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Whatsapp - block/stop?

24 replies

Honestlyhonee · 03/12/2024 00:39

I know I can mute and archive but is there a way I can just stop any messages coming through on whstsapp for a while from certain people? Without them knowing?

I have a friend who is also a colleague and she texts me at weekends and on my day off about work despite me asking her not to. I am drained by it. I have told her gently before, but she'll then text and say "feel free not to reply I know it's your day off". I am already anxious by that point. When it is archived I can see it in the folder still.

I know I need to be bolder and I will be but wondering if there is a temporary solution.

OP posts:
TheITCrowded · 03/12/2024 00:42

I think you can just block them, then when you're ready unblock them? They won't know, and you won't hear from them at all.

TheITCrowded · 03/12/2024 00:43

These apps are ridiculous, but they're built with privacy in mind. You are in charge! You're not obliged to reply.

AnxietyIsKillingMe · 03/12/2024 00:46

If you don’t want the messages at all then block

but if you want them to be there when you’re ready, you can ‘lock’ the chat it does in to a locked folder and you won’t get a notification

candishop · 03/12/2024 00:47

You can also mute the chat.

candishop · 03/12/2024 00:48

Sorry, I reread OP and saw you mentioned mute already.

Youhaveyourhandsfull · 03/12/2024 00:53

You can lock chats. Then it won't appear at all unless you actually open it.

SplendidUtterly · 03/12/2024 00:57

Just mute chat AND it's notifications.
Even if she sends a message you won't see/hear anything.

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 03/12/2024 01:02

If you archive her (then unarchive her on Monday morning) then you won’t get any notifications from her but you will from anyone who isn’t archived.

You won’t know anything apart from if you go looking in the archive folder.

Honestlyhonee · 03/12/2024 01:14

Thanks didn’t know I could lock

the problem with archiving is I can still see it at the top showing I have a message and so it provokes stress

OP posts:
freshsweetpea · 03/12/2024 01:57

TheITCrowded · 03/12/2024 00:42

I think you can just block them, then when you're ready unblock them? They won't know, and you won't hear from them at all.

They absolutely will know. From the whatsapp help centre page, this is what happens to anyone who has been blocked:

"You can't see the contacts' statuses. You don't see updates to a contact's profile photo. Any messages sent to a contact who has blocked you will only show one gray check mark to show the message was sent. They won't show a second check mark."

For reasons I won't go into, for several years I had huge anxiety around notifications, so I'm the first to say I understand the situation per-se, however, with me it was to do with messages from people who I did not want in my life due to the problems they caused me - I'd like to think I could deal with someone who I actually like but who is a bit of a thorn in my side with the messages.

If this person means no harm, can you not just mute their message? I'm genuinely not understanding why this is such a problem.

Honestlyhonee · 03/12/2024 02:04

freshsweetpea · 03/12/2024 01:57

They absolutely will know. From the whatsapp help centre page, this is what happens to anyone who has been blocked:

"You can't see the contacts' statuses. You don't see updates to a contact's profile photo. Any messages sent to a contact who has blocked you will only show one gray check mark to show the message was sent. They won't show a second check mark."

For reasons I won't go into, for several years I had huge anxiety around notifications, so I'm the first to say I understand the situation per-se, however, with me it was to do with messages from people who I did not want in my life due to the problems they caused me - I'd like to think I could deal with someone who I actually like but who is a bit of a thorn in my side with the messages.

If this person means no harm, can you not just mute their message? I'm genuinely not understanding why this is such a problem.

If this person means no harm, can you not just mute their message? I'm genuinely not understanding why this is such a problem.

Likewise, I am genuinely not understanding your previous problem? Surely in your scenario, i.e. not wanting them in your life, you would just block them? Whereas in my scenario, this is someone I am trying to not to fall out with massively - I just need temporary relief.

As I said, muting them still means I can see when they have messaged as I still want to access Whatsapp for other friends. Then I start getting anxious about it. I need to lock it off completely for a time.

OP posts:
freshsweetpea · 03/12/2024 02:16

Honestlyhonee · 03/12/2024 02:04

If this person means no harm, can you not just mute their message? I'm genuinely not understanding why this is such a problem.

Likewise, I am genuinely not understanding your previous problem? Surely in your scenario, i.e. not wanting them in your life, you would just block them? Whereas in my scenario, this is someone I am trying to not to fall out with massively - I just need temporary relief.

As I said, muting them still means I can see when they have messaged as I still want to access Whatsapp for other friends. Then I start getting anxious about it. I need to lock it off completely for a time.

I blocked as many people as I could, but when it's random people on facebook sending messages to tell me what's going on in a situation that's playing out in real life & one I'm trying to distance myself from, you can see why blocking was not an option - as fast as I blocked someone, there would be someone else to take over. At least with Whatsapp people have to have your number, unlike on social media where you can be found by just about anyone who knows your name.

I solved the problem by closing my facebook account and opening another in a name that no one would know to look for.

