Is this bullying and what should I do?

[userhelp]

Dd year 5 started a new school 1 year ago and since day one has had issues with one child. At the start I just thought it was a case of other child maybe felt a bit threatened by someone new starting but things just keep getting worse.

This other girl just has had a string dislike to dd from day 1, she doesn't let other play with dd, or will insist on joining in with whoever dd is playing with then will alway start drama, pretend to be her friend for a day or two then will cause a issue and make other not be friends with dd.

Dd friends have told her that this girls had told them they are not allowed to play with her and that they are sorry but they have to pretend not to like her otherwise the girl will turn on them

Then the constant eye rolling, bathing her with her shoulder as she passes etc.

I have heard from other parents that every child in the class has had the same issues with this child over the years yet nothing ever changes

Dd has tried her hardest to befriend this girl, even making and giving her bracelets yesterday then by lunch this girl snd caused a huge issue that left over half the class shouting at dd

Dd has a new teacher this year who was also new to the school snd I spoke to him regarding it at parents evening and he mentioned that this child name had already been brought up 6 times that evening

I again spoke to him this morning and he agrees there is a trend and I have a meeting with him next week

I'm at my wits end with this now, dd is unhappy her school work is suffering and she doesn't want to go to school, to me this is bullying and some real action need to be taken

How can I best approach this and sort this out ?

It does sound like she's being bullied, have you mentioned to teachers / TAs before? Has any action been taken?

I always found it helpful to have a look at the schools bullying policy which should be on their website. It should detail the schools definition of bullying, if it matches how your daughter is being treated then detail this in the meeting with the teacher and relate it to the policy. The policy should also detail how the school will handle incidents so you can track and check that they are dealing with it appropriately.

Yes I've spoken to teachers/t/A's weekly for the past year so it nothing new

It more that dd is struggling so much now, she getting upset saying she hates school and her work is suffering now

I feel like this child rules the school and can do as she pleases, there has never been any consequences for her behaviour

Definitely press onwards! BE THAT PARENT your DD needs you!
It is not ok for one child to tell all the others which classmate to play with. School should have dealt with that in the first weeks and be actively managing it now. They should have been aware and have sorted that in the first weeks, back in September.

If the dominant child is telling others not to play with your DD, all adults in school need to step in to deal with this immediately. Even if dominant child is SEN, school must handle this better. I've been on all sides: child, teacher, parent. Your child is suffering but, adults working together can resolve this quickly, easily and tactfully.

If they need a kick, offer to go to the governers or ( .. . the Daily Mail ...)

Thank you I'm 99% sure the child in question has no sens

Dd is actually awaiting a autism diagnosis, her teacher is fully aware and agrees with this

What action has the school taken so far? I have come across children and situations like this many times. It's not as easy to 'fix' as people might think but persistence over time can make a difference.

The school have done nothing except yell her to stay away from dd a few times. They did this today again, dd had a club to go to at lunch and when that finished she was walking through playground to find her friends and said girl was pointing and laughing at dd then got another girl to come over and push dd and tell her that she wasn't allowed within 20 feet of the girl and to go away, dd then spent the last 15 minutes of her lunch sat on a bench alone as she felt she couldn't walk through playground to her friends

That's awful. Does she not feel able to go up to the lunchtime supervisors? I would definitely be going in on Monday morning and telling about this incident.

Yes definitely raise this time and again, this is pronounced bullying and must be taken very seriously.

Don't mess about. Contact the school office first thing tomorrow morning and ask to speak to someone urgently regarding their safeguarding and anti-bullying policy, and their duty of care towards pupils. Tell them you have repeatedly said to your dd's teacher that this child is bullying your dd, and it is continuing to happen. Tell them that they are failing in their duty of care towards your dd, and they need to sort it out as a matter of priority, If you are not happy with their timely response, say that you will have to refer the matter to the Head, the Chair of Governors, the LEA, and if necessary, you will not be sending your child into school until they can guarantee her safety.

As a last resort, tell the school you would be prepared to go to the police if necessary. Is this bully aged 10 yet?