Christmas presents between singles and couples

[AITAH10]

Saw this elsewhere and in my mind it's quite true and a tad annoying.

I'm single and my siblings are married and some have kids. It never occurred to me that I buy them presents singularly ( out of a much smaller pot!) And I get joint from the couple or " the family" I'd never given it much thought and I dont have more than a twinge of annoyance because It's my choice what to spend and I like gift giving especially to nieces and nephews but when it was pointed out I was abit ahh I'd never thought of it that way

It IS annoying. Have you ever mentioned it? Maybe they just need it pointing out to them? Depends on how everyone's finances are, obviously, but with a couple of kids you may find they don't have quite as much cash as you think.

But in general it might be worth pointing out that you don't have quite such a big pot to draw from. Maybe the adults at least could do a secret Santa type of gift?

If I buy for relatives without kids, I always spend a bit more as they buy for the kids too.

I always buy joint presents for couples at Christmas, to the same budget as I would for one person. It feels much fairer.

We’ve kind of got an arrangement where the single people buy just for the kids, and the family buys for the single person. We are the family in this situation, and I try and make sure we spend fairly generously as I don’t want any resentment over something that’s meant to be fun! You’re right OP, it IS unfair on you.

Life as a single person is annoying!

Anytime you buy a gift be it for a birthday, Christmas, wedding etc if you're in a couple it will cost you half as much.

That said between siblings we only buy for kids not for each other now.

The annoyances are worth it, as far as I’m concerned!

I presume you're able to afford it tho? - not everyone is in the same position.

A single person buying for a couple (and children) bears the full cost, whereas a couple can split the cost - as pointed out by PP

Sometimes, it's a practical issue of cost, rather than a how-many-people-you're-buying-for issue.

And sometimes single people do draw the short straw ......... and I don't think sometimes couples / families realise the disparity

True.

It all depends on circumstances. My sister is single and works full time in a decent job. I am a married sahm with no income, OH earns not much more than her but we have two kids to support and higher other costs. For us, we roughly spend on her what she would spend on us all. Eg if I estimate she spends £20 on us each, she gets an £80 gift. So I don't think that's a problem with being single; how lovely she gets such an expensive gift all for herself!

When I was on benefits & really strapped for cash, I usually bought a tub of celebrations or something for each family. But yes, it’s not just about the reciprocation, it’s about what people can afford.

That's generous of your family.

As the single person in the scenario, I've always found that e.g if I spend £20 on each member of a family, I get one £20 gift back not one that is more expensive.

All the comparing!
Just buy for who you want to
Honestly. Some people have 1 kid. Others have 5. It's really petty. Imo.

Honestly I have cooked £100's of £££s worth of xmas dinner for my BIL and his parents for the last 13 years.

We always buy them each really thoughtful pricey gifts.

BIL has no partner no kids.
Earns shit loads more than us. And has literally been known to buy me soap on occasion.
But yeah he's single. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I'll see my sisters in laws over Christmas this year. So feel that I have to buy them gifts as they brought me one last time.

Yes my brother is single but he doesn't bring as much as a bottle of wine (and i wouldn't want him too) and I cook for his special dietary requirements - it evens out