Managing 2 young kids?

[Hye]

So not sure what to put the title. Basically I am just wracked with mum guilt. Feel like I’m always doing something and my days with my kids is small snippets of play activity :(

Bottles, dishes, tidying up some mess, preparing meals, cleaning after those etc

I always ensure I play with my babies and we go out too! They go to nursery 3 days (10mo and 3yo )

it felt slightly easier when my youngest napped more and was immobile happy on a play mat haha! But now he’s crawling into everything

i I feel like they’re at very different stages so trying to sit and spend time together one goes the other way? I know next year they’ll play together a bit so my guilt will lessen when doing jobs

but how do I stop this guilt? It’s rational that dishes need to be done so they can drink and eat from clean cups/bottles and plates etc, washing needs to be put on for clothes etc. but I feel guilty that I’m all over the place feel like I constantly have jobs to do am I a bad mum

@Hye it sounds like a lot of the domestic responsibilities are falling on your shoulders. The tasks you mentioned are all must-do for the reasons that you mentioned, but also probably for the sake of your own sanity too (I know I really struggle surrounded by mess).

You absolutely have nothing to feel guilty about, but that's usually a by-product of a) wanting to be the best mum you can be and trying to do everything for everyone or b) the societal expectations placed upon women to be fit everything in to 24 hours and meet every possible need or family members may have. Either way, they're unrealistic and not possible.

Play is all about leaning through fun and no doubt the children are learning just from observing you do all that you do. It isn't necessary to participate in active play with your children each day to ensure good development - they will play with or without you and a level of independent activity will be beneficial for them too.

If it helps, how I play with my 3 year old is often me simply clearing up after her. I've stopped feeling guilty about it by accepting that I don't function well surrounded by clutter and chaos, but also by gamifying it and putting the 'Tidy up song' on YouTube my DC has learnt how to do so in a fun way.

Could you set up a few age appropriate activities whilst you do chores so that the children can continue to be play independently but in a way that you feel they are learning from? There are Instagram accounts specifically for these kind of play ideas.

You're doing great OP, just give yourself a break :)