Feeling sad about the passing of time

[herewego9]

Not sure if I'm being over dramatic but for the last few months I've been feeling wistful about the children growing up. It just seems to be happening so fast. Not sure if Covid made it worse in terms of the feeling of time passing but my husband just sent me a reel of the kids when they were 2 and 4. Land I'm now sobbing watching it!. They're 8 and 10 now and I have had this feeling for a while. It's not locating my daily life or anything but there is definitely a sadness there. Can anyone relate? I'm approaching a big birthday soon so maybe that's putting things into focus.

Oh absolutely. Mine are 12 and 10 and completely gorgeous and I love this stage, so it’s not that I’m particularly wistful for their smaller selves (though goodness knows I could sob over them if I thought about it for 30 seconds). But the pace of it all is terrifying and I’m constantly brought up short by the realisation of how little time we have left all under one roof, and how I’ve somehow gone in about ten minutes flat from a promising new graduate with the world at her feet to a slightly knackered middle aged mum with a nice job who’s never going to set the world on fire.

I feel the same. My DD is recently turned 6 and I feel like 6 is the last real "small child" age. 7 seems like an older child in my head. And also many clothes sizes of lovely dresses end at age 6 in some shops which hurts my heart! Plus the move into "big" shoes (size 1) etc....its irrational and hard isn't it because obviously we very much want them to grow and thrive, and do all the things they are capable of doing, but they will always be our little babies.

I am trying to focus on the positives such as really funny conversations we can have together now, good days out, helping with cooking, reading her chapter books that I used to like from my own childhood. I also try and spend time with my mum friends who have younger children so I get my toddler "fix" from spending time with them.

The days are long but the years are short.

I'm the same. Mine are 8 and 10. I've gone from having babies and toddlers to small children and now big children. My oldest starts secondary next September and I'm petrified. I'm not ready. She still seems so young. I wish they could stay in their small, friendly village primary school forever. Sigh.

I know what you mean. Mine is now late teens, and for the first time this year he's decided he didn't want an advent calendar or a stocking, so that is the end of those traditions for us. He will likely be joining us in a few drinks this year, and over the next couple might not even be at home with us. It is scary how quickly the time goes.

I think a lot of people get this feeling about kids although I don't myself. I love my kids getting older and more independent, although I do slightly miss family days out together, which take a lot of planning because our 16 year old is always out and about. Also realising that next year could be our last regular holiday as a whole family

I'm staring down the barrel of this too. My dd will be 15 next year. How the hell did it happen?! They'll both be at secondary school. I don't wish for the little years back but I wish I could stop time speeding by now.

Thanks all, feeling much less alone about it. Reading this replies and nearly sobbing in the school run. There were some really tough days when they were small so I'm trying to be realistic too and enjoy each pet hut there thought of them both leaving home in a few short years is sending me into a bloody spiral. Not that I'm sharing that with them of course!.

This 'trying to be realistic too and enjoy each pet hut there thought' should read 'trying to be realistic too and enjoy each part but the thought'. 😂

I’ve got a lump in my throat just replying to this…..my lovely Step daughters have been in my life since they were 9 and 12 ……the older one had her first baby this year ( who is the apple of all of our eyes) and the younger one is hosting Xmas in her new home for us…..while I am grateful every moment of every day for their health hand happiness and mine and my DH,s too ,I would give anything for just one weekend in the “ old days” where we would go out for coffee and cake on a Saturday morning and watch X Factor with “ picky bits” ( can’t even stand that phrase now…lol) and on Sunday morning have “ team talk” over a leisurely breakfast …..ok I’m full on crying now but I’m 53 and can blame the menopause 😉) sending love to you all ….enjoy their young years, time really does go so fast.. xx

Being too wistful and pining over how they used to be might mean that you are not enjoying life with them here and now. Live in the moment, and leave the past where it belongs.

They won't be 8 & 10 forever either, so don't miss it!!

My eldest left home this year

Middle one is a teen
And a ten year old

I think it's normal to feel wistful and grieve stages but I refuse to wallow and not enjoy the here and now.

I remember when my son was 3 months old and an elderly gentleman who was behind me at the supermarket check out said to me "cherish every moment". Maybe he was thinking about how quickly time flies. My son is in his twenties now but I've never forgotten what that gentleman said.

I miss the baby and toddler years. But must admit to enjoying having a more independent child now we're in the teenage years.

I look at old photos and miss having a small person in my life but would I go back to a time when I had to do everything? No!

I was having one of those moments recently looking at 11yr old DD, just on the cusp of leaving childhood behind. We were in the kitchen and I was pottering about and she put Abba'a 'Slipping through my fingers' on. I think my heart actually broke for a while

I understand this and my son is only 3! I feel like I’m always thinking savour this moment, he’ll be big soon.

Kids getting bigger, parents getting older. each year just goes quicker and quicker, makes me feel very emotional.

I understand this as I used to feel it. Then I gave myself a shake to realise how lucky I was to have the kids at the age they are now, at every single age they'll ever be. The biggest and most precious privilege in life so instead of looking back make the most of every lovely age and stage.

There is poem by Holly McNish that perfectly encapsulates this feeling and it brings tears to my eyes every time: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0cjhcpl

My boys are 8 and 10 too and I have a baby girl just turned 1. I feel exactly the same. I don't think it's anything to do with wishing they were small again, it's just that every single year feels like it goes by quicker and quicker and the time is just running away.
I love the little people they are turning into, they make me laugh everyday and I love spending time with them.The baby turning 1 and the eldest being in year 6 has made me feel it so much more I think. The thought of leaving the lovely little village primary to go to the huge high school breaks my heart. I don't want to go backwards, but I do wish I could freeze time here!

I could have written this. I always feel so anxious on New Year's Eve with the thought of another year gone by with my babies getting bigger and bigger. It honestly just flies. Such a bittersweet privilege to be a parent.

Oh god me too and DD is 16. Been through a divorce too so remembering how many years it's been since we were a family and in our home is heart wrenching.

I try to put it out of my mind, doesn't always work.

Mine and 6 and 8 just come back from a very special Xmas holiday and I am really feeling it with Xmas on the way. I've worked with little ones for 25 yrs and have watched these children grow from babies to teens/adults so I cant even say that i didnt know it went quick because i did.

I usually put Nick Cope's on (Grow or When I get older) and have a good cry not sure thats what he intended when he wrote them x

Oh, I get it, OP! Not just about my child, either! Sometimes I look and at parents and aunts and uncles getting older and feel so sad and wonder how that happened!

I look at myself as a middle aged woman and can't quite believe that's me. Time feel as though it's flying by so quickly, I don't want to be half way through 😭

Same here. Mine are 25 and 21. I wish I could have them as they are now but also have versions of them when they were 5 and 8.

The film about time has me in tears every time!

Sobbing in the pub, thankyou for that.