Everything is great, so why do I feel so low?

[Embarrasa]

I'm so lucky re children, job fine, family well so far. But I'm so anxious and low! I feel anticipatory anxiety/depression about losing these things I think eg my parents dying, my children getting hurt, ill or killed.
It stops me enjoying anything. It does make sense. I don't want to be like this: I'm teary, short-tempered, catastrophising. I feel like a real bitch - I should be grateful and happy. I'm on 50mg sertraline which has helped a bit. But not enough. Is it just life?

Sounds really tough op.

Have you always had a tendency like this (eg to worry about the future etc) or is it a recent wave or something that comes and goes over ur life? Either way, sounds like you need to go to your gp as doesn’t sound like your medication is really doing the trick.

As that’s been tried as a first line, maybe you could push for referral to local mental health services (you’ll provably have to do something like cbt first)? Or this might sounds extravagant but if you are financially comfortable, I would pay to see a clinical psychologist.

I can’t offer any specific help as my own experiences and mental health issues are a little different but since I’ve had a diagnosis and targeted support for that it’s helped a lot.

Thanks so much for your lovely response - I have been referred for talking therapies. I want to be with my kids and enjoy them but I find myself burnt out very quickly and/or teary about possible futures. I think you're right and perhaps I'll increase the sertraline

And sorry I forgot to answer - yes, I've always had these tendencies but they've been clearly anxiety based whereas now that's mixed with this weird low depressed feeling