How can I stop feeling so flat? Feel bored yet can’t be arsed to do anything.

[Schoodle]

It’s been quite a stressful year - DS started uni but is finding it really hard so he is quite down. He has autism and social anxiety and spends most of his time on his own, and massively struggles with motivation so it’s been a real battle to try to support him in getting help from the uni, etc. He’s back home for Christmas but is just in bed most of the time. DD is at school and is happy enough but gets really anxious and we have to go through a checking process/list of worries every night. DH has given up a job which he hated, but thought he’d easily get another one and hasn’t yet, so I’m also stressing about that.

I’ve actually just finished work until after Christmas so I should be feeling relaxed but I just feel really down. I sort of want to rest but I get really bored just sitting around the house. I’m also feeling annoyed about everyone being in the house all the time, and getting cross about stupid things like DH sniffing.

There are loads of things that need doing around the house but I can’t be bothered to start them. Also some are big jobs that will cost money so I don’t want to do that until we know DH has a job. It’s my birthday next week as well but I haven’t planned anything, but it feels a bit miserable if I don’t do anything. I do have a couple of quiet nights out with friends planned but I’m not really feeling like going. I’ve not planned anything with the DC as it’s so difficult to find anything they both like doing - but if I don’t then they’ll spend the whole Christmas holiday in their rooms.

I’m perimenopausal which doesn’t help - I’m in the process of trying to get the right dose of HRT combined with antidepressants. I’ve been on a very low dose of escitalopram for years and this has kept me on an even keel, but the doctor had upped it to a slightly higher dose. Not sure how soon I should see any difference.

Sorry that’s a depressing read!

It's been a stressful year, give yourself a break. Life can be hard sometimes.

Maybe you genuinely need some down time?

They can take a while to kick in. Take today off and make a plan of things to tackle, slowly at first. I'm a fine one to talk, I have deadlines but I'll do one thing tonight then get around to the rest :)

I'm feeling very B'ah Humbug this year too, my Christmas spirit just doesn't seem to have arrived.

Can you get out and about on your own, find some local attractions, download a good podcast and go ambling around some old house and a light trail if no one else wants to go

I was going to ask if you were perimenopausal then I saw you were. I feel this is a big part of it (along with all the life stresses that come along in your late 40s). I don't really know the answer I'm afraid. I'm 50 and have felt flat for a few years. I'm not unhappy, I'm quite content - but I do feel like all my emotions have been flattened and I definitely lack get up go. I just can't be bothered a lot of the time.
Things that help me feel better are eating well, getting my 10,000 steps each day (this really lifts my spirits and energises me a little), reading a good book, watching a good drama, seeing friends (but not too often as I can't be arsed!).
I think actually starting the jobs that need doing give you motivation to get other jobs started. We also have loads of jobs to do in the house and I've been procrastinating for years. However, recently I've made a start. I sorted out the problem with the electrics. I hung some pictures that have been sitting there for over a year. It doesn't sound like much but now I want to get on with the other jobs.

Thanks all, I think I will definitely try to do one small task tomorrow and see if that helps kick start things a bit.

I think part of my problem is that with having two DC who have both been struggling, I've been in constant 'trying to help them find solutions' mode, and I'm struggling to switch off from it. I was trying to talk to DH today about how worried I am about DS and he just said he'll be fine🤔But I feel as though I should be doing more to help him. Although I don't know what I can actually do to help so I feel a bit paralysed.

I think I need to try and work out what I actually enjoy doing as well. At the minute the only thing I look forward to is food and wine, and I don't want to get into the habit of eating and drinking to try to feel better.