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Getting 20 year old daughter to move out

32 replies

pinkkoala · 16/12/2024 11:56

Good morning, really need some advice, my life is being made miserable by my 20 year old daughter, she is affecting my mental health, causing problems in my relationship.
so I live in private rented, my name only on tenancy, I left her dad 7 years ago due to his ways. She hasn’t worked in nearly a year, so no contribution at all to any bills, rent, food etc, her and her boyfriend think they can sit here the minute I go to work, they turn up, then leave 5 mins before I finish my shift, use my facilities, eat whatever is in the house, she won’t even lift a finger to wash her own stuff up or do her washing. She doesn’t want to work, claims benefits but then doesn’t go to job interviews.
she is constantly on my case and asking what I do and follows me round the house to keep poking at me. She caused me and my partner to separate in feb this year while she gets on with her 2 year relationship she is in.
what can I do to get her out and stay out as she is affecting my mental health, I have verbally asked her to leave and also given her written notice, both she laughs in my face, can I ask my landlord to change the locks, at my cost, I really don’t know what I can legally do

OP posts:
ClicketyClickPlusOne · 18/12/2024 05:05

Take the router to work with you.

Can you in anyway lock off access to the boiler / heating controls and turn it all off as you leave for work?

westisbest1982 · 18/12/2024 05:27

She needs to go. Get those locks changed but be very careful when you arrange it - does she have any social life or errands to run or go to his place on specific days / times in the day because you need to get the locksmith round when she’s not there.

A one bedroom flat in the future could be an idea to save money. For now you need to prioritise your mental health.

Petrasings · 18/12/2024 06:27

Op you have given her notice already verbally. You can email her to confirm the conversation and that she now needs to live elsewhere.
She has had plenty of chances.
The doors should be locked. Leave her things at her father’s house and explain you are done and it’s his turn to do some parenting.

You are being bullied and harassed in your own home.

Petrasings · 18/12/2024 06:29

Hopefully once she is living independently she will see how unreasonable she has been and come back to you with some level of respect.

saltysandysea · 18/12/2024 06:29

Does she actually live with you officially? If not no notice is required- you have already given her verbal notice. She does not pay rent & there is no written agreement.

she is a bully though and you need to stand up to her. No one else it seems wants anything to do with her.

get the locks changed when she is out. Put her possessions in a cupboard box outside with written notice on it. If she kicks off call the police - don’t engage with her.

suburberphobe · 17/03/2025 19:33

Send her to her dad's.

Easy to write down but most of dads on MN seem to be useless.

My son's dad fucked off when he was 6 months old. He's 33 now.
I survived. We both did.

You need to read her the riot act now OP.

suburberphobe · 17/03/2025 19:45

Her dad won’t let her go there as in his words, it’s punishment for me because I left him years ago, even though he is happily remarried years ago.

Not that happily then if he's still carrying a grudge towards you. Asshole.

You lot need family therapy, but fuck knows how to get that moving.

You sound beaten down, and I'm so sorry for you.

Can you access some therapy for yourself? You cannot let your adult daughter walk all over you with so much disrespect.

She'll soon find out life is not a bed of roses. Let her get on with it and put yourself first.

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