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Almost two year old is painfully shy

7 replies

Lefmry · 11/12/2024 11:09

Hi everyone! As the title suggests my son is 2 next month and is just SO shy. I thought it was because we didn’t see enough people so I made a conscious effort to start seeing more family and friends the last 3/4 months. If truth be told I became a bit of a recluse this year after a horrendous pregnancy with HG and moving house a few weeks before an elected c section. It has helped him a TON but he really is just still so incredibly shy. He used to cling to me and cry when people came over but now he warms up to them after 15/20 mins or so.

Alongside visiting friends/family we go out for walks a lot, parks, soft plays etc. he takes and picks his older brother up from school so he does see people often. I’m happy I’ve started to make more of an effort so I’m sort of coming to the conclusion it’s just his personality? I’m wondering if anybody else had a child that seemed super shy and if they grew out of it or not?

I’m only wondering because we cannot leave him with anybody. I had my nan and grandad watch him the other day whilst I went to an important appointment with the baby and he SCREAMED the entire time. It’s weird because out of everybody he sees often he loves them the most, he’s always saying nanny and grandad every day so it shocked me he cried so bad. I also have signed him up to a gymnastics class, he’s been twice so far and hasn’t let his feet touch the floor whilst there! 🥴 Although does LOVE watching the other children, he smiles the entire time, it’s like he’s desperate to get involved but his shyness stops him.

I was a shy kid when I was younger and it did genuinely affect me a lot. A fair few of my earliest memories are moments where I was so painfully shy, it’s like they’ve been engraved on my brain. I don’t want him to feel that way tbh but I don’t think there’s much more I can do really.

OP posts:
JoMumsnet · 11/12/2024 18:08

Hi OP, we're moving your thread to our Chat topic and giving it a bump to get it back into active conversations as we're sure there are plenty of Mumsnetters who'll know exactly what you're going through.

hoarahloux · 11/12/2024 18:09

Separation anxiety is really common. You could start leaving him with others more. It can be half an hour to start or even less. Kiss, hug, "mummy will be back in 30 minutes", go. The more you do it, the easier he'll find it to be away from you.

Runskiyoga · 11/12/2024 18:30

Also you can practice at home, kiss hug mummy will be back in 30 secs, 2 mins, 5 mins at home and just grow that confidence in her knowing she can do it. Make a game of it with lots of praise, can you go 1 step from mummy in the park, oh look now you go, now you come back, 2 steps, 5 steps 10 steps. Do her a little star chart and let her stick a star on for each little step on the ladder. Once she's confident with just going to and from you, then you can get her going to and from you with the grandparents. It's baby steps, but she's a baby and it's worth the investment if she has the same shyness you did - also ok to reframe it as a positive trait, introverted or careful.

KittenPause · 11/12/2024 18:33

It's very common

Mine went to nursery from 9 months because I went back to work so it was lovely to see them making friends at such a young age

Standingontheedgeofforever · 11/12/2024 18:39

My DS was similar when younger (he turned 2 in March 2020 so similarly isolated at the same-ish age).

When we first did the school run for his older sister (who started that September), he hated it when there were people walking behind us and always wanted us to stop to let them pass.

One of the first birthday 'parties' he went to was a friend from nursery when the rule of six was still a thing so was a small picnic gathering in a park... He spent the first 30 minutes or so with his head face down in my lap.

He's six now and I would describe him as 'quietly confident'. He didn't want a speaking part in this year's nativity, but is happy to get on stage and sing and dance with the rest of them. He'll never be the most outgoing, but he can be very loud and cheeky with his group of friends 😅 He's kind and quite popular with both boys and girls in his class. 🥰

slightlydistrac · 11/12/2024 18:43

Sounds more like separation anxiety to me too.

TheBirdintheCave · 11/12/2024 19:09

slightlydistrac · 11/12/2024 18:43

Sounds more like separation anxiety to me too.

Yes I'd say this. My nephew is not shy but he hates being separated from his parents.

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