Just started a new job during a depressive episode - really struggling

[StressedDepressedNotDressed]

I got made redundant 8 weeks ago. It was a complete shock. I took it quite badly as I really loved my job and colleagues. I went into a depressive state, but managed to job hunt and secure a job offer. Once I had the job offer, I sunk even lower into depression.

I haven't been eating much, haven't been sleeping, have barely been showering. I've lost a lot of weight. I left the house once in November to see a friend, other than that I've only been out to walk my dogs.

I started the new job last week and I'm really struggling. I've been putting in the bare minimum effort, not engaging with colleagues/keeping myself on mute as much as possible during meetings, not being proactive about getting myself onboarded. It's really unlike me. I'm usually very conscientious and a hard worker, and very proactive and overly keen when starting a new role.

The last 2 days I have taken off as sick days - again this is really unlike me. I feel like I'm sabotaging myself. I've had a resignation email typed up and in my email drafts since my first day there. My mental health is in tatters. I've never been like this before, and can't seem to just pull myself together and get on with it. Everyone around me is sick of me and telling me I need to get a grip.

I really don't know what to do.

Also I know this is really unfair to my new employer and colleagues. The guilt is eating me alive

Are you being treated OP? Get yourself to your GP for help xx

You poor thing, it's horrible to lose a job that you love. You do sound depressed/very low and perhaps you could make an appointment with your gp and see if they can help?
Also you can self-refer for talking therapy online.
Well done for getting another job, if you don't think you can do it right now, thats ok, because you are poorly. Get better , then get back on the work train.

i’m on antidepressants but they don’t seem to be doing much, so I will book an appointment with my GP.

i have taken another day off sick today, I just can’t seem to get myself up and out of bed to work. it’s like i’m sabotaging myself and willing them to fire me so I don’t need to quit.

speak to your new boss perhaps. if you can flag it to them they are less likely to penalise you or think its an attitude problem.

Hello, @StressedDepressedNotDressed . Please try and talk to your manager to explain in the first instance.
Your reaction is at the high end of normal in response to the redundancy, but no less important and personal to you. Redundancy isn't personal but it certainly feels that way.
Your new manager/HR department may well be very helpful - after all, they interviewed you and employed you, so you have something they want!
Take care

It sounds like you are very unwell. Go to your GP, get signed off and then write to your boss/HR. Something like-
Dear xxx
I wanted to make you aware that I am suffering from depresssion. I am experiencing a particular episode at the moment and I am aware it’s impacting my work. I am really committed to getting more medical support with my disability and then to be able to give my work my absolute best. Please can you advise if you have any occupational health I can engage with once I have had some time off? Please see my fit note attached.
Kind regards,
xxxxx xxxxxx

Horribly difficult to send but having been on the receiving end of one of these emails as a manager I really, really appreciated the honesty and ability to make a supportive plan compared with other people who haven’t shared and we’ve end up down a whole disciplinary route that could have been avoided entirely.

Agree with PP. Get a fit note and take some time off, tell your manager confidentially but tell them you are committed to getting well and being at your best in your job. Wishing you all the best xx