Family Poor but Money Rich

[cripplinglyalone]

Not here to brag. Here to hear some perspectives on my situation.

I am an older Mum. 2 young kids and I have very poor health. I have a DH but aside from him, due to death and estrangement, we have no other family. I posted here before about being lonely but I guess due to my own childhood trauma I do still find it hard to make true friends. I worry every day about leaving my kids for hospital or worse. Worry so much about who would look after them.

We've worked hard and now have a really high household income, always more than 50k net a month. I know how lucky I am with that and trust me I give a lot back to charity and those less fortunate all the time. I just wish I could feel more relaxed and enjoy it more.

Money truly isn't everything, I am so poor and anxious when it comes to the 'riches' of company and family.

Guess I am here to say it out loud and hear what anyone has to say.

That does sound quite hard, being ill, and having young children. I suppose that you are able to make things as easy for yourself as you can, to save your energy for your children, such as having a cleaner, dishwasher, food being delivered, that sort of thing. I don't know if you have a medical condition, but if you do, is there a support group for it? Sometimes reaching out to people with the same issues, can help with some of the loneliness you may be feeling.

always more than 50k net a month. a month?
How old are the dc? Are they at school? Could you find your (mn-ism) 'tribe' that way?

This sounds hard!

I think we're keen to race to the bottom on MN to be honest, I know people who have it worse (no money and no family!) but that in no way invalidates your feelings and struggles.

Personally I have money (not £50k a month but decent!) and family, but it's pretty dysfunctional with lots of previous abuse/neglect and constant drama. Again on paper, it looks okay! But it's a lot to live and deal with, even if I am 'lucky' x

Wow that is some income.

Are your health issues permanent? Will they get any better? What affect does it have on your life?

Have you ever had therapy to talk about your childhood and anxiety?

Family connections is one thing money can't buy...and it must be tough having no extended family and poor health on top of that. It must be amazing to have such an income ..I can't even imagine it but no one's life is perfect.... wishing you well

The income has ramped up the last few years. We give a lot away and arent rich yet. Lately I have got more serious about saving more becasue feel like having a big cushion might help me feel less 'what if's' I really have tried to make friends with my 2 young primary age DD's mum lot, but as always the insecurities creep in and I hide.

The heath stuff is permanent, it's also unpredictable. But I know I could be at a healthier base line to be tackling it, mentally and physically.

I have had therapy. I tried again a couple of years back but got a bad experience so I think that is something to consider again.

Thanks for your reply x

Thank you. It is an unfairly high income and I am always humble. I also think a small part of the new higher income adds to the lonliness, I grew up poor, I relate a lot more to working class than those who look down noses or want to keep up with the Jones's. I don't flash my income at all, but it does become apparent when people probe or find out I gifted such and such, or we pay for big events, etc.

I can somewhat understand your fears around your children .I also have several health problems and can no longer work .my diagnosis gave me such a frightening I wrote a will and paid for my own funeral.
I do have family but I live hundreds of miles away from them and we rarely see each other but do speak on the phone.
When I moved to my current location I hated it didn't know I sole had a new baby. I does get better hun. Do you have any interest? Can you join any local clubs ?
Ask your child's friends over for play dates and invite there mums in for a coffee ?
Local pubs?
I wish you all the best xx