Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

To analyse and think I ‘settled’

2 replies

Spideywomman · 10/12/2024 20:21

I met my now DH when I was 19. He was 25. I’m now 27. So it’s been nearly 10 years. I don’t know why I’m analysing ? Maybe because we’ve hit a rough patch.

and the things that I’m finding difficult was stuff I ignored.

he was my first boyfriend and person I was intimate with. I had confidence issues throughout school and then I met him on a night out after being a bit tipsy and confident and I’d never really had anyone take interest in me. So I ran with it and I ignored some things that I look back and think that is never the type of man I wanted ?

he’s always been limited on physical affection. I’d like to cuddle or kiss and he’s always stopped it he doesn’t like lots of physical touch - I do.

Emotionally immature. Cannot express emotions and just expresses them through being moody.

libido. Mine is considerably lower now we have 2 young kids and our youngest still wakes in the night so I’m drained… but I was always higher and initiating sex. We even had a chat about me feeling insecure as he never initiated but he explained his sexual needs weren’t as high ( this isn’t a major dealbreaker as relationships aren’t just sex)

sometimes I’m happy with just mundane routine. He constantly wants a task or project to focus on and even berates me about not having hobbies.

Not really paternal. I did want the father of my kids to be an above and beyond dad. So this one makes me especially sad

This isn’t a LOOK AT ME IM A VICTIM POST. I’m a grown woman I’ve made this choice now I look on it and I’ve kept ignoring things. I don’t think they’re awful but I just look back to me the young girl who met him and I just wanted to be loved and with someone and have ‘someone’ and that’s what I’ve got but I don’t know. I just feel a bit glum

OP posts:
Spideywomman · 10/12/2024 21:14

NB: I’m also not perfect and DH may be thinking he settle with me!

Just wondering if anyone’s ever felt the same

OP posts:
TheThreeStingrays · 10/12/2024 21:26

I’m sorry you’re feeling that way!

You have mentioned all the negatives but are there positives too? Do you have discussions with your partner about this or have you kept these to yourself, such as your differing love languages re physical touch etc?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page