Introduced new girlfriend

[Thingymajigii]

I have had a really tough few days with a sick child and working, lack of sleep, etc and really just need to share this as I feel really quite upset.

I split up with my abusive ex (physical, emotional, financial) 8 years ago when my children were little. He does the bare minimum and pays the bare minimum. Both of us have new relationships but agreed not to introduce them for some time. Mine is 18 months in and I am not ready to introduce and his is around 4 months.

Tonight my son who has asthma became quite ill so we decided that he would take our youngest to a school event at the local church (which we were all meant to go to) and the eldest would stay at home with me. Whilst they were at the church my eldest became very ill - oxygen levels suddenly dropped into the 80's and he was struggling to breathe so I decided to take him to A&E and left a key for the ex and texted to say what had happened.

We get to A&E and hear nothing from him until later when I get a call to say that his girlfriend is with him and my youngest and they're at Mcdonalds. I'm not greatly impressed but stay calm so I ask him to take our son home as it was late and asked him to stay with him until we get back from the hospital whenever this may be. At no point does he ask if our eldest son is ok. my eldest is on a nebuliser by now and starting to pick up. The night drags on and it gets later and later so I call and ask what is happening. He decides that it is best that our son stays at his flat with with him and his girlfriend. Bearing in mind, he only has a one bed flat and one bed. I asked him why the girlfriend is staying over given the circumstances (our children have never seen us in bed with anyone. They also might be kissing and holding hands - they have never seen us do this with anyone before) as she could have easily driven home and come back any other day as he only has them twice a week in the evening.

I just can't get my head around how they both thought this was a good idea - they're in their 40's and she has children herself (teens)

I'm just so sad that I am tied to this idiot of a man and seems like he's found himself a similar level of idiot to partner up with. I would have said don't worry, I'll come back another day - it just seems so utterly selfish and irresponsible to put their needs before our sons.

Put simply he hasn't thought of it in those terms. As far as he's concerned he was spending time with the gf then unexpectedly had to look after one of his children. I hope your son is okay - what a worrying thing to go through. After this is over and there's a bit a distance time-wise I would broach this with your ex, but not now while emotions are heightened and you're worrying about your child in hospital and sleep deprived.

It's not something I would do but it's not the end of the world, and not worth arguing over.

Kindly, I think you're overthinking it with your comment about them possibly holding hands and kissing. The main issue in my mind would be where your son would be sleeping if there are three people staying in a one bed flat.

Well he's not asked after his eldest son which is mind boggling but in terms of care for the youngest I don't see what he's really done wrong. He took the child to McDonald's as a treat as he was probably upset, I'd send the gf home but you're not there, she may be helping distract him a bit, am sure a night on the sofa won't hurt him 🤷‍♀️ hope your oldest son is ok x

Thank you all for your kind messages.
We had an ok night and my eldest is picking up this morning and doing much better.
My youngest is home now. He said he enjoyed playing charades with them and he slept in bed with daddy and she slept on a blow up mattress in the living room. Seems a bit daft to me when she could have driven home as she only lives 30 mins away, but anyway..
The main thing is that everyone is ok and no harm done by the sounds of it.