Do I stay or do I go? (Work and friends)

[UniverseRewardsTheBrave]

Not quite sure what to do here so would welcome some perspective.

I have an opportunity for a promotion, which would require moving many hours from where I live now.

I am currently have a good job but with a number of frustrations (like most jobs I guess). However, I work with an amazing team, a few of whom I consider to be actual friends, as well as a 'best' friend. This is significant because I am single and childless, and also neurodivergent so making friends is not easy for me.

I'm really torn on whether to pursue the promotion or not. Career-wise it's a good step, and my career is important to me. On the other hand, I have friends here and I may never be as 'socially-happy' again. I'm not sure what's more important to me!

All perspective welcome!

Hmm it's tricky. I did this (also single, childless) and I regretted it. Sorry I don't have any actual advice as people around me tried to talk me out of moving and I wouldn't have been persuaded to stay at the time.

I think it depends what kind of job you do and how easy it is to make friends in your work.

But personally, I wouldn't do it if you have no other friends outside of work.

I also have very few friends and am a bit of a loner.

I would go for the new job. Because they are friends for now, and perhaps they will be friends forever. But if they are going to stick then they will stick even if you get a new job. I have held onto jobs for longer than i ought due to people- 4 years longer in one case - and then found out that when i left people gave me no more thought. FWIW- I am 51 and have had many jobs. I have maybe had 1-2 good friends stick with each one- and that's what facebook is for surely. To remain friendly with those you like and then you still keep up properly with those you truly connect with.

Don't hold yourself back because of transitional relationships. How many people from school are you still proper friends with? I'd guess under 5. Do you still want to go back and repeat A-levels endlessly when everyone else moves on?

If you are already earning enough to live comfortably, I'd be inclined to stay put.

I’d move, if they are real friends then you will stay close. Also, what’s to say they won’t move on after you turn down this opportunity?

Oh this is tough.

I've worked with people I've considered best friends in the past, and made career decisions based partly around those relationships.

It was a mistake and I should have looked after myself much more readily than I did.

If they're really friends, you'll keep them in your life. But who is to say you won't also make good friends in the new job?

I did this, 20+ years ago - moved 4 hrs away from my home in a county town to a city. The job bit was easy - different office in the same company where I knew a couple of people to speak to. I also had two close friends nearby (one since moved - to nearer my home town!). It was really really hard work.

I don't regret it at all - I'm still here, loving it. I do miss being so close to parents especially as they get older. My home friends are very spread out so those friendships have changed anyway. Few have visited me or me them, we meet up if we're 'home' at the same time.

All my current 'here' friends are thru work so that's a risk as some lapse as they move/retire (and some continue but that's rarer). Not sure how itll be when I retire. Workwise I have survived some large scale redundancies which I wouldn’t have done had I stayed.

That's a hard one! It's tempting not to rock the boat. But think of it this way. What do your friends want from their careers? You could stay and they move onto other roles in time to come anyway... Change is hard but better to be the one taking it forward than not being in control of it. If you are good friends then you will still have them, you will just have to perhaps work harder to keep in contact rather than just being in close proximity everyday.