Should I move from a house to a ground floor flat?

[KrystalKrystal]

After an accident I'm now disabled, I currently live in a house with my two teenagers but I'm REALLY struggling with the stairs and have fallen on them quite a few times, so now I stay & sleep downstairs in the livingroom, I don't go upstairs at all. I've already had an occupational therapist assessment but unfortunately my staircase can't be adapted for a stairlift and a through floor lift can't be installed. Ideally I'd like a bungalow but they are extremely hard to find and am considering a ground floor flat but would I be crazy to get one? I've read soo many horror stories of loud neighbours above, I also lived in a 1st floor flat many years ago when the kids were young but luckily my neighbours above I hardly heard a peep from by my gosh we had a horrible neighbour downstairs who eventually got evicted. I don't know if I can go back to sharing a commual hallway (a maisonette would be ideal instead) because sometimes the downstairs neighbours would leave mess there, their friends would ring the other buzzers in the building to get inside, they were junkies and broke into & robbed a few of the flats.

Unfortunately I can't take a top floor flat even with a lift because if it breaks down I'll be trapped, also home deliveries etc are so much easier on ground floor. I used to pay the delivery men to bring our orders upstairs in the flat.

If you were me would you wait out and hope a bungalow (like gold dust) becomes available, a flat or a maisonette as a compromise?

Sorry to hear about your accident.

I would wait if you can, I think once you’ve been in a house it’s hard to go back to being in a flat. So many potential issues and you’re at the mercy of your neighbours.

could your teenagers go drop some letters into the bungalows locally near you asking if they’d like to sell?

Hi op are you social housing or private buyer/ renter?? I would hold out for a bungalow as you say the other tenants might not be very good. Could your doctor provide medical evidence for you?? You have my sympathy I'm in the same situation struggling with the stairs x

If you are a buyer then I would consider a middle ground there will be other houses that are not a bungalow but are suitable for adaption.

if you are in social housing you may be eligible for specific disabled housing, also as you are in a house that is not suitable for your needs you will have priority.
if you are in social housing though I would prioritise getting In touch and getting the ball rolling as you have mentioned the children are teenagers now and if the leave home they won’t be considered so you would get housed in a smaller property which won’t have room for them anymore.

Hi @Ginkypig @Muthaofcats @shellyleppard I should have said I'm a social housing tenant, and with my council they only accept OT assessment reports (not GP) which placed me into band B medical priority but I'm struggling at home. I guess I need to be patient as I've only been able to bid for 2 years. I would be happy to move to a different city as my housing association have a lot of bungalows in other cities I'm interested in but the children don't want to move to its very limiting.

Honestly I waited soo many years to finally get a house I do think it would be very difficult to go back to living in a flat again.

Have you had an OT assessment?

if you haven’t I think you should get one done, you can phone for one yourself or contact your local adult social services and tell the you are struggling and need an assessment which needs to include an OT assessment.
you need to then Add that to your application so your priority can be changed to reflect it.

how old are your children? This is maybe going to sound unfair but if they are getting close to leaving home then you may need to consider doing a move to another city wether they like it or not because soon enough they will be leaving you and home but your still stuck living in a house you can’t even get up the stairs of. If They are old enough thenyou need to sit them down and have a serious adult conversation with them about how these circumstances can’t go on.

@Ginkypig yes I've had an OT assessment and was placed into band alB medical priority. My children are 20 and 19, at university but realistically I can't see them moving out for now. I have considered asking the council to downgrade me to 1 bedroom and give them a place to share but they both don't want that.

Do you have a downstairs bathroom at the moment?

Well, I live in a very nice ground floor flat, it is council. I have a fantastic view of the countryside and my neighbour is great.
you know if it’s council you get to look first you r allowed one refusal. Thing is it’s alright folks saying wait but it’s not safe, you r better to move be safe if you really can’t hack it after a while then try find a bungalow swap if council of course

@healthybychristmas I only have a downstairs toilet, so use the sink to wash myself in 😔. OT thinks its best to move and apply for any adaptations in the new property as you have to live there minimum five years otherwise the DFS Grant will charge you for the work done.

@Workingclasslass that's my issue as it's already been 2 years and it's such a struggle at home, I'm trying to be patient waiting for a bunglaow, but I have even bidded on a few flats, which I didn't get any of them. One was even on the first floor but with a lift. Honestly with my disability it would be so much easier for everything to be on one level, but I definitely need a garden, patio or balcony, just some sort of outdoor space for my lovely cats 😃

Your children are adults - time to put yourself first and if that means moving to a bungalow in another city then that's what you should do.

I can't believe they'd have their mum washing in a sink for years for them - if true that's awful.

This.

OP are you certain there is no way a stairlift can be fitted? What is the reason? Stairlifts can be made to fit all sorts of staircases. Ours is narrow and has a bend, but we were still able to have one fitted.

You need to put yourself first, I can’t pretend I know exactly how social housing works for adapted housing but your children are adults and will not live with you forever.

