How do you keep the house functioning with a baby?

[Pushoffnosleep]

Please no sneering at me for being pathetic, I know I am. DS (4 months) is my second baby and my eldest is at school so I know I shouldn't be struggling like I am.

DS is hard-core velcro. You cannot put him down for any length of time - he goes bananas. Yes I have a carrier but he's very heavy now and I'm finding it really difficult to actually get anything done with him attached to me like I used to when he was smaller. In essence this means I get absolutely nothing done round the house because all I do is hold the baby - he might give me 10 minutes to shower or eat breakfast at top speed but no more. He's happy and chatty and smiley but turns into a demon if put down (and this is in any contraption - bouncy chair, play mat etc). He's a good napper but he only naps on me - doesn't really even nap in the carrier any more, just wants me to hold him in my arms in bed.

I have a great DH who is honestly doing about 90% of the household stuff alongside full time work (I do the meal planning, cooking with difficulty and most of the school runs but that's pretty much your lot) but I'm feeling terribly guilty and fed up of the house being a shit pit until he gets back from work, or having to be frazzled cooking lunch or dinner with the baby shouting at me constantly. The laundry is absolutely endless.

What are some practical things I can do - make tomorrow's dinner the night before?! We did have a cleaner but tbh it wasn't that helpful as had to run around tidying before she got here which I found stressful.

Please scroll by if you're going to be mean...my brain can't take it...

My third was like this, things i done to make it more bearable.

Allow her to cry, i know its harsh OP and it broke my heart but actually i made sure she could see me, was safe, i would dance around as i done the stuff I needed to do or sing or play peek a boo, anything really to attempt to keep her amused.

I also did it in intervals, so ok it will take me 10 mins to hoover so id put her in bouncer, or in her play mat and she may loose her shit but its a short time, then we would play, then half an hour later repeat.

I would basically allow an hour a day for household chores and that would be split.

I also made sure i got a solid nap routine, never contact napping ( this took a week or so to master) essentially i would put her down and keep my hand on her , she liked my hand on her face until she fell asleep and i got alot done in her nap time.

I had this with mine, my evenings and my husbands were spent doing all the house things til he was ten months and finally got him off contact naps, so I could do stuff when he slept. So good to have evenings back

I think this is the biggest difference between DS2 and DS1. DS1 was clingy BUT he would nap in his cot so I would always get a bit of time during the day to get jobs done and eat lunch without either having to hold him with one arm or listen to him scream..

Sorry haven't rtft but see that the carrier isn't the answer, assuming you're carrying on your front? Would you be able to carry on your back? I have a sore back, but I did back carry from when DS2 was about 6 months, and he'd sleep in there too. Was much easier to get stuff done. I used a mei tai (?) which meant it was more adjustable to be comfortable once I'd learned how. Sorry if you've already tried / considered that!

Deep clean once a month. It’s magic. They clean and tidy rather than a once a week clean that just feels stressful as you need to tidy everything before they arrive.

DS2 was like that, I got absolutely nothing done during the day. DP took over holding him in the evening as by that point cooking felt like a break! We had a cleaner and lived off batch cooking/ cook meals. At about 5 months he started being (relatively) happy in the high chair in the kitchen with some toys, so that gave me some stretches of time. He was completely different from DS1, who would happily sit in the bouncer and then go to sleep in the cot...

I'd be inclined to try things like showering the night before. Pop a load of laundry on in the evening and then drying it. I'd shove all dishes in the dishwasher. I'd swap with your dh so you can get away from baby and do other tasks a few days a week. When I had 2 under 2 I would put the youngest in his bouncer and take him into the bathroom with me whilst toddler sister would be in the playpen. Yes he may well have cried for the 5 minutes I was in the shower but needs must, I'd just get out, dressed and then cuddles.

Can you not slowly start introducing time in the bouncer whilst you are in the same room, sat playing with baby, only for 5 minutes at a time. Yes they will likely cry at first as they are so used to being in your arms but will likely get used to it if you persevere. As long as they are safe would it be the end of the world if he cried for a few minutes whilst you went to the loo or did another task? Every parent is different, we each have our own boundaries though so if that's unacceptable to you then fair enough.

I can totally relate to this, I have a 2 month old who won't be put down in a moses basket etc. I can sometimes get 10 minutes of him in his bouncer so I'll quickly tidy the kitchen then and sometimes spruce up the living room. We do the bigger tidies at the weekend and my OH helps, we sort of take it in turns to have the baby while the other cleans and then switch. My OH does the shopping on his way home from work and all the cooking (always has) I always bathe when he gets in from work. If I want to make a brew or nip to the toilet then I just have to let him cry for a minute or two, there's no other option. I struggle to eat in the day to be honest, I may have some breadsticks and hummus as that can be eaten with one hand. I totally feel you, this is the part I find hardest, not being able to keep on top of everything x

He has time in his bouncer and on his playmat every day out of necessity but the noise of him crying goes right through me