To struggle with having a nice life.

[ChristmasWitchy]

Hello
Always had some mental health issues. Feel I may not be NT. I wouldn't say I've had an awful life at all but now it's nice I struggle to believe I deserve it.
Low level bullying and emotional abuse by mum and sister throughout childhood.
Went to a not very nice single sex school
Some nasty boyfriends
Bitchy and bullying workplaces
Shit marriage.
Fertility treatment
Prem birth
Divorce
Single parenthood with vast majority of custody

However now I'm re married to an amazing person, have a lovely job and nice mates. I am being unreasonable to struggle with a nice life I know it !

I think because you've had some hits it may feel difficult to accept that life is being kind to you now.

But you absolutely DO deserve a nice life.

Can you start practicing gratitude daily if you don't already?

Things like:

Thank you life for being good to me
Thank you for giving me such a wonderful life
I am so grateful to have so much joy and so many good things in my life
I am working at understanding that I am safe and present and deserve the good in my life

Or the simple

THANK YOU.

It doesn't matter if you don't deserve it (you definitely do but hear me out). Lots of people who really don't deserve it have nice lives that feel comfortable - what exactly does deserving have to do with it? Mostly it's coincidence, luck and some smart choices made along the way.

You do deserve a comfortable happy life but take the worth of deserving something out of the equation. There are people who deserve it who never get it and people who don't who will always have it.

Be grateful instead of worrying about whether you're worthy.

Of course you deserve a nice life as much as anyone else, but anything that you aren’t used to feeling is going to be uncomfortable until you get used to it. All you can do is appreciate what you have. Having a nice life on paper still comes with different difficulties and heartaches at some point.