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Original poster

Should I change what I've brought ? Is this people pleasing ?

29 replies

Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 08:38

I've brought my friend a gift for Christmas. My friend told me that someone else has brought her the gift. My friend didn't know I'd brought it for her. The other person who has brought the gift was having delivery issues. So whereas this other person intends to get this same gift and ordered it, no idea if it actually arrived.

I Cannot take mine back. I could keep it for myself and get my friend something else but I've also asked for this gift too. Why should i risk having 2 of the same (it's beauty related, so having 2 is not necessarily an issue).

Should I still give the gift to my friend or should I change the gift ?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 07/12/2024 08:40

I’d just give it to her, Xmas is stressful enough without that

Original poster
Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 08:43

To add- I wouldn't ordinarily buy this for myself as I couldn't justify the cost. If i change the gift for my friend then 1) I get put out by having 2 of the same 2) having to think of a different gift for my friend and then going to buy it etc

OP posts:
Maboscelar · 07/12/2024 08:44

Presumably it's something that will get used up, so she might be happy to have two. I would give it to her

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Quirrelsotherface · 07/12/2024 08:45

who’s going to say it?

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 07/12/2024 08:47

Not me.

Eh, I dunno @Lalaloop89...I don't think it's people pleasing to change the gift.

I'd probably keep it and get something else for my friend, if I were in your shoes, but it depends - if it'll stress you out or make a lot of hassle for you then just go ahead and give it anyway.

Original poster
Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 08:49

@Quirrelsotherface say what ??

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 08:52

It'll be me put out again and changing my plans around others. The other being the person who has the same gift. I don't have another gift idea to hand. Yes it would get used up no problem if she were to have 2 of the same

OP posts:
AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 07/12/2024 08:53

Then just stick with it and allow yourself the freedom of not worrying about it. 🙂

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2024 08:54

If you know it's something that she will use just give it to her as you planned.

Jostuki · 07/12/2024 08:55

Just give it to her.

WarmFrogPond · 07/12/2024 08:55

Quirrelsotherface · 07/12/2024 08:45

who’s going to say it?

😀

Presumably she can return it if she’s already received one?

genesis92 · 07/12/2024 08:56

You've BOUGHT her a gift. It's not BROUGHT.

deeahgwitch · 07/12/2024 08:56

Sorry I'm confused.
Have you brought the gift to her already ?
Are you there with her and the gift now ?
Or just bought the gift and not given it to her yet ?

Original poster
Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 08:57

Maybe - its beauty so not sure. She Might be able to exchange it without the receipt

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 08:57

I have the gift ready to give for Christmas. She doesn't know what I've got

OP posts:
anon2022anon · 07/12/2024 08:58

Oh just give it to her.

SnoopysHoose · 07/12/2024 08:59

@genesis92
I agree, BOUGHT 🙄

Blueuggboots · 07/12/2024 09:00

Buy/bought
Bring/brought

StormingNorman · 07/12/2024 09:01

I’d keep it and buy my friend something else.

Ggmores · 07/12/2024 09:02

Can you return it or exchange it for something else, maybe something else in the same range?

WillowTit · 07/12/2024 09:03

can she make use of two?
otherwise keep it for yourself or give it to someone else

SirMink · 07/12/2024 09:05

Does the other person know that you have also bought the same gift?

Keroppi · 07/12/2024 09:05

Just give it to her it'll be fine, apologise when she opens it/make a joke if you really want to
I'm sure she'll be grateful
I regularly buy two of my favourite products or ask for perfume for xmas and bdays so have duplicates. It's fine

Original poster
Lalaloop89 · 07/12/2024 09:06

@SirMink the other person doesn't know

OP posts:
DilemmaDelilah · 07/12/2024 10:58

@Lalaloop89 as others have pointed out, there is a difference between bought and brought, so the answers you receive will vary between those who are answering what they think you mean, and what you actually asked.

If you have 'brought' the present already - as in it you have bought it (paid for it and received it) and then taken it with you to give to your friend, then just give it to her.

If you have 'bought' the present but have not taken it with you to give to your friend - so you have paid for it but are not giving it to her right now, you have several options:
You can ask her whether she would like to have it anyway
You can let your other friend know you have already got it so they have the option to cancel theirs and get her something else
You can just give it to her anyway
You can try to return it and get your friend something else
You can keep it for yourself and get her something else
You can give it to someone else and get her something else

I would go for the second option, personally.