I'm a SAHM and FTM. I have a 5 month old daughter. She is such a blessing but it has been a big challenge. Started with her having very high levels of jaundice within 24 hours of birth that was stubborn and wouldn't get better. Had to stay in the neonatal for a long time with her. We have had feeding issues and still to this day she is a very bad sleeper.
She has tummy issues and the general advice I got from friends and family is that it's normal. Babies digestive systems aren't developed. I even got this advice from several GP's. I didn't know what was normal and what wasn't as a FTM so I just used to think she has colic or reflux but my instincts told me that wasn't the case. I'm glad I did my own research because after cutting out dairy from my diet she improved so much and now she has been diagnosed with cows milk protein allergy. I am annoyed that everyone dismissed my concerns and I wish I would have known sooner so we both didn't have to suffer.
Although she is better she is still not 100%. She still remains in pain and has blood in her stools. The doctor again doesn't understand why but at least I have finally been referred to a pediatrician ( I've gone to AandE twice hoping to see a pediatrician but I would always be sent to a junior doctor) I am again thinking she may be allergic to something else in my diet but the GP said that's not possible. Hopefully I find the cause soon because her tummy issues have had a knock on effect on everything. She has continuosly been comfort feeding since birth. She always wakes up from her sleep because of her stomach pain and becomes overtired. I can rock her for her whole nap time but she will still wake up. We don't get to do much play or tummy time because she is constantly crying or fussy. I initially thought I was just a very inexperienced mum and didn't know how to take care of a baby so I educated myself a lot regarding baby feeding and sleeping by reading books and taking courses. When I went to see the healthcare visitor for her sleep issue she told me that my baby would not stop crying unless her stomach got better and then we could work on her sleep. I'm glad my concerns are finally being taken seriously although some extended family members still don't understand why I haven't been attending gatherings and still comment saying I'm a FTM so that's why I'm finding it challenging.
Back to the point I hope it all gets resolved soon and then I'm able to work on her sleep, feed and play. The reason I'm writing this post is because hubby wants to try for a second when my dd is 16 months. Initially I also wanted a two year age gap but because of how demanding my dd is at the moment a bigger age gap seems more ideal. If baby number 2 is the same then I will really struggle looking after both kids but then there is a possibility where baby number 2 may be easier and so I can handle both. I don't want to be selfish and have baby number 2 if I know I'm unable to properly look after both. It's just hard to predict what it will be like. What would you say is a good age gap