To feel sad I’ve no friends at work?

[BearBuggy]

Been here 15 years and had a good friend for a few years that we would grab coffee or lunch. She left nearly 10 years ago. Now lives abroad. We are a small team of 10. I get along with everyone but don’t seem to have clicked with anyone on a personal level.

Again, lots of little groups going out for a pre Christmas lunch and I feel so isolated. In the past I had friends that worked in different departments but with wfh they are never in the office these days.

Does anyone else not have friends at work? Feeling a bit blah today about it :(

do you have friends outside of work?

I dont have any friends at work but I dont feel isolated or anything. I very much see work as work and my friends outside of work.

I didn't have friends at work. TBH I wouldn't want friends at work. It can get complicated quickly.

If you want to go out for coffee or a meal with a group, just ask them if they'd like to go out for lunch. Or bring in a pizza and share it.

I had no friends at work for 10 years or so. I realised during lockdown I didn't even have anyone's personal phone number. Then some nice women my age joined the staff and the whole vibe changed. I'm friends with some of the men now too. It's probably them not you! I hope you'll find a work friend at some stage. On the other hand it can be easier to get on with working if it's purely professional relationships

I do have friends outside of work. It’s not the same though. Chat this afternoon will be about where they were and sharing stories. I’ve also noticed that at meetings etc there have been decisions made that I’ve had no idea about.
I assume discussed at lunches. It’s very difficult at meetings to join in chat as I’m obviously out the loop.

You should be kept in the loop. Speak up and advise you’re not aware of the background or decision and would like an update and a chance to have input!

Perhaps it's time to leave.

We had cliques at work which makes all socialising hard and I can't see the point if the same people insist on sitting with the same people.
I also found out the two people I'm closest too go out for meals occasionally without me.
I've started to reflect recently that I'm not in an environment that totally suits me but I do love my job and over all everyone does get on.

i have 2 friends that i met through work and after 15 or so years consider tem people i trust outside work. one I never directly worked with and the other i did.
However, I am friendly with pthers at work but its in the sense of situational friendship. I dont have many friends, I would like to make more but i am a cutely aware that most people will always be just colleagues and alright with that.

I think making friends at work is tricky.

I have worked in a couple of organisations where I enjoyed socialising with colleagues outside work and genuinely enjoyed working with them.

But I have also had many more experiences in other workplaces where people where back-stabbing & two-face and could not be trusted in any way.

So now I tend to see my distance and not share anything personal.

I really don't like my current organisation (toxic all around with lots of politics) and have nothing in common with any of my team members so I am happy to only have very superficial contact with them.

I am planning to leave this job this year and the fact that I feel like I don't belong is a factor.

I try to avoid having friends at work as it gets tricky. In working at the same place for 10 years I have 2 people I'd call friends - one has since left but we hang out so I have one friend left. And I like it that way!

If you're being left out of work conversations though that's an entirely different thing and really inappropriate.

I get on with most at my work but would I keep in contact if I left? Prob only with one or two, and that person left and came back so know we would keep touch. I work from home, been there 17 years, I don't feel the need to have a best bud at work, I don't go to work to make friends, just to be able to pay my bills. If you find yourself lunching alone, do something else, I used to go for a walk, great for your health too. Best of getting friends from hobbies then you have something in common and won't talk about with all the time

I worked for a company for a number of years, I was very close with one colleague. We would have lunch together, text all the time, birthday/Christmas presents, meet outside of work occasionally. When I left the company, I thought we would stay in touch as we were so close. I haven't seen them since and hear from them very infrequently.
Personally, I'd rather have real friends than "work" friends. As long as they're not excluding you from anything relevant to your job, then its all good. Just say morning/evening and smile sweetly. Keep yourself to yourself and don't get overly emotionally invested in what they're doing