Is it just me or does it just not feel very christmassy yet? I'm currently sat at home looking out of the window it's pouring with rain and the sky just looks grim.
I don't think it's helping that I can't put a tree up this year as we have recently got a very active and mischievous puppy that would just destroy it so I made a decision to leave it until next year when he will be older and hopefully better behaved he's literally still a baby at the moment 13weeks old.
Also what's not helping I think is the fact that I've had a really stressful couple of years with both my DD & DF were both diagnosed with terminal things and the fact it may well be both of their last Christmas's this year.
My mental health is at an all time low at the mo and I just feel angry a lot and also have thoughts of "it's not fair" and "why my DD & DF?" I'm trying to keep a brave face on for anyone that I see and speak to so that people don't realise how stressed and quite literally depressed with it all so whenever anyone asks me are you looking forward to Xmas I just put on a fake sort of persona and just blag my way through the conversation so that no one knows anything is wrong.
Also not a lot of people know about my daughter and my father as I am quite a private person and don't like telling everyone my problems especially when there is people in the world a lot worse off from me.
Anyway I suppose the whole point of this post is has anyone else been feeling less than christmassy lately and if so how do you plan on getting through it because at the moment I don't know if I can face seeing Christmas day the way I feel at the moment.
Also thank you so much if you got this far.