@coffeesaveslives @PandoraSox & @ViciousCurrentBun yes I'll be honest the kids are being very selfish, I even texted one an hour ago and asked about moving to Nottingham and was told flat out "no!". It's my fault I think I've spoiled them to an extent but they just make me feel so bad about ripping them away from their friends if we move to another city 😥😥. I had a repairman here recently and even he said to me Milton Keynes isn't far only 30mins for them to visit their friends. I think I may just start bidding on bungalows listed in Milton Keynes & Nottingham (those are the two other cities I'd move to) and take it from there because I could have been in an accessible homes for myself two years ago now.

If MK is only thirty minutes away that sounds ideal. I know it’s on a grid system so easy to navigate round, just check how accessible public transport is there if you rely on it. Good luck.

Hi @KrystalKrystal. I maybe missed this point, but with your current living situation are you in a 3 bed? One each for your dc and your former bedroom? Or were they sharing before uni?
I'm not sure if it's applicable to all areas but my area (esp if claiming any HB, or having more bedrooms than you "need") you'll get reductions in hb and will have to pay for the extra room(s). And, although I have no experience of the bidding system many councils use now for applying for new homes, I would assume that as your dc are at uni you may only be able to bid for one bed places? Or if more beds you may be down the list for (lower priority?) and less likely to get a larger properly if others bidding have higher need for larger properties. As I said, I've no direct experience myself of this but assume so element of this will be in play?
If your dc live at home whilst at uni, or their home during the holidays is with you then that may change what you can apply for, but soon - if not already - you will only be able to get a one bed place anyway as your children will be classed as non-dependents and able to find their own places.
I have a now non-dependent who hasn't lived at home for years now but would be back and forth here and there but -despite other very outing and personal reasons - I am currently in a position where I have a "spare" room which I am paying for. Despite, due to the identifying reasons - isn't actually spare at all and is actually vital in that it allows me to get help which I need. I do need to reapply to have the spare room changed back to needed with my council, but other things have overtaken that in terms of more serious priority. I am also still being back charged for a period that I had my child here back n forth (again, for personal reasons, but it was necessary to help me continue to live and have support) but because permanent address (in this particular timescale was uni accommodation that did cover the summer holidays which legally made the difference, but in reality that room was being used as otherwise I'm alive. I had no energy to fight that, despite knowing that medically and legally I would be fully able to reapply and also backdate those two situations above (re baxkpay that I "owe" them and backpay and current pay that I also have to play for the room, despite it being 100% necessary for my own care and due to it actually being used maybe half the month, but the stress of this is currently not worth it for me to appeal). And no I am not making any money from anyone staying, it is in fact vital to my own care, and is being provided 100% by someone very close to me, without who I would struggle and would also need to apply for this care elsewhere.
So, my point (sorry!) is that if anything above is similar to my situation you may need to take all of that into account, especially if you do need and extra room, for an essential reason (like I do) I would suggest don't just step back and accept, for whatever reasons -like I did! - but deal with what you need at the time. I got into the situation on a current house and due to more important things happening I didn't appeal at the time as I just wasn't able to, so if you do have any similar needs to mine then fight for what you need now, instead of being trapped by the situations years down the line (like me). But also accept - and tell dc - that at their ages they may have to just understand you can't house them forever and that if them having a bedroom each to come back to for a few weeks a year holiday from uni is more important than you having access to a bed, a shower, basically basic human rights etc , then they need to have a reality check. You can't hide the more difficult sides of the care you need from your family if it's your family partially denying you those things, especially if you've tried to gloss over the more difficult things you need, so that it's not "difficult" or "awkward" for them.

@ViciousCurrentBun& @Whatwaswrongwiththatusername yes that's why I'm really considering Milton Keynes, oh I'm in a 2 bedroom as the children are the same gender but was told once they're 21 they'll be classed as non dependants and my housing association/local council won't have a duty to rehome them with me so as you've said they may end up moving away from home very soon anyway

Thank you all, as I do feel alot better because my family (siblings & mum) make me feel like a terrible mother for considering moving away, even though it's in my best interest but to be honest my family are never there for me anyway, so moving to another city also has an added bonus of leaving them behind 😆 🤣

Why don't they want a place to share? Council properties are like gold dust! They'd be very fortunate to secure themselves a council tenancy at 19 and 21, and could they stay in the town they want to live in?
However, if you rely on them for support with your disability, maybe it's best that they move with you.

@Byebyechicken oh I meant they don't want to have their own place and no longer live with me

Move city if you have to.

This move will be to your forever home, your adult children will have to deal with a 30 min commute to see friends.

Where I am a lot of Londoners arrived on a deal of give up a flat and get a house with at least the same amount of bedrooms deal.

I'm in a HA bungalow, yes I am lucky but on my contract I AM allowed to sublet a room so if yours is the same you can sublet to your adult children.

Approach your housing association about the bathroom issue. There are things they can do that while not ideal can bridge that gap.

A portacabin shower in the garden or access to somewhere with showers / a bath. There was some word of work being done at my house and as a temporary measure they were going to give me access to an old people's home so I could shower. In the end I think I went to stay with my dad.