Ideas - alone at Christmas with long covid/chronic fatigue

[BlossomTrees24]

I wondered if the lovely Mumsnet community (especially any of you who understand long covid/chronic fatigue/ME) could give a couple of ideas for me to survive Christmas (a few days, not just Christmas Day) on my own.

We've made the decision for me to stay at home (while rest of family visit other family). This wasn't an easy decision and my family would happily stay with me, but I would be bedbound (or occasionally on the sofa) a lot of the time anyway, so we've decided it's probably better (for them & me) if they spend the few days away as was planned.

I just wondered if anyone has any thoughts on how I can make it not too awful? Since covid, I'm housebound (and have been for 18 months). DH is doing a Sainsbury’s shop on Fri for me. Anyone seen any nice things there? I don't have a huge appetite but could be nice to have a few treats.

Has anyone else got experience of this? I'm very grateful that this will be the first time I've been on my own at Christmas (and aware lots of people face every Christmas on their own). But just wondering if there's anything I can put in place now to make those days bearable?

Also, I might not read any responses today. A friend has typed this for me, as it is too exhausting to type or read lots. (My life has changed so much - I was a deputy headteacher before covid!)

I'm sorry to read about your fatigue and how your life has changed.
I can only help in that I went to a big Sainsbury's yesterday and they had lots of lovely looking festive "party food" on offer. All of it freezable. So it could be nice and relatively easy for you to pop a few different things on a tray in the oven?

I like the Sainsbury's Taste the Difference ready meals. Things like cottage pie, shepherds pie or moussaka. They are meaty enough and there's no gristle. Must be TTD though. It's probably what DH and I will have on Xmas day as we've already had two traditional Xmas dinners.

Things like crackers with a nice bit of Stilton or pate would be super easy to do.

If your hands are weak avoid sauces and soups in plastic containers with lids you have to lever off, those things are evil! Doubly evil really, because often they are the more interesting recipes. Still, cartons of ready made soup eg New Covent Garden brand are easy and filling enough for a meal.

As you can see, I'm not mad about festive food. The important thing is to choose things you will think are an easy treat. So if that's Chinese chicken wings for Xmas lunch, go for it.

I'm also alone for Christmas and have gone for a cheese bake from the supermarket
Going to have some chorizo and Parma ham selection with it plus some part baked bread and pickles

Sorry to hear you're so unwell.

On food I'd remind your husband to get normal stuff as well as treats. He might be tempted to go just for treaty stuff but then everything ends up being rich and you find yourself craving a carrot or an apple.

Pick out some films you fancy and get them downloaded (or whatever) so they are just sitting there waiting and you don't have to choose and faff about with passwords etc.

Sympathies, as a fellow sufferer here. The answers really depend on your energy levels.

Do you have pets? I'd definitely make the most of snuggle time with them.

Heated blanket? Great for the sofa. Lots of Christmas films? Do you have some trashy christmas novels? Audible or similar might work. I've been listening to old Radio 4 Christmas plays - lots on the iplayer.

Local churches streaming services? Might be nice?

I'd keep in touch with family as much as possible, having a facetime call or similar for present opening or key moments. If they see you are having a festive snack as well, or wearing a festive jumper, it will help with their inevitable guilt too.

Agreed, get some ready meals in that you like and also plenty of picky bits (both healthy and unhealthy!).
Then queue up some tv on whatever service you have so you dont have to struggle to find things later.
Also dont put too much expectation on yourself to be festive and happy. It doesnt have to be 'special' if you arent up for it, just look after yourself and stay in touch with your family.

Sorry to hear that covid bitchslapped you so badly.🙁Its horrible to be ill at times like this. I remember having covid badly right at the start (most terrified I've ever been) and it was during my birthday as well. I was so depressed but my wonderful best friend cheered me up by bringing round a cupcake and a balloon, bless her!😄

Oh bless you OP. This is so hard. Completely get it. May I suggest making a playlist of videos to watch for soothing things like tapping to do, or lovely calming things to listen to and some mindless tv series to watch. Keep your good options as healthy as possible and have a whole load of the recommended vitamins to take. This isn’t traditional Christmas, look forward the new year and better health instead hopefully.
Try to keep your phone by you for texting or sending a voice note to friends and family when you get the energy to do it.

You have my deepest sympathy. I've just had a horrific flu but I was far more terrified of getting post-viral fatigue as last time I had it for three years. (Tried to push through instead of rest - serious mistake.)

You are doing the right thing.

I would:

Get a pile of fresh clean PJs, socks, underwear and loungewear ready in advance. Clean dressing gown, bathrobe, towels and facecloths too. Get DH to help you change the bedding before he leaves.

If you haven't already, stock up on Vitamin D spray, B12, iron and any other vitamins you might be low on. Also something like Actimel and keffir yoghurt to try and rebalance the gut bio.

Get some good quality ready meals and low-prep festive food (good cheese and crackers, easy peel clementines, smoked salmon and cream cheese with bagels. Also your favourite teas, tisanes, coffee, hot chocolate etc. And some bamboo plates and wooden cutlery.

Before they leave, ask DH to get a big bunch of really cheerful flowers or a colourful plant or two and place them with some candles in spots around the house that often catch your eye. Maybe ask DC to put up some fairy lights for you.

Get some very luxurious bath products - maybe as Christmas presents form DH or family.

Get a pretty water jug and glass and put them by your bed. Maybe a tea tray and mini kettle in your bedroom.

Stock up on easy to read good books on your kindle or audible or paperback.
Set to record half a dozen films, comedies etc you'd like to watch.

Buy some bird nuts or seed.

Then each day just let yourself sleep late. When you get up, if you can manage a bath or shower at some point do, then change PJs and just watch a film or read or listen to a book. Snack on the healthy food. No washing up - chuck the bamboo plates away.

