Losing my mind! In complete life limbo

[ellabellaaaa]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year. Time has whizzed by and literally nothing has happened, it feels like my life has stalled completely and I don’t know where to go from here.

Myself and DH got married over two years ago, and been TTC since then with no success. We’ve both had tests recently and it looks like there are fertility issues on both sides. More tests in January.

We’ve also been wanting to move house for a couple of years but can’t make any decisions about what and where. We live in Edinburgh, hundreds of miles from our nearest relatives with only a handful of friends. It can be really lonely at times, and often feels like we’re just surviving rather than thriving. We seriously contemplated moving closer to our families when I got a job offer in the summer but got cold feet for a few reasons and I turned it down. We have good jobs currently and would have been moving to SE England. I can’t see us staying in Edinburgh long term but also don’t know where else we’d go.

I can’t face another ‘nothing’ year in 2025. We’re not getting any younger (both 34) and it feels like life is passing us by …

Has anyone else had a similar experience? And go you have any advice on how to make life more exciting?

Plan experiences, even simple ones like days out, shorter/longer holidays.

Make a list of pros/cons of moving and if there are more pros, aim to make it happen.

Take one year at a time.

We have many years where nothing seems to have happened, but we’re nearly 60 so it’s common as you get older.

In your position I'd be planning holidays. Long weekends city breaks, a week in the sun, longer far flung adventures... As you don't yet have children I'd be making the most of my freedom. When children do become part of the bigger picture I'd recommend that you do move closer to family because, if you feel lonely now, then that'll only intensify once a baby arrives and it makes a huge difference having a good support network round about you.