Worried about DS becoming disprutive

[Pleasedontputthatthere]

Hi, my DS is 11, in yr7 at school and is diagnosed as severely dyslexic, he also has ADHD. He currently has a reading age of 7 and his spelling and writing is at age six, so he has a severe LD. We got an EHCP for him at the end of primary and he is at one of the best state schools for children with SEN in the area. There have been a few teething problems with school, mostly with teachers expecting more from him than he is capable of due to the way he speaks (he is very clever and eloquent so he easily hoodwinks people into thinking he is capable overall). He struggles socially and doesn't have any friends, he wants to hang around the 'cool' kids who generally take the piss out of him but it just rolls off his back (this is heart breaking for me but he says he doesn't care).
His EHCP allows for a 1 to 1 TA for lessons with lots of writing (maths, English, history, geography). School have agreed that he doesn't need to attend French so he has extra intervention during those lessons. He also leave school early once a week (missing art which he is terrible at) to attend a private tutor which I pay for. He is really keen to be able to read on a functional level because he finds it embarrassing.
He is also his own worst enemy, he will give up before even attempting some things, if there is a shortcut he will take it (sometimes good) and often he can be lazy. I fully understand that he finds school exhausting so when he gets home we have a very low demand parenting style, he does next to nothing for himself.
Recently, in the last couple of weeks, I have been seeing in his planner that he is refusing to do work. His science teacher called me and said verbally he is very clever but if asked to write anything at all, DS was just refusing, even when the words he needed to write were on the white board in front of him.
I approached this with Ds and he didn't deny it, this was surprising in itself as he is usually defensive. He then seemed to turn it around in science but it is still happening in other lessons. I have arranged to attend school with his TA and the two SENCO leads after the Xmas break to discuss.
However, since then DS has been saying that he may as well just be a naughty boy as they get treats all the time and they can do what they want. I asked him how that was going to work out at home for him and he said 'naughty boys' kids parents' don't care what they do', I pointed out that I very much cared what he does. Part of this appears to be the fact that he hasn't won the 'top 100' prize that last two times (top 100 kids from each year group get a treat, watch a film etc). However, he certainly hasn't deserved it this term when he has been refusing to work.
He has an answer for everything I say to him but I am really concerned that he will just give up and start being disruptive so he is sent out of class. What else can I do/say to help keep him going. He only just began his school journey!
Sorry for War and Peace and thank you for any help at all.

Nothing useful to add, sorry, but I worry my 10 year old will be the same at secondary. He is also dyslexic, and waiting for adhd and ASD assessments. He can read at a 9 year old level but writes at a 6 year old level. He struggles so much with writing and avoids it as much as he can. He gets a lot of 1:1 help with it now but my older son is at secondary and I know that a) a lot of writing will be expected in every class, and b) there isn't much help available at all for very dyslexic but otherwise intelligent kids. He might get put into the SEN base at secondary, but I really don't want that as it's designed for kids who are years behind in everything and won't be able to take Nat 5s etc - they basically do primary level work. We are in Scotland so no ECHP.

Hopefully someone will be along with a positive story for us.

Thanks Shelf, I didn't know that there wasn't an EHCP equivalent in Scotland, that seems really unfair. As you say, hopefully somebody will be along with some advice. It must be fairly common in boys especially.

Has been assessed by an occupational therapist (OT) to problem-solve the issues he's having in class?

Even if he was assessed by one as part of the EHCP process in primary, it's worth going back now he's in secondary as obviously many things are different in secondary. Ditto re the Ed Psych.

DS's has ADHD and ASD (among other things) and his teachers used to comment that when he typed his work using a laptop in class as opposed to struggling to handwrite it, it was like a different child had written it as he was able to concentrate on thinking about his answers rather than the torturous struggle of writing.

It might be worth looking into whether he can get either audio versions of the textbooks (e.g. the DAISY format or similar) or if he can get pdf copies of the books and use a text to speech app so they can be read out to him while he is reading along, to both support his reading and to ensure his reading struggles don't unnecessarily hamper him in other subjects.

Thanks Long, he has recently had an OT report, annoyingly before this all started but that was a primary school referral so I can look at that again. Thanks also for the other suggestions, I will look at these.