It was a dark and stormy night...

[FridgeJenga]

Humour me please MN!
I'm ill and bored and in need of distraction.
Let's write a story full of tales of derring do and brave chivalry, or just a load of old twaddle 😄

His hand caressed her silken knee.

At that point she knew the squirrel had been a mistake...

It was in fact, a furry beaver...

The squirrel suddenly was no longer tiny it filled the patio door window looking in at me

As it should be, as a bald beaver is very wrong.(they get cold bless them).
Suddenly there was a frantic banging on the knocker.

And in the distance I could hear...

The constant whirring that came from the factory where they used triangular honey from triangular bees and triangular ??? from triangular trees and I heard a woman scream "oh! Mr confectioner please"

Meanwhile, the baying hordes were moshing outside due to not only the size of the triangles, but also the quantity in each slab

Did these peasants not have more urgent tasks?

The wind picked up and howled around the turrets of the Matterhorn Institute for the Criminally Insane.
There was a light shining out of one the upper windows...

24 hours earlier I threw my clothes and toiletries into a bag and booked a flight to Switzerland. I had to go, I had to find out who wrote that letter. Could Susannah be alive?

After my flight, I jumped in a taxi and headed to the Matterhorn institute for the criminally insane. Now, as my taxi pulled up at the security gate, I could see a light shining out like a beacon of hope. The answer seemed so close but how was I going to get through security?

Luckily I had remembered to pack my invisibility cloak 🙌
I shoved the bag under the conveniently placed large bush and pulled the cloak over me.
Scouting stealthily around the perimeter fence, my heart almost stopped when I heard...

...a thin but beautiful voice singing from the turrets above, drifting through the cold alpine air. My ears strained to catch it's wistful melody. Could it be...? Yes! The Macarena!

As I listened I felt sick, 6 Toblerones on the plane was a bad idea!

I threw off the cloak and sashayed towards the security guards...

Hey Macarena, ay!

One of the security guards reached for his pocket. I said, with a saucy smile, "Is that a shiny squirrel or..." but before I'd finished the sentence...

"Is that a shiny squirrel or...

are you just really pleased to see me?"

He called his colleagues over, and oh my god, was he challenging me to a dance off?!

...I found myself looking down the barrel of his revolver. But what he didn't realise was that my swaying hips were drawing in the air a mystical rune I had learnt on my travels. It had an immediate effect on the security guards, inducing in them a hypnotic state of....

…. a zombie like Macarena, their eyes were glazed and their hips swayed in perfect synchronicity, they looked like a weird Spanish boy band.

I slipped through the gates as fast as I could and headed towards the ominous building. As I followed the sound of music and singing I listened more closely and I recognised the voice …. It sounded just like Gary, my lost love. It was weirdly out of place, why would Gary be here too, but it was his voice singing his favourite song! Gary’s two favourite things in this world were a Macarena sing-a-long and a pint of Absinthe.

I continued to walk up the long drive ….

As the effects of those 6 Toblerones were starting to kick in.
But Gary's voice was drawing me in, it was like a magnetic pull and all I could do was...

Throw up in a nearby bush, that felt better. I carried on walking and finally reached the front door, I gave it a little push and was surprised to find it wasn’t locked! I tentatively walked in not sure what I’d find, behind the reception desk sat ….

...a forbidding looking woman with an unforgiving chignon and a monocle. When she saw me, she gasped. "Why Miss Susannah!" she exclaimed, for my sister and I had more than a passing resemblance. "What are you doing out of your room at this hour?"

her chains were clanking along the floor as she dragged herself nearer and nearer her mouth open in a ghastly grimace, saliva dribbling down her chin, her white gown flapping in the breeze from the door ajar from her room.

Just then from somewhere behind reception a loud voice yelled "CUT!!" and the ghastly drooling receptionist straightened up, grinned and winked at me.

"Sorry about that," she said, "we're in the middle of a drama production for the residents. You're quite welcome to join of course!"

Pulling the 7th, slightly squishy but still defiantly triangular toblerone out of my back pocket, I brandished it in the direction of the upper turrets, knocking out several shiny troll squirrels in the process.

All of a sudden two orderlies arrived and grabbed me. “Time to go back to your room Susannah”

Me “I’m not Susannah, I’m her sister come to visit”

Orderly 1 “Yes of course”

I was pissed off - I DO NOT look like a camel, I’m the pretty twin! Everyone says so. AIBU to think it’s insulting to be mistaken for my sister all the time?

As the indignation subsided I realised they were taking me to Susannah’s room. I submitted …