Throw out some bird seed so you can watch the wildlife for some company and also if the weather is mild, sit by an open window or kitchen door. When I was too shattered to leave the house I loved getting fresh air this way.

There are some nice super gentle online yoga exercises for bedbound people - those might be nice to try.

Zoom calls with family every day if you can. Otherwise, focus on getting better.
If you can manage a very gentle walk - just to the end of the road and back, do that. Or sit in the garden for some vitamin D.

Let these 5 days be a proper restorative convalescence in which you do no laundry, cooking, housework, but still have fresh clean clothes and bedding, good food, uplifting entertainment.

Lovely ideas on here!

Do Sainsbury's do any of the Chinese box meals, OP? When I was last alone at Christmas, I bought a M&S Chinese box meal. The beauty of that was there are multiple dishes in little plastic pots so you can mix and match, bung a couple of dishes in the oven or microwave and eke the rest out over a couple of days if needed.

Love these ideas!

ME sufferer here and I’ve had a lot of very solitary Christmases when I’ve been too poorly to see family.

Shift focus from what you’re missing, to what you’re gaining: peace and quiet, able to rest / drop off whenever you need to, time to just be in touch with yourself (not much compensation I know, when you’re yearning to be with your loved ones, but withdrawal is sometimes necessary for recovery)

Think of yourself as still deserving treats, and get them in in advance. Whatever you can handle, with your symptoms.

Build each day round doing something nice, however small that is. It might just be as low key as a freshen up and then lying in bed with a favourite radio programme. Or if you can, watching TV or a film.

Talking books are your friend at times like these - especially those with a good narrator. Happy to supply a list of some I’d recommend.

Brilliant ideas. I love the suggestions of heated blankets and streamed Christmas services.

As someone who has had chronic fatigue for over 20 years, please stop calling it long covid! It is nothing to do with Covid and has been around loooooong before Covid ever existed.
Yes, a lot of CFS cases are post viral (or post trauma) but that does not make it long covid! It means you now have CFS as a result of COVID.

I'm sick to death of having people saying "Oh you mean you have long covid?" Followed by an eye roll.
No! I've had 26 years of HELL! Being unable to stay awake more than 3 hours at a time, missing family events, losing my entire career & missing 60% of my child's day to day life.

Meanwhile, I highly recommend keeping up with this study (I donated my DNA to them a year or so ago. It’s the biggest government-funded study into the cause/s of ME and they expect to have some kind of result next year with any luck). I recommend signing up to their newsletter as they don’t spam, only give occasional updates and info on when their Zoom video updates will take place. http://decodeme.org.uk/

There's always the Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special at 9pm to look forward to if you're into that? A fun, easy watch usually!

A pile of nice Christmas books? (If you feel able to read)

Can your family make the room you will be in look lovely and Christmassy before you go?

Maybe reframe it as rest time rather than Christmas. Just focus on real peaceful rest

Have bottled water/cartons of drink, grapes, bananas and some complain type meal substitute drinks in your room so that if you feel rough and not even up to reheating a ready meal then you have something to hand to keep sipping and to keep your strength up until you feel well enough for something more substantial.
Sympathy. We have a family member in a similar position.

This is not very helpful. My GP has given me a diagnosis of long covid (or post-covid syndrome). That's on my health record. I cannot get a diagnosis of CFS without going down a different clinical pathway/clinic (which I am too tired for).

Don't shout at patients for problems with the medical/clinical system.

Get the computer / phone set up / for Face Time / so you can share time with them, albeit virtually, so you can be included in chat where able

Sympathies.

I had a Christmas unwell and alone.
Ensure your DP stocks up on nibbley treats and lovely soft drinks.

Get:
jigsaw
puzzle books
download a good game on your phonegood books,
some of those foot sock masks to have super soft feet for the day!
Do Wordle and other such wordy games.

Get new PJ'S for your Christmas Day of rest.

And be kind to yourself. It's 1 day and it's OK to be resting.

Can you do a zoom/teams mtg online early with family (or would that be too emotional)

Plan your TV and radio listening.

I’m sure that’s just what the OP needs to hear right now. Some of us have a diagnosis of Long Covid, so take your rant elsewhere.

OP, I’m sorry you’re so unwell. You’ve had some great suggestions & I hope you have a restful, peaceful Christmas. I’ve had Long Covid for over 2.5 years, but am starting to see improvements now, so I just wanted to say don’t give up hope. I’ve been finding daily breathing exercises & meditation very helpful.

Having had a post viral thing for 6 months when I was in my 20s, I would just remind you not to be overly ambitious. What does your DH/other members of the household do for you on a daily basis that you are now used to but will have to do yourself and use precious energy doing that. For example, do you have pets and, if so, will you be responsible for feeding them or can a neighbour come in and do them? Does anyone normally bring you fresh water? Or cups of tea? Do you need to think about the set up of what you can easily reach whilst staying in bed? Some fruit? Some fruit? Some snacks? Some drinks in sports bottle caps? Perhaps a kettle and things in your room?
Also, make sure the bathroom is fully stocked with loo roll and all of those sorts of things so you don't need to traipse around the house to get those.

Hi OP, as others have said it will depend on your energy levels but audio books and comfy movies you've seen before and can drift in and out of.
You might also want to ask your friend to pre write you some messages to send to family etc so that you keep in touch with minimal effort.
Also as a couple of others have said hang in there. I'm 4+ years with long covid and had around 12 months of being housebound but am now able to work part time from home and participate in family life as long as I manage my energy levels. Oxygen therapy and acupuncture gave me back my life so I recommend them; even though the initial logistics and effort cost a lot it soon pays off.

Please can we support each other CFS or long covid we are all in the same shitty boat and just trying to get through Christmas.