People who love cooking for their families every single bloody day……

[Zippidydoodah]

…..and I’m sure there must be someone out there! 😜

Please could you inspire me? All I feel is seething resentment and verging on rage that I have to cook every. Single. Night.

I’ve tried “dump bags”- horrible name but amazing concept- nobody liked them.

The kids eat way too much beige and we don’t eat anywhere near enough vegetables. I’m genuinely scared for our future health!

Help us……please!

@MangshorJhol apparently not 😂

I had this problem and I just left them to their own devices!Didn't get worked up about veg etc,people can get very obsessive nowadays, and they are all healthy late 20s early 30s .
The youngest who was a PITA with food from birth has just run a Marathon!
Really don't worry..they get their food and vits regardless!

@MangshorJhol can you please let me know a few of your recipes that go down well with the kids? I’m half Indian and would love them - especially the fish curry, egg curry and okra. Mine also will not eat Dahl - I’m gutted as I love it!

I do something like this: I work 50 hours a week and CBA to start cooking when I finish ( well maybe one night)

Mon - some mince dish cooked in the oven over the weekend so either bolangaise or chilli occasinally lasagne or macaroni cheese this week I did a pasta bake
Tuesday - At this time of year soup also done at the weekend ( I ring the changes a bit, spicy root veg, tomato and lentil, minestrone or leek and potato) served with fresh bread and cheese
Weds Fend for yourself ( Dd is 18) sometimes she cooks for herself sometimes its McDs, I frequently have marmite on toast or a peanut butter bagel.
Thurs: Thai Curry or stir fry (usually not a curry if we had chilli on monday)
Fri : DH makes pizzas

So thinking is minimal mon-fri. DH and I do one weekend night each so I will usually spend one weekend afternoon cooking ( including that night's dinner).

@livanlaterlaterlater I've tried but eldest comes home and says what's for my tea? She doesn't like much. DD2 has now got a job and is shattered at 18. DS at 15 does sort his tea. None of them pay rent/lodge as DH said they don't have to even though I was brought up to do. I feel like escaping.

Sooo two questions 😁...

Firstly, can I come for tea? 😂

Secondly, could I have your noodle soup recipe please?

@Stumpedasatree for dal I cook it plain. Heat oil, a little of the cumin seeds, add the red lentils, a bit of turmeric, salt and cumin powder, stir, add boiling water and cook till it breaks down. I like my dal watery. I don’t add a tarka for the kids.

I recommend the book Indian Home Cooking by Suvir Saran. I make a plain version of his Lahori chicken and my kids will eat that.

For egg curry- boil the eggs and peel them. Chop onions finely. My kids are fussy about onions so I chop them finely. Heat oil and add whole cumin, cardamom, cloves and black pepper. Add the onions, lower the heat and cook for 10 mins. Add ginger garlic paste and cook for 5 mins. Then add passata and powdered masala- turmeric, cumin. Add a pinch of sugar to cut out the vinegary after taste of canned/jarred tomato. Cook this down stirring till it is dry. The oil should separate and come to the fore.

This btw is the basis for MANY dishes. From this stage you can:

• add some milk and a splash of cream and let down the sauce and add paneer.
• add the boiled eggs, fry them in the dry tomato paste. Add some potatoes, water, cover and cook till the potatoes are cooked and the sauce is thick. (Don’t add too much water).
• chicken and brown them, add two large tablespoons of yoghurt, each time ensuring that it is fully incorporated, then a splash of stock/water and cook till the chicken is done. Potatoes are optional.
• add chickpeas, a little tamarind paste, some chhole masala (you can buy it on Amazon) and cook it till the canned chickpeas are a bit soft (cover and cook for 7-8 mins). If your kids will not shriek at the sight of green (one of mine still does) serve with a squeeze of lime and some fresh coriander.

On the chilli front- I started with whole dried chillis, then moved to mild (not Kashmiri) chilli powder. As long as it is a little bit of it both my kids can take this. The next stage is to cook with actual green/red chillies. We’ll see.

