I need tips to save Christmas

[SavingChristmas24]

Elderly parent due to be discharged from hospital in time for Christmas. Normally they come to mine. I have a DH and DC. Due to medical needs (carers/physio) and not able to travel I’m taking Christmas to theirs.

it’s going to be a challenge to make it good. There will be limited space as hospital bed and medical equipment will take up living room. So all squashed into a dining room. I will be doing the cooking, full trimmings. They live in a shit rural location, so even if they were mobile, there is no where to go.

Space in car will be limited, it’s a 300 mile drive. What can I do to make this work/be a happy occasion?

Been there, done that.

Decide which bits of your normal Christmas are untouchable. Do those as normal. Then make your life as easy as possible with bought in side dishes, not having a tree if you only have to take it down a couple of days later and not doing things that you're not bothered about.

Bribe your DC with promises of fun after Christmas. If they want to skulk, let them skulk and don't force them to be sociable.

Do you have the money to stay in a hotel/Premier Inn somewhere nearby? That way, you and your family can have some quality time together, someone else preparing breakfast if nothing else. Then go to your parent's house for the day itself and come away late afternoon/evening. This could be good for you and your parent as I'm guessing they'll tire easily.

Buy frozen roast potatoes and frozen veg, buy deserts. Cook as much as you can in advance. Explain to DC how they are doing a good deed by going to GP and make sure they have a good time at home afterwards. Play some silly games? Staying in a hotel is a good idea. Finally, have you considered having Christmas at home and going on another day? Or doing Christmas at home a few days early?

I would take a Christmas tree, even if it's a small fake one with the lights already attached (Google pre-lit Christmas trees). How old is your DC? If they're old enough to put a few ornaments on the tree, great! It will give them something to do and if the tree is small you won't need many.

I would also take a Christmas table cloth and napkins, some kind of festive table ornament and crackers. It's not going to feel like Christmas if you don't have a few decorations, so tempting as it is to not bother, I would make sure that you have at least a few.

Could you do your own presents with the DC the day before, so less to pack in the car? Maybe a few token presents to/from the grandparents to take instead?

Obviously space is going to be at a premium so I’m guessing a tree is out. I’d take some fairy lights and either stick them up around the wall or put them in a glass vase. Maybe some tinsel over picture frames or around the tv stand? They’ll take 5 minutes to put up and take down, and easy to transport.

I’d forget about the dining room for eating. Could it be turned into a bedroom? I’m thinking your parent is probably going to be quite exhausted and might just want a bit of peace and quiet to doze, away from everyone, and then come and sit in an armchair when they’re feeling up to it. I’d go with dinner on trays. It’s not ideal but it’s going to make it slightly more comfortable for you all, on what sounds like the start of some difficult decisions.

We are taking Ddog, at this late notice no other option, also love him. So this rules out PremierInn - which is a distance away anyhow. Might look at a dog friendly option for one night, to break it up.

frozen food not workable, small freezer full of ready meals for carers to heat up this week and next will shop for fresh veg locally.

The living room is their bedroom, no sofa/armchair left. dining room is only useable space.

I’m liking tinsel and lights idea. Their house is naturally v dark, this will help with that.

I would get a miniature Christmas tree, or order something like I’ve seen advertised by Bloom & Wild, looks like a potted plant and I think it includes some decorations. I’m sure other companies will have something similar.

Have a pre Christmas evening for opening presents with the DC to save space in the car.

Dogs are allowed in Travel lodge for an extra £20 I think it was.

There isn’t a Travelodge anywhere near.

I have found a dog friendly hotel in the nearest (tiny) town, might look at that for boxing night. There is a pool there, might feel like a treat

If you can, get some of your ready-made Christmas food delivered directly to your mum's house. Several of the supermarkets are doing ready cooked (slow cooked) turkey (and other meats) in gravy - they are expensive but won't need so much cooking on the day. Get everything else ready-made or frozen. If there's anything you just have to cook yourself then do that in advance and take it up frozen.

If you can't get the food delivered, consider doing a click and collect shop on the way there. That's what we do every time we have a self-esteem holiday and it works well for us.

Click and collect is a good idea, however delivery not an option, nor frozen.

although tbf veg isn’t going to take up much room in the car.

This is a controversial idea, but I’d be tempted to let the DC stay at home with Dad and have their Christmas as normal.

It might be a bit overwhelming for your parent to have to face a crowded Christmas Day straight out of hospital.

Maybe DH and DC could have a ‘pyjamas, nibbles and telly’ type of Christmas, and you could do the ‘Big Day’ shenanigans on Boxing Day, or have the Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve night?

I’d honestly write it off this year (been there, done similar).

Take a little Bluetooth speaker, have Christmassy music / fun playlist on all day. Or a really fun audiobook DC will enjoy during busier times.

Definitely take some lights and small decorations. Anything bunting-style that strings up and goes from one end of a room to another brings instant party vibes. Take some balloons and markers so DC can decorate balloons when you get there. They will take zero space in the car.

Take some some games that can be played at the table once dinner is cleared. Ideally short easy things like Dobble, quick version of Pictionary or even a jigsaw. You can get some fun, cheap novelty stuff from places like The Works - thinking mini wind-up Christmas figures, race to see whose falls off the table first, blow up antlers and throwing rings over them, etc. Anything fun you do with your DC they will appreciate.

A nice walk with the dog will give a change of scene. Get some special hot chocolate (thinking squirty cream, chocolate spoons with marshmallows on, you can get budget ones in Home bargains) for when you get home. Christmas movie on the iPad/laptop at the table.

The hotel with pool sounds perfect for Boxing day! Hope it's a good time.

So you, your DH, your DC and the dog are either going to be standing up in the kitchen or sitting on hard dining chairs for three days?

I think @LunaNorth might be right; it sounds like it’s just going to be a really uncomfortable and difficult few days for everyone. Are you sure that your parent actually wants this? It sounds quite a lot to cope with when you’re a certain age, not feeling your best and not in your own bed. Or is it you desperately trying to make everything seem normal after what sounds like a serious medical issue? I don’t mean that to sound harsh, it’s meant with kindness. But it sounds like it’s going to be tough for all of you. Is this the best thing to do?

Fairy lights, a small potted tree with a couple of decorations, a nice candle.

Cosy pyjamas and fluffy socks, a couple of blankets. Bath bombs for DC.
Depending on ages some colour your own place mats or craft kits? Gingerbread house comp or even ready dough and a cookie cutter?
A folding camp chair to be able to sit with your parents if sofa/armchairs removed.

Click and collect at nearest supermarket on the way, order Christmas meat from local butcher.

Do they have WiFi? If so take a firestick.