Can I phone in sick for this reason?

[lurchersforever]

Work is hideous and has been for around a year. I'm in a senior role and last week it got even worse than I could ever have imagined. I've been crying all weekend and have stuff to do today for tomorrow and I just can't. I don't want to go in, I really don't. But when they say no one is indispensable, it's not quite right. As well as the normal bits of my job there are two massive events/projects going on tomorrow involving lots of people, staff and service users (public sector) and I am leading them. It will be chaotic without me there but I don't know if I can hold it together anyway. My support network there has gone. I don't know what to do.

Could you get a doctors note and be signed off ? Xx

You don’t need a doctors note for first week as you can self certify for a week. It’s hard to advise without knowing what’s happened to have you crying all weekend (not that you have to say on here!) but stress is a reason for sickness.

I'd say it's fine to not go.

What is your reason for being off, that's the first thing to get straight? Anxiety, bullying, burnout. When you have your reason you can form your plan. If I were you I would get through tomorrow, book a doctor's appointment and try to get signed off till the New Year. Use the time to get your head together, public sector so you will be unionised, talk to them and get conversations going at work to deal with the root cause.

Feel better soon

Stress is absolutely a valid reason for being off sick, yes. Whether it’s personal or work related is totally irrelevant.
It falls under mental health, and is legally treated the exact same way as physical illness.

Everyone is dispensable

if you weren’t able to come in for another reason say you broke your arm and needed surgery, they’d need to get by because they’d have to

take a few days, or longer if you need but ultimately time off won’t make your job better so decide what you want to do over the next few days.
start job hunting or speak up to your current employer if you think they would make changes. If not use the time off to get your cv together and start applying for roles

eta I absolutely think it’s the right thing to take time off for the reason you suggest.

Could you do the work you need to do for tomorrow, e mail it to your senior and explain you’re not well enough to be at work tomorrow? Only do this if you’re up to it though. Work will have to manage if you’re not able.

Then don’t go in, if your employer has an employee wellbeing service contact them and ask for an appointment.

See how you feel in a couple of days and go from there.

I’d also be moving any e mails that have contributed to you feeling like this to a separate folder so you can easily access them. Also make a note of any other conversations you have had regarding what is happening.

But yes, stress is a valid reason for being off sick.

What can you do today to reduce the stress of tomorrow? You shouldn't have to obviously but it sounds alot like being nervous for tomorrow is a major factor so I'd prep today, get your self to M&S and get yourself a nice lunch and dinner for tomorrow so you dont need to worry about that, get in early tomorrow and get your event up and running. Id possibly even take all my stuff and book into a cheap Travel Lodge or Premier Inn so I could relax and just focus on this and not have to worry about partners, children or pets

Once tomorrows over then re-evaluate a workplace and your role and look for something new. If you need a breather by all means go off with stress but this seems like a long term problem that won't actually be fixed by time off really it'll just kick the problem further down the road

I would say if the job is causing you that level of stress and distress then you are not well. Crying all weekend is awful and you should not be feeling like that - certainly enough for some time off sick.

But unless this really is a one-off caused by the specific events you've been organising then it sounds like the underlying cause needs to be addressed with your manager too.

Do it. No job is worth feeling like this over.

Please please please listen to your body! I’m also senior role and had a bit of a breakdown several weeks back. More than happy to chat if you want to message me.

Personally I'd do the event (rather than dumping other, possibly less 'senior', colleagues in the shit) and then take some time off. Yes you have to think about yourself but in a senior role you also have to think about those below you in the team.

Thanks all. The issues definitely won't be solved by going off and that is what has kept me going all along. They're varied - upwards bullying, poor leadership from above, workload... If I do go off tomorrow it won't be people beneath me who have to pick up the pieces it will be those above, who will probably use it against me and pick holes in the arrangements and make out it would have been a disaster anyway....Lack of resources, time and support do mean the event won't be what I had hoped for anyway...

Self certify for a week and look for a new job

"The issues definitely won't be solved by going off and that is what has kept me going all along"

@lurchersforever perhaps turn this around... the issues haven't been solved by you going in either, have they?

Your employers are impossible to please either way, so maybe it is time to look after yourself, put your own wellbeing and mental health first, and take some time off sick.

How are you today OP?

Thanks for asking @Shallysally . I went in and actually feel a bit better today and the event went well. At home I would have sat worrying about it so I am glad I went but in the long-term I do need to make some significant changes.

Glad you’re feeling a little better, and that yesterday went well.
Take the time to consider your next job, perhaps look at some agency work if you’re in a profession that this would be possible for. It would give you some breathing space.