It's my birthday

[fortyfourr]

My dh had a big health scare recently, had an operation last week. We are not sure if he'll need more treatment yet.
My dc has been off school with fever since Tuesday and got prescribed antibiotics today.

I feel like there's always something, I'm always stressed, always rushing yet I've got nothing to show for myself.

We are away from extended family, my friends and I are hardly in touch. I haven't fitted in in our new town; not made new friends. I make peanuts working for myself.

I've turned 44 today. And I wish I had it all together by now. I don't. And my face has really aged. My body feels unfit. My clothes are old.

Help me start from somewhere. I want to get unstuck and put myself and my dreams first for a change. If it's one step at a time, what's my first step...

First of all, happy birthday to you and many Happy returns.

I’d say you should be proud of all you’re achieving. So few people are brave enough to run their own business.

How about you make a resolution to be fitter and healthier By the time you turn 45. Set yourself a goal. For yourself, not for anyone else.

Happy birthday 😊 ❤️

Oh OP I feel for you.

I don't think that birthdays are the best time to evaluate your life.

It sounds like you've had a lot of difficult things going on lately.

Personally my goals are out the window. They're overrated. There are times when we need to try to hang on and live as best we can within our values. Circumstances force things onto us but we can choose to still be kind, or value beauty wherever we find it, or whatever it might be.

Out of the things you mention I think the isolation is the biggest red flag for me and the thing that would make the most difference if you could improve it. It's not easy or quick. So my first step for you would be try to join some kind of group. I know there are a thousand reasons not to , they are all inconvenient in some way, don't seem worth trying, not the right sort of people, too expensive, etc. But try it and see.

Happy birthday OP x

Thank you!
I'm tired and a bit emotional.
One goal for myself sounds right. And being fit sounds like a good priority to have.
I might also see into booking a gp appointment as I'm just so ... tired.

@ChocolateLemsip thank you so much.
Yes, not having plans with friends on my birthday made me realise how isolated I am at this stage of my life.

Happy birthday @fortyfourr 💐
Focus on habits rather than goals is what I've been advised by a very wise soul who's a fan of the book "Atomic habits".

Start asking yourself: who do I want to be when I grow up?

I wish you the best for the next chapter of your life.

I appreciate your advice @MsNemo thank you! It's a good question.
I'm a bit overwhelmed by everything I want to do or change, as well as just sad about things I've left behind or I know I can never have anymore.
I have been meaning to read the 'Atomic Habits' book.

"Circumstances force things onto us but we can choose to still be kind, or value beauty wherever we find it, or whatever it might be."

I love this.

Oh bless you. Massive happy birthday. I totally get you. I feel the same, there’s always something , and you feel so horrible when your DH is down with something and you have to be the strong one but are keeping it all together thanklessly. You want to tell them to get a fucking grip sometimes don’t you (well I do anyway!)
even if you know it’s unreasonable!

I know money wise it might not be possible but could you leave dc chilling with Netflix, leave DH to fend for himself and pop off somewhere to tray yourself to some skin care or a couple of new outfits or anything. M&S have some lovely stuff at the minute; even matalan have some nice seasonal jumpers and things. Or get a facial or something last minute, just something for you. It’s so important and whilst it doesn’t fix your life it is a little boost? Maybe even a baileys coffee somewhere alone with a book. Just take some time and remember you’ve got a lovely dc, you’re so important to them who cares how much money your making or whatever.

And again happy birthday 🥳 you’re doing amazing … don’t let the bastards get you down 🥰

@KindLemur thank you 💛