I feel old and ugly. How can I help myself ?

[omgomgomgitsagnome]

I'm 51. I constantly ache so much. The lines around my eye have increased. My hair no longer sits as it used to despite the fact I've not changed the style. I went out last night and thought I looked OK but I looked in the bathroom mirror at the restaurant - it was a v bright light - and thought I looked like shit. I hate how I look. I used to look fairly decent. Are my looks fading with age ?

Getting up at 5:30 am is going to age you like mad! Why put that as a target?
The biggest simplest change is your hair we don’t know what it looks like now so we can’t advise but like other people have said low lights high not all over colour

I'm thinking after Christmas I need to:
Significantly cut down on alcohol. Thinking of doing dry Jan & Feb

This will definitely be aging you and making you physically feel like crap. Honestly, I think you’ll find you feel and look so much better once you cut it out. Alcohol after 40, in my experience wreaks havoc on the body, even in fairly small amounts.

I agree. A much better aim would be to get 8 hours sleep a night. If you can get that by 5.30am then fine, but I'd find it really hard to be asleep by 9.30pm every night.

I go to bed around 10ish and fall asleep watching my tablet around midnight or I scroll for hours until midnight.i need to go to sleep around 10ish for a 5.30/6am wake up

All the nice, posh, fancy, expensive face creams in the world aren't going to erase wrinkles. Only Botox or surgery will do that. But for God's sake go to a qualified, very experienced aesthetic doctor - not bloody Lauren at your local beauty salon.

Mulberry silk pillowcases smooth and soften your hair. Not satin, it must be 100% silk.

Lots and lots of water. At least 6 pints per day.

Lose any excess weight you're carrying. I've been on Mounjaro jabs and have lost just over 2 stone, so far (only another 7lbs to go). All my niggly aches and twinges have disappeared and my cheek bones and jaw line have reappeared.

Scrolling on a device won't be helping. All that artificial blue light beaming straight into your eyes before bed is affecting the quality of your sleep.

Put the screens down an hour or more before bed and ban them from you the bedroom. Read a book in bed and wear blue light blocking glasses from sunset.

HRT would be my first suggestion. I have arthritis and HRT has made a huge improvement. Improving your fitness, cutting out booze, good hydration and making sure you get a decent night's sleep also helps. I also take a supplement as I was found to be vitamin d and iron deficient.

I use cheap face cream just slapped on for under make up, i know I should up my game. How do people know what to use and what suits their skin? Is there a one off consultation you can do? I'm not that wrinkly but very puffy especially under the brow / above the eye lid and it's so ugly. I just don't know where to start.

But it is though? You can do something about it - cut out drink, eat healthy, get a new haircut, drink lots of water, get different clothes. It is a luxury many don’t get. She’s allowed to feel rubbish but I think it’s actually good to put it in perspective.

Indeed. I hate that silly platitude.

It’s all about the basics, you don’t need all these expensive lotions and potions.

drink lots of water
get lots of sleep
move your body
eat good food

That doesn’t mean you need to be going to the gym 7 days a week it means getting out in nature and walking.

There are regular ‘princessing’ threads running on the style and beauty boards. It sounds a bit twee but they have been quite helpful to remind me to get into the routine of doing nice self-care sort of things which make me look and feel better - like nails, hair, facial skin care and body exfoliation and skin care etc. why don’t you check some of them out?

My tips -
drink lots of water.
skin care skin care skin care.
spf.
enough sleep!
have nice nails (short nails painted dark red works year round)
tinted moisturiser and eyebrows filled in gently.
spend a bit more on your hair than you have been doing.

Also, about drinking water; you need 1.9 litres of fluid a day (not 6 pints of water! ) which can be tea, or even in food.
I think some of these suggestions would have you in the toilet most of the day!
Ageing isn't a crime or a sin for women. It happens. There's some good advice on here, but rest, moderate exercise, getting out in nature and getting a good night's sleep would help you feel well. You can't turn the clock back, but you can be a good version of yourself, if that makes sense.

Exactly. I agree that healthy lifestyle is really important but menopause really dries out the skin so it needs a little help. I agree that the lotions and potions don't have to be expensive, but your skin will definitely thank you for a bit of extra hydration.

Haha yes I was thinking I already pee about 5 litres a day God knows what I'd be doing if I drank more

Especially 6 pints! 😂

I agree with others about the drinking, it's so bad for us.
But I know it can be hard in this life when booze is everywhere, fun nights out, glamorous, stress relief etc
It's really not.
I know so many shit endings related to drinking. But yeah it will do your skin a world of good giving it up.

I use boots No 7 Restore and renew which is meant for mature skin (I’m 62). It’s pretty affordable and Boots often do 3 for 2 offers. Try the serum followed by moisturiser and then a good light sunscreen. The serum plus night cream at night. I think it’s a good product and used for a few months I think you’ll notice a difference as they contain all the good stuff like hyalaronic acid, peptides etc

good luck 👍