I am so sick of cooking every fucking night for my entire life. Daughter went to uni unable to cook, has miraculously taught herself to cook and keeps sending me photos of things she wants to make me at Christmas. Can't bloody wait!

@merryandbrightdelight So as you can tell I am not British although I studied there. To make it worse I live in America. So tea is a hot beverage. But I know what you mean!! 😂🤣😂🤣 And yes, my entire self esteem is closely tied to feeding people. So all are welcome. Maybe feeding people will help me cope with the horror of the next four years?!

I work FT and DH is vegetarian. So on a weekend I might make a meal from scratch but I also use a lot of shortcuts- chopped onions, jars of garlic and ginger, canned tomato. No one has time to make stock. I don’t.

Also you can give your kids a jarred pasta sauce with nice quality fresh pasta from a deli. And then serve some salad or fruit on the side. Maybe a nice baguette.

Give them canned soup, but buy fancy bread, spread out some salami, some cheese, tomato, cucumber, avocado. Maybe some hummus and pita. Finish with 2-3 different kinds of fruit. Pick and mix dinners are a big hit here. If you serve some good quality fruit and veg on the side even if they pick at it then why feel guilty about canned soup?

I know I like and enjoy cooking but my kids enjoy all of us sitting at the table and eating as much as they do the food.

Noodle soup can literally be as simple as heat supermarket broth or even ramen broth and add noodles. Then depending on what the family will eat add mushrooms, greens, egg et al. I like topping mine with egg, fresh red chilli, caramelised onions and coriander with a squeeze of lime. My children like the egg…
Or chop onions, brown them, add a little curry powder, stir and cook. Add coconut milk- 1 can, stock- I packet, salt to taste and bring to the boil. Add the noodles and cook them as per packet instruction.

My children were actually fine sorting out their own food .Ingredients there but I stopped the expectation that Mother did all the cooking , especially with teenagers coming home at different times etc !Quite happy to cook omelette, stir fry but anything else was up to them. Always fruit and veg available.
As adults they are happy with my approach.
All great cooks as well 😋

I've no specific recipes because you have had loads already.

What I would say though is get yourself a tictok account and find the trending stuff on there. Then show your dcs and ask if any of their friends have had the thing that is trending. Because they then get fomo they want whatever dish it is so make it together with whichever child seems most excited.

Also the veg thing. Don't sweat it. Kids are control freaks and attention seekers. Make a fruit salad every few days and just give them that as a pudding. Eventually some tictoker will do a poke bowl or something packed full of shit they have denied liking for 2 years and they will want it!

Don't argue about food with them, just try and get them interested in trying new things.

Books I learned to cook from:

• For Indian food as I said Suvir Saran’s Indian Home Cooking
• For non Indian food: Nigella’s How to Eat.

Cook things your kids will like but add one new element. Ok so they want chicken goujons and chips, try making the chicken goujons with them at home. Or maybe serve it with one ladle of homemade soup, and a couple of veggies- just cucumber and carrot sticks. In the real world we all eat a mix of processed and fresh food. Within budgetary constraints if you can try and make sure you buy good quality then please please don’t feel guilty.

My mother who is now dead but who had some mad theories in life, had one very good tip. She said, children can control only two things, what goes into their mouth, and how it comes out. If you make a big deal of either (ie
meal times or potty training) you will lose. She was right.

I know. I’m so grateful ❤️

I have a child with sensory issues around food and who cannot tolerate cooked veg of any sort. If he is presented with veg as part of a meal he eats around it.

So I cut up a plate of raw crudites which I dump in front of them with tzatsiki and say 'Oh, dinner will be a while yet so snack on this while I get it sorted'. Then i MN or youtube for about half hour while they eat that. Breakfast for dinner is standard- scrambled eggs and toast; sausage baps; pancakes etc. It has to be quick and it has to be something they eat.

i Love cooking. I have fridays off and so i reserve Friday and the weekend for a full dinner extravaganza. But otherwise I take comfort in the fact they have a cooked meal at lunch (if they eat it is another thing....) and they have a plate of raw veg at the start of every meal 'to tide them over'. They have not twigged yet.

