Tell me about your autistic Christmas

[Axalotl]

Ds1 already knows several of the presents he is getting.
Santa is coming 24h early.
Minimal family visits - just a few hours at mum's on Christmas day.

I'm looking forward to it this year. Hoping we have the right balance to keep the stress to a minimum

Im at home this yewr ao less need to be concerned but still have a very clear timetable of activities, and alternative activities should likely situations arise.

When we go elsewhere its clear timetable, lots of escape time, flare ear defenders, predictably with presents and food. Easy ways to signal to my husband that I need to escape.

Only suspected autism over here with young DC, but nearly all letter / number / shape related, because, hyperlexia. Pretty sure they still don’t understand presents / Christmas yet, but that’s ok. Definitely not making a big deal of present opening, definitely not singing at any point just lots of chilled out family time.

Well we haven't decorated as DD finds it too cluttered which hasn't helped me feeling all Bah Humbug this year. WFH I'm completely missing my Christmas spirit.

DD goes to her dad's from Christmas eve to boxing day - that's fine she's a teen and has a toddler sibling there and I've encouraged it as I think Christmas is more fun with a tot but she hasn't told him she's autistic and won't be and will mask the whole time.

Which will mean she's in a crappy mood for several days afterwards. She only sees him for Sunday normally so it feels a bit rubbish they get the fun and happy her and my family who are there for her the rest of the year deal with the fall out. 2 years ago she shutdown for 3 days afterwards and wouldn't utter a word.

Present wise she knows her main one, largely because I can't keep my mouth shut. We stopped opening them one at a time ages ago as she hates the pressure to perform so everyone is given one present and opens it at the same time.

DS14 has been curating his Xmas list since last January. He knows absolutely every gift. He is having 32 DVDs.

Two years ago he woke up at 1am, opened all his presents, built all his lego and went back to bed. He filmed himself so we didn't miss seeing it. 😂

He is having aldi basic pizza for Xmas dinner.

Well I don't have a choice even though my teens husband mum and siblings know I'm autistic they seem to think I can act and feel exactly the same as them.

I'm an adult now but when I was younger

• we'd run through what we were going to have for food on each day, I didn't have to have what everyone else was having if it was something like Christmas pudding or trifle for example
• ketchup/other condiments allowed during christmas dinner (otherwise I would eat nothing back then)
• wasn't expected to perform/act emotions
• I knew what my main present was in advance to reduce overwhelm etc
• If I wanted to stop and play with christmas gifts during when everyone unwraps, no problem (can always go back to that whenever)
• didn't have to have photo taken or be video recorded if I didn't want be
• Christmas tree lights on still setting not the flashing one

All as normal.

New Christmas Eve pyjamas.

Christmas stocking to be opened without me (or anyone) looking at him.

His brother may be allowed in his room for a 5 minute manly chat.

Normal roast dinner at 1pm.

99% sure that he will not join me in popping it to see other relations later in the afternoon. But the 1% window will be kept open until about 4pm!

And I shall take him to the football on Boxing Day. All focus is on that at the moment. It is a pivotal away match, a local derby and we are second in the league. I am astonished that I know all those details, to be fair.

Just me, dh and two young adult children. I work part of the day. Dh cooks the lunch. We don't have a TV, but dh puts carols on whilst he's cooking. I just do my usual tasks looking after the pets and tidying up. I pretty much tolerate Christmas until it's over. I'm happy once January is here and it's a normal routine again. At least we don't have dozens of relatives to please.

Very quiet Christmas here, jacket potatoes with cheese for tea for dd, pasta and cheese for ds, and plain basic pizza for eldest son. Lots of arts and crafts planned as they all love colouring and organising pens! Keeping the routine pretty much the same as much as possible and a trip to the usual park will no doubt happen too. No flashing lights as eldest dd cannot cope with them at all and will be struggling with the 2 youngest off school. ( 4 asd kids, 2 also adhd, so at least I'm on the same page with all of them) hope you all have a lovely Christmas 🎄

No decorations or tree.
No advent calendars.
No christmas cards up.
Fish fingers for Christmas Dinner as it's Wednesday and that's what they always have on Wednesday.
No visitors or visiting anyone.
All presents have been inspected thoroughly to make sure they're right and then wrapped.
Routine stuck to rigidly same as every other day.

How does your teen insist that your ExH doesn't decorate his house for Christmas then if he doesn't know she's autistic?

Surely their house will be full of decorations etc for their toddler, which presumably she tolerates?

Yep, but she doesn't live there and it isn't 'her' space any more than school or a friend's house is.

We don't open presents here anyway, we go to my parents which is also decorated, it's just our home that is normal and after several panic attacks and tearful moments in the last few weeks as she's out of kilter it's not worth upsetting her over some lights.

No Christmas.
We go away tomorrow 🌞 and miss the whole thing 😁

Quiet Christmas here, our year for a small Christmas. Everything exactly where DS1 expects. Stocking in line with standard - as he would expect. He knows what his main present is. This is his last Christmas before he goes off to university so we are mindfully keeping everything the same (even if realistically he is too old for some of it)

Breakfast - bacon sarnies his fav served at his preferred breakfast time 10:00am.

Then full Christmas lunch late afternoon (i add a new item and change an item every year so he isn’t so set in his ways - new item doesn’t always stay).

Only two meals because DS2 (ADHD) has too much todo on Christmas Day and too much nibbles to eat for three.

After dinner they will play board games with me, because i want to and i have run round like a loon for days so they can make time for me.

(DH and DM will also be made to play board games)

4 ASD teenagers here. We will do the same stuff, and eat the same stuff, and watch the same films etc on each day as we've done for time immortal. We'll play Catan, as usual - this might be the year we embrace the change and actually open the expansion pack I bought for Christmas in 2021, rather than just look at it. I have decorated, slowly - however I forgot the DC at uni and she's come back and is not impressed as it's all new and "too much." So that's a few days of grumpiness to look forward to.

We too will play Catan (but with our own rules for the robber as the games ones cause too much stress)

TBH I think DS2 will cope with Christmas better once school has finished on Friday and he can do as little or as much Christmas stuff as he can manage. There have been so many Christmas events at school, with added stress from some folk as he’s year 6, so lots of people getting carried away with “it’s their last ever nativity, Carol service, etc”.

he will likely have mac n cheese for Christmas dinner, and we always eat later at about 5 to give things time to calm after present opening and Lego has been built. we will have to watch at least 1 Home Alone movie and The Goes Wrong Show Christmas special.

normally MIL and SIL drop in on the day for a quick visit. MIL is on holiday for Christmas this year, so will be even quieter for us!

I have used Christmassy fabric (bought from the market) and string instead of wrapping paper for years. I noticed the noise and mess was putting my ds on edge. And me to be honest. We use large fabric Santa sacks for anything big. It's so much less stress and wrapping is easy!

This.

its pretty miserable, no?