll get even further behind.

I don't want to appear ungrateful, as I know how lucky I am to have a child and give him a sibling, but my career has really gone down the pan. My children will always come before any career, but I still want to feel that sense of pride and achievement from my work.

I know I just have to be patient and wait it out, but can anybody relate or give any words of wisdom to help me ride this out and help stop me obsessing about how crap my career has become and how stuck I feel?

Two things stand out to me from your post. The first is that you are comparing yourself with other people. The second is that you see career success as being primarily about climbing higher up a hierarchy.

Why not use your time on maternity leave to plan a radical career change, based in the first instance on doing something that would fulfil you? If you can afford to, you could do some or all of: talking to a careers adviser, finding a life coach, learning some new skills, learning something just for the hell of it (see Khan Academy and OpenLearn, both free) or getting further qualifications.

You really don't have to be patient and sit it out (passive). You could change to active and design your own career - found a business, go freelance, go into partnership, target organisations you would like to work for that share your values.

Thank you for your suggestions @IdaGlossop. There are some great ideas there.

Rather than being 'passive' though, I've mentioned there are courses I want to do to upskill during matetnity leave. I want to stay in this career, just not at the level I'm currently at.
My 'waiting it out' refers to not being able to move onto my next job right now, as I would be able to do if I wasn't pregnant. I intend to do courses whilst I'm on leave.

You are absolutely right that I need to stop comparing myself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

@londonsnog Do you mind telling us what your career is? Is your current employer family friendly? Doing courses isn't passive, I know. I perhaps read it carelessly and thought it didn't sound very focused.

No worries @IdaGlossop. I really appreciate your detailed reply. It may be a bit outing to say what my career is, as a few people know my situation in real life.

My current employer is family friendly, yes, which I know is worth a lot. I'm just so bored where I am.

I know it feels like a slog now but this won't be forever.

I've just been on another post saying careers are very long these days. Whilst it feels like people are overtaking you, you will catch up. This happened to me and now my kids are a bit older (late primary), I'm back with, and ahead of some of my peers that I worried when I saw progress when I was on mat leave. There is never really an ideal time to take mat leave, you're doing what you can to keep up.

What is more likely to slow progression opportunities is going very part time in some orgs/professions. In mine it's not impossible but harder to get promotional part time roles so consider carefully when you return how important climbing the ladder is. And there is no right or wrong answer!

Thank you @Toomuch2019. It's reassuring to hear you were in a similar situation and it all worked out.

I was already more than ready to move on from my job when I got pregnant with DC1, so it feels like a long time to wait with another pregnancy and maternity leave to get through.
You're right that there is no perfect time career wise to have a baby/babies.

I think I will focus on enjoying my babies and spend my maternity leave upskilling, so that I've got the best chance of moving on when my second maternity leave finishes.

At the end of my life, my children will be more important than any career progression. I need to keep reminding myself of this.

Thank you again for your replies @IdaGlossop and @Toomuch2019.