You know you've been on Mumsnet too long when...

[WhatIfWhatIf]

... your six year old comes out with the line, 'Mummy, did you mean to be so rude?'

(In my defence, I wasn't actually rude, just chivvying with a little more enthusiasm than usual, which they were clearly not impressed by!)

When you diagnose everyone you meet with some sort of ND

When you think “ What would AnyFucker say about this?”

Yes to this one!

When you tell someone to “pull on their big girls pants”, or tell them “this isn’t my first rodeo.”

When you have a problem, or even are vaguely wondering about something, and then a thread about the same thing pops up on Mumsnet.

When I wonder whether I'm being judged for:
People removing their shoes in my home
My son (6) having thr box room
Having a 4 x 4
Having one DS in private school and one DS in state

And in what year my future husband will become an emotionally or financially abusive cheating scumbag.

When you find yourself saying "that doesn't work for me" to everything.

Incidentally, sorry to derail, but I have NEVER seen anyone EVER browsing MN on their phone, although I do use the app so maybe don't recognise the web version... anyone else?

I only browse on my phone but stop as soon as I'm in public 🤣 it's like my guilty sinful secret.

I told my partner earlier to let me know how it goes and he said sure hunny I will. Weird

Sometimes you know it’s bollocks because it has happened to you, and lots of other people, actually it’s a tale as old as time. And no real person has ever responded to it happening like the OP. Especially over several threads.

You say “not my circus no my monkeys’…but I LOVE saying it

When you still feel scarred by that one slightly ill advised AIBU you wrote at a vulnerable point in your life and everyone PILED on so now you mostly just lurk and think of responses in your head.