Socialising when DC were younger. How easy it was !

[myfluffyslippers]

I used to be involved with DC school events a lot. Summer fair was a big one and always fun to set up/pack away with laughs with the other parents. Likewise other (mostly summer!) School related events. This was my Saturdays and I really enjoyed it. My friends were other mums doing the same thing with me. Local and fun. Dc are now a lot older and there are no school events. Now my friends want shopping days at the weekends. Urgh. Not my thing.

I miss those school times so much. Socialising no longer seems as easy going and feels more effort. So much effort.

Just to give you another perspective, I find it incredibly pressuring and tedious the expectation of socialising with your child’s class parents or helping at school fetes
etc. It's so obvious that some people are using it to get their whole social kicks, and what that does to others is create an expectation that we will all be there for everything and take it all seriously and be really invested. Which is a burden to be honest. It's nice to help out at the odd fete and if you meet someone you genuinely like among your parent cohort, that's nice. But really I look at everyone being focused on school stuff and think "Where are your own friends in your own life?" School isn't a social thing for me, it's like going to the supermarket. important for the children and you can't avoid it but it's not really a part of my life.

Having said that of course I commiserate with you that you have lost an easy and lovely group! It feels rubbish. Hope you find other ways to socialise soon. x

If you made friends during those times, where are those friends now ? I find it hard to believe that from all these friends, the only thing any of them want to do is go shopping.

Also, just how many fetes did your dcs' school have ? How can it be "my Saturdays" ? Surely there wouldn't be more than one at Christmas and one in the Summer ?

Socialising no longer seems as easy going and feels more effort. So much effort.

I think most people would think setting up , working at, then clearing away a fete was a lot more akin to 'working' than 'just' seeing friends without any work attached.

That sounds like a really nice time in your life.

If that’s your thing, you could volunteer with Girlguiding or Scouts and get the same sort of anctivities and built-in community?

Except it wasn't really anything more than superficial situational relationships. For three years I volunteered in the kitchen at my son's rugby club. Every Sunday I was there cooking bacon sandwiches for the parents and on match days lunches for 40 boys. But as soon as the boys aged out I never saw those people again. I volunteered at the school every week at the second hand uni shop. After my kids left never saw those ladies again either. School discos, fairs - I was involved in the lot.
So I guess it filled a need and I felt included and part of something for those years, but it was all surface. That might be ok for some, and there was always the chance a friendship could grow, but it didn't from any of those activities and I don't miss it.

I agree with @OriginalUsername2 though that, if that is how you enjoy socialising, then there are so many ways you could volunteer, to mix with whole bunches of new people.