Facebook messenger was the worst, because as soon as someone (anyone) opened up a message and began typing, my phone would make a brief "popping" sound. I would then look at my phone with my heart racing, waiting for the message to appear. Sometimes it never did appear, because as we all know it's perfectly possibly to accidentally enter some text while reading messages, so I'd hear a pop and then be like a cat on a hot tin roof for hours, waiting for a non-existent message to appear.

If a message from someone who means me no harm is sent to me and I don't want to deal with it, then I don't. But I accept also this could be a generational thing too, as I come from a time where the only telephones we had were tied to a wall in the house and the was no way of knowing who was calling to say what until the call was answered. There was no caller display, and no chance of getting the number before the year 1995. Everything was much simpler then, and we had to develop a resiliance, although on the other hand every call was charged by the minute, so people didn't just ring about every single thing the moment it popped into their heads, like we can do now with whatsapp & messages. And added to which, it was very socially unacceptable to call people at certain times of the day, or the week, or when you knew they were in the middle of nervous breakdown crisis.

Honestlyhonee · 03/12/2024 02:35

@freshsweetpea fair enough. I long for those days when mobile phones weren't a thing. I am not on FB, but as I live overseas I am reliant on whatsapp to keep in touch with friends and family.

My major issue I think is that I work with people who are "friends" and one or two overstep my boundaries re work even thought they know I get anxiety about work. I do need to be firmer, but then as soon as you say something, you feel like an idiot. I also worry that I will be a hypocrite one day (though I can't think when or how as I am very firm about working hours).

One of these friends chooses to work weekends and does not have kids so thinks it is ok to contact me non stop.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 03/12/2024 02:40

If you archive the the chat you can then set it so you don't get notifications of new messages for archived chats. That might work for you

Redglitter · 03/12/2024 02:48

It seems to on Android certainly. Not sure about Iphones. I accidentally did it recently and had a friend phone me because she thought something was wrong as I hadn't read her messages

Beigepuppydog · 03/12/2024 22:22

Three words OP: Dual SIM Phone.
One for work, one for personal. Don't look at the work phone WhatsApp outside of work.

shutupputup · 03/12/2024 22:27

You can lock it

Whatsapp - block/stop?
XmasElfOnTheShelff · 03/12/2024 22:41

i had something similar. I’ve moved them to my locked chats so I can’t see unread messages, and I choose when to go in there and look.

TY78910 · 03/12/2024 23:22

OP, it sounds like you are an anxious person so this advice is probably not one that's easy for you but just tell her. Say exactly what you have said in this thread (just don't make it personal) next time you see her F2F.

Hey Lucy, really appreciate you keeping me in the loop for X. I have a lot of stresses going on at the moment and seeing messages from work on a weekend or evening makes me feel like I have something outstanding or pending and it's really adding to my stress. Would you be ok to e-mail instead so I can check on this when I am back at work?

Honestlyhonee · 04/12/2024 02:22

TY78910 · 03/12/2024 23:22

OP, it sounds like you are an anxious person so this advice is probably not one that's easy for you but just tell her. Say exactly what you have said in this thread (just don't make it personal) next time you see her F2F.

Hey Lucy, really appreciate you keeping me in the loop for X. I have a lot of stresses going on at the moment and seeing messages from work on a weekend or evening makes me feel like I have something outstanding or pending and it's really adding to my stress. Would you be ok to e-mail instead so I can check on this when I am back at work?

Thanks, yeah I really need to tackle this. I am angry that she has ignored my more gentle hints and specific request. Saying stuff like "feel free to ignore" etc is really not on. It is selfish.

I have given this a lot of thought lately and I am coming round to thinking that although I have a lot of love for her, she is a bit of a user and is always in some sort of drama. She falls out with people a lot. I need to back off, big time.

OP posts:
Honestlyhonee · 04/12/2024 02:23

Beigepuppydog · 03/12/2024 22:22

Three words OP: Dual SIM Phone.
One for work, one for personal. Don't look at the work phone WhatsApp outside of work.

Thanks sadly this is my personal phone because she is also a friend. Locking seems to have done the trick but a more serious conversation needs to be had.

OP posts:
deluxe · 04/12/2024 20:35

Sorry to high jack this thread OP, but I also have a question regarding what's ap. I blocked my SIL for a period of time this year. (It's a long story) anyway she complained that her messages didn't seem to be going through ( lol I knew why but she obviously didn't). I ended up unblocking her and it said in our conversation chat " you unblocked such and such"

My question is can she see this part of the chat? Did she get notified that I blocked her or that I unblocked her? 😳😳

OP in regards to your question I can't advise as I find WhatsApp really hard to navigate and I hate the app personally.

Redglitter · 04/12/2024 20:40

@Honestlyhonee

If you switch on keep chat archived a conversation with the person you won't get any notification of a new message from them.

Whatsapp - block/stop?
Honestlyhonee · 04/12/2024 20:47

Redglitter · 04/12/2024 20:40

@Honestlyhonee

If you switch on keep chat archived a conversation with the person you won't get any notification of a new message from them.

Edited

Oh wow thank you! God this site is a god send to me!

OP posts:
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