But during the week I very heavily rely on quick things they will actually eat. There is nothing wrong with scrambled eggs and toast 3 times a week for dinner. Or a ham and cheese panini. After they have snacked on raw veg because 'mum isn't organised yet'.

@MangshorJhol i love you! 😁

I used to do the raw vegetable thing when they were a lot younger. I do sometimes give my youngest some cucumber or carrot. Will try it for everyone 😁

@HighlandCowbag 😂😂😂

my daughter has actually shared with me a couple of TikTok pasta recipes! She can cook them 😜

Top tip for cucumbers.... (because personally i hate them raw with a passion). Finely slice raw cucumbers and put into a bowl. Sprinkle over a half teaspoon of sugar, a half teaspoon of salt and a dribble of light white vinegar. Toss and let sit for at least half an hour at room temperature. It just does something to the cucumbers. My older one who has all the food issues really adores this version. It's like the lightest of light pickled cucumbers you can imagine.

My dd is a teen and would say with certainty that she doesn't eat courgettes and leeks, but she loves my pasta with tomato sauce, that she's been eating since a toddler. The tomato sauce that has courgette and leek in, whizzed up with a blender (she's ASD, still won't eat lumpy sauce).

I do find it tedious cooking every day too - its a happy day when we're having left overs from the day before/the freezer.

@SilverBlueRabbit that’s the Chinese version I think. Years ago I used to watch an Australian Chinese chef called Kylie something and she used to make this. For a more grown up version, add a little chilli oil!

I think you either like cooking or you don’t. I do enjoy cooking and enjoy the satisfaction of my family having nutritious, home cooked food.

I do use gusto boxes - they really help OP. I’d recommend atleast starting with something like that. I only get 3x meals a weeks as anymore and they end up going to waste.

Or simply cook - which i also use is very simple and straight forward. It’s just the spice pots and 4-5 ingredients.

I’ll do a roast chicken and serve with salad, houmous, a jacket potato.

Slow cooked chilli. I love the slow cooker!
Salmon and veg traybake

Oooh really?! I will try that! I love a bit of chilli oil with most things! (hmmm.... thinking, maybe a slight driblet of sesame oil as well... sesame oil in teeny quantities is a bit of a weakness of mine).

I used to do Menu planning. I did it while standing in the grocery store and bought whatever meats were on sale that way. Plus veg fruit milk etc etc for the week.
I'd count out 6 evening meals in the trolley, plus school lunches and make sure there was food for breakfast.
It helped we lived 1//2 hour to the small expensive grocery store and 45mins from the more affordable grocery stores. So there was no going back on what I'd got and one night a week we had either Pizza or Chinese food.

I feel your pain, OP. I have always enjoyed cooking but the relentless nature of it can grind you down. My 3 are young teens now, 2 are vegetarian, one is very limited in what she will eat. I find the thinking up meals bit the most draining, so generally meal-plan. More recently, I made a decision that on 3 days a week, we would always have something similar - so, Sunday is always some sort of roast, Monday, some sort of pasta dish, and Thursdays, j.p’s with various toppings. I find this helps ease the mental load. Also, I have started getting each DC to help cook once a week(and come up with the meal, if they want to). It’s a bit hit and miss, but generally I think it’s been a good thing to start up and they’re learning some basic cooking skills. Good luck!

@MangshorJhol does your name mean eat water? Thank you so much for the recipes and taking the time to write them out! I’ll also look up that book - I’ve so many Indian recipe books but I don’t think you can have too many. I’ll try a dahl without the tarka for the kids. I use Kashmiri chilli powder with success for family meals and add some extra chopped chilli for us.