Is your child (uk) engaged to an American citizen?

[GrimDamnFanjo]

DD is engaged to marry an American next year.
We've kept our noses out of the practical side of which country they will live in but but I'd really welcome hearing experiences at this point.
Both work in the service industry so don't earn much and the changes in uk immigration means that us to uk is out of reach financially unless DD takes a second well paid job
Fiancé is extremely keen for DD to move to USA.
This would mean DD giving up her job which she loves.
Fiancé is estranged from their entire family so there's not going to be any support for them both in the USA.
Is anyone else going through these issues at the moment?

Not something i have experienced, but as an American citizen, I strongly advise she meet with an immigration attorney with expertise on child custody before making this move. She needs to understand all the potential issues that could arise if things don’t go perfectly in the relationship, depending on exactly which immigration path she uses.

Agree with the PP. If she moves there and has DC she may well not be able to return to the UK in the (50%+ likelihood) event of divorce.

The economic risks also seem high for her.

Don't know much about the visa side of it but him being estranged from his whole family is a worry. I know they're adults and there's not much you can do but I'd encourage them to stay in the UK for a couple of years and see how it all works out. Have they ever lived together?

It’s more dire than not being able to return to the UK. She needs to know if she is taking the risk or not being allowed to live in the same country as her children and how to mitigate that risk.

If your DD wants children with this person she needs to be aware of the risks. If she moves to the US, any DC she has there will be US citizens but she won’t be. That will be the DC’s country of residence. Even before DC, your DD’s right to stay in the country (and possibly to work in the country) will be linked to her relationship.

Has she met this person, tried living with him?
Why is he estranged from his family?

I mean, there could well be good reason that he's estranged from his family... not all families are good.

But it doesn't sound very practical at all, from either side. If they financially can't live here, they've got few options but for her to go there if that visa is accessible to them, but that comes with downsides - as others have said, she may not be able to stay in the country if they divorce, but her children would be considered US citizens. That's a big deal. Probably not something she's going to want to spend much time thinking about whilst they're engaged, though...

Are there any other options for them? Does either have any other citizenship?

If your DD can't afford to bring him to the UK on a spousal visa, the reverse is very likely to apply.
All the info is online
https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-processes-and-procedures/affidavit-of-support

I would be doing everything I could to help them live in the uk. Yes, she will have to take a second job, and overtime or temporary jobs don't count, but that's a very small inconvenience compared to moving continents.

If they marry then she can apply to become a US citizen after 3 years. I did that, as I didn’t want to be unable to live in the country that was my children’s home.

Isn't the service industry in the US lower paid than UK? Why do they think they will have a better life there?

How come DD is engaged to this person? Is it an online relationship? Have they met in person? Why does fiance (say they are) tell DD they're estranged from family? It all seems a bit red flag tbh. Has your DD had any other relationships? I would be concerned

You need to make $25,550 to sponsor a spouse, or approx $12 an hour. US service workers average quite a bit more than that.

edited to add…

For comparison you need to earn £29k to sponsor a spouse to move to the UK. So I don’t think it’s that they’ll have a better life in the US so much as simply not being able to afford the required income for sponsorship to the UK.

I’m not in your situation, but I am married to an American.

I agree she needs to really, really understand the visa situation. Including the responsibilities/requirements on both of them, and her path to permanent residency. Basically, what happens if one of them loses their job, or they split up, what is the impact on her residency status? Though I get that asking someone madly in love to consider that is very difficult!

Everyone above is right to sound the alarm about being able to move back to the UK. There’s two flags I’d raise here. The first is that while it’s hard as a UK resident to bring a partner here, it’s even harder to return with a partner. Second, yes if they have children and the relationship broke down, she’d need him to agree to them moving to the UK, she could not legally remove them without his permission.

If she moves there and things fizzle out quickly, well that’s sad but actually not a massive issue in so far as she would just be able to move home. As a parent, I’d put aside money to be able to buy her a flight in that circumstance.

Big things to think about, but my perspective as someone who has been there and done that is that international relationships mean you have to make these big decisions early on. And of course most of this applies equally to him if he were to move to the UK).

Has she spent any extended vists there? America is much more different culturally than we mostly assume!

Does DD want children??

I'm Canadian and my husband is British. I lived in the UK for 10 years previously and had spousal visa but came back to Canada. I didn't have Permanent residency in the UK.

We are just in the process of moving back to the UK and we had a huge shock with the visa system. It's so much money these days.

It cost us almost £6000 pounds JUST to apply. They have obviously increased the amount needed as salary but also tacked on a huge NHS immigration surcharge.
That's only for 2.5 years. Then you have to reapply again.

Good luck to them both. I know it's really tricky both ways and really hard for anyone who isn't minted!

Thanks for all your replies. I really appreciate it.
DD is unlikely to have children, so that's one less thing to worry about.
We've met her fiancé several times, holidayed together etc, but like a few of you I worry that they don't really know each other well enough as it's a long distance relationship punctuated by a couple of weeks together every quarter.
We've been extremely careful not to express our personal views, but our feeling is that she doesn't really want to go there but is torn emotionally and a bit worn down.

‘Unlikely’ to have DC isn’t definite.

It’s not good she’s feeling ‘worn down’. There isn’t actually much time pressure. ‘Engagement’ is meaningless since they are currently ineligible to work in each other’s country and haven’t agreed on what to do.

DD should individually, properly investigate the options and implications for herself.

The best option on paper is likely to be ending the relationship!

I’m American and came to the UK to marry Dh. No way in a million years I’d want any of my dc moving to the US (and they are US citizens). It’s expensive and not as safe as here. I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole. I don’t even travel back. I think the income thresholds are so incredibly unfair and unrealistic. When we married, it was only £18k a year and I was able to prove I was a worthy immigrant by drawing on my own assets to show i would be financially solvent. But they are so terribly unfair to young people today who are lucky just to get a job, any job.

My advice would be that they need to find a way to live together before they make a step to moving permanently and choosing a country to live in. Could one of them get a remote working job and then they can travel on 3 or 6 month tourist visas and spend 3-6 months at a time living together? Could they both get jobs in a third country and live/work there for a year or two? Dh and I met working abroad, so we lived together in another country for year, so we knew when we went long distance that it was the real deal and we were confident planning such a big move.

Unlikely to have a child herself. Possibly her fiancé would have a child but they've both said no when asked.
Tbh your last line is the one we secretly hope but would never voice.
Nothing to do with the immigration issue but some of the relationship dynamics